Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: HeinrichHauslersHairstyle

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Melbourne Australia

14 time Ironman...the shame that must be unspoken

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's activity:

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2013

The mighty VSP generator has been switched on once again. The mil-spec hydraulic fluid has been changed since the Giro. A new power take-off belt has also been installed. And the punch card reader has been refurbished.Broome and Berti are already riding the Critérium du Dauphiné. The top contenders prefer the Dauphiné for the decent recovery all...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Apparently he used his pelvis to protect his palms from the road. »

  2. Heinrich DOWN!  Bruises, multiple wounds, fractured pelvis, fractured hip…hair messed up. »

  3. Heinrich to dominate. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich 2. TJ Van 3. Ryder 4. Martin 5. Kreusiger »

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro D’Italia 2013

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @mouse he’s back! »

  2. @paolo valid points indeed. for me di2 is new, shiny and good. Like the first time I got carbon clinchers, a carbon frame or sti. It adds to the ride not detracts. Doesn’t mean non-users are Luddites, just different perspectives on what makes a ride quali… »

  3. @ChrisO I’ve got mechanical gears as well…on my tri-bike. »

  4. @ChrisO good point. Will replace immediately. »

  5. @ChrisO I’ve been using di2 for about 8 months. 100% reliable and the comparison of time needed to be spent on maintenance  compared to mechanical is stark. Apart from a monthly recharge, done more as precaution than need,  there is zero necessity to tune… »

Guest Article: Down with the YJA

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @Daccordi Rider Difficult to tell as they are covered by the afore mentioned quick-tie laden helmet. But I hazard a guess they’d be funking awful. »

  2. @ChrisO Yep, thought it might be an Australia only phenomenon. Thankfully our Magpies are vindictive fuckers so seem to target these knob-ends fairly well despite  the apparently deadly spears of thin plastic protruding from the helmet. »

  3. Beach Rd, Melbourne, Australia. YJA, MTB shoes, business socks, unshaven legs, non invited drafting, quick-ties looped through helmet to ward off magpies, non-cycling sunglasses, Shimano Tiagro group set on a budget priced Giant. Chapeau to you for gettin… »

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro d’Italia 2013, Stage 10

Day 5 of the Six Days of the Giro continues with an impromptu VSP event.Lets have a look at where we are in the 2013 Giro. Wiggins must have spent time training in Luxembourg because he’s been descending like a Schleck when things get dodgy before disappearing into the team van to have a cry about it. Hesjedal has put in some good moves and...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Cadel 2. Nibali 3. Wiggo 4. Some nondescript Italian 5. A pro-conti Italian »

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro D’Italia 2013

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Sir Sulkalot Wiggins 2. Il Duce Nibali 3. Digger Cadel 4. Maple Leaf Ryder 5. Gesink don’t stink »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Sir Sulkalot Wiggins 2. Il Duce Nibali 3. Digger Cadel 4. Maple Leaf Ryder 5. Basso Berlusconi »

Velominati Super Prestige: Luik-Bastenaken-Luik 2013

There is something to love about a race that makes a deviation to its route for the simple joy of sending a fleet of professional riders up a fiendishly steep and narrow ramp. The Cote du Stockeu offers zero benefit to the route from a logistical standpoint – in fact, all it does is complicate things. On the way down from the Cote de Wanne &#...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Valverde 2. Gilbert 3. Gerrans 4. Martin 5. Rodriguez »

Riding Ugly: Damien Gaudin

The simple art of riding a bicycle can be undertaken in many ways. Watching the stylish commuters of Amsterdam going about their business in the most Casually Deliberate way makes you wonder if indeed anyone is actually going about any business at all. I don’t know how anything ever gets done in that city; everyone seems to be on their way to...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. Gaudin was quality in Paris-Roubaix. To relieve the drudgery of a long ride on Beach Rd here in Melbourne my training partner and I will sometimes pass each other faux rogering an invisible lass on our bikes. Gaudin looks likes he’s both fucking and being… »

Velominati Super Prestige: La Flèche Wallone 2013

We came tantalizingly close to adding a foray up the Mur de Huy during our excursion to Liege-Bastogne-Liege during this year’s Keepers Tour. But good sense and The Anti-V prevailed, as they are wont to do, and only two of us were left wanting a dig at the most notorious finishing climb in the Classics season.I write this, then, woefully igno...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. No Heinrich, no interest. VSP PICKS: 1. Gilbert 2. Gerrans 3. Martin 4. Sagan 5. Valverde »

Velominati Super Prestige: Amstel Gold 2013

Yes it is a race named after a barely drinkable Dutch beer. I have enjoyed Amstel beer, brought to our table by a nice waitress, sitting outside in the Dutch spring. Atmosphere is everything. Do the Dutch brew awesome beer? I drank some good stuff in Amsterdam last spring but I’m pretty sure it was Belgian.Now we begin the Ardennes three race...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. No Heinrich but Gilbert to carry the torch for atrocious hairstylers. VSP PICKS: 1. Gilbert 2. Sagan 3. Gerrans 4. Slagter 5. Tiernan-Locke »

Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich 2. Fabian 3. Chavanel 4. Flecha 5. Hayman »

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen 2013

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. @Erik Heinrich shattered after peloton vote him ‘Stupidest hairstyle 2009′. »

  2. Heinrich to win and say “fuck youse all” on podium. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich foul mouth 2. Cancellara 3. Sagan 4. Chavanel 5. Some Obscure Belgian »

Velominati Super Prestige: Gent-Wevelgem 2013

Gent (Deinze)-Wevelgem, it starts with 130 km of cruising around Belgium and Northern France followed by a flurry of bergs and then a final 38 km of  flatter riding to the inevitable sprint finish. How hard can the climbing be if Super Mario got over them? Ask the riders from KT 2012, (the ones not in the following car) and they will tell you...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. …and excellent to read Heinrich laying down some first class Australian-style reflections post race. »

  2. Sagan needs to work on his salutes or come out and pay due respect to Robbie. Next race he’s going to crash 20k from the finish, get back on, weave his way through and take the win…yeah! »

  3. Come on Heinrich, lift! VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich 2. Sagan 3. Fabian 4. Sylvan Chav 5. Head butt Renshaw »

Velominati Super Prestige: Milan-Sanremo 2013

Finally, we have Milan-Sanremo. I hope pedale.forcetta is ready to shoot some pictures, especially black and white because it will be cold and possibly wet. Throw in a little wind and a race of this distance will weed out the less hardy. Recently, but not too recently, this race would be won out of a decent size field sprint. And yet, besides Fabs...

@HeinrichHauslersHairstyle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Heinrich – my hero 2. M-Cav 3. Sagan 4. Thor 5. Head butt Renshaw »

    2. Older Posts