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Velominatus: JACD214

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Grand Rapids, MI

Social: /

I recently returned to cycling after 30 years with the purchase of my Felt Z6 with a compact group set. That's been replaced by something with a bit more meat; Ultegra. More teeth in the front and less in the back. (53-39 and 11/23 on the cassette.) Wheels will be next once funds come back up. My bike is 100% compliant with the rules, #33 is in effect and #5 is always in progress.

@JACD214's activity:

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending i...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Excellent! Great news, to be sure. I began shaving my guns maybe 18 months ago and didn’t even question continuing during the winter. Sure, I was covered head to toe for six degree riding and no one could see; but I knew it. I couldn’t bear the thought o… »

To look good is already to go fast. -Paul Fournel, VéloMy approach to research is pretty straight forward. First, I develop an opinion – usually in a cognitively compromised state. This is the first step in the process for the simple reason that it avoids the bulk of the hard work involving things like reading and thinking. Next, I cherry-pi...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Don’t force it; use a bigger hammer and keep looking until all the necessary science you find supports your premise. Very nice article. »

One of the finest things about Velominati is it attracts the crazy bastards. Cyclists are slightly unhinged anyway but there are more than a few out there who have no fear. Crazy is not constrained by nationality. Crazy knows no borders. Sure the Randonneurs would do this just to make sure they were happy with their choice of headlamp strap but @ba...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Wow. Chapeau, Gentlemen. Chapeau. »

I have no dog in this fight but @Henrik does. I can’t swim in the serious ‘stache growing gene pool. And yes, it’s already Vajanuary, we left Mo’vember with nary a nod, why, because it’s stupid. Rule #50 could have included having the last name Freuler and wearing the prison stripped Atala kit as the second exception...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I’ll take the necessary hits for the violation. I grew my Van Dyke (goatee with a ‘stache) 20 years ago. I started cycling 16 months ago. I’m grandfathering in the whiskers and keeping the facial hair. Besides it’s fun to send pictures of my Michigan win… »

I realise that I may never live this down, and that my reputation within the Velominati community will be damaged irreparably, but I’m out. – Anonymous AKA @936ADLDespite the endless talk of tea and cakes, the inaugral London Cogal will be remembered for that other quintessentially English conversation point, the weather. Everything was...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Chapeau, gentlemen, chapeau. I congratulate you from within the warm walls of my study, protected from the cold rain and dark I avoided for the evening. I sit humbled at your feet hiding from the freezing elements enveloping my city. I’ll do my penance … »

When you’re a kid, riding with your hands off the bars is something done for thrills, for style, and to impress chicks. As an older, wiser Velominatus, it can be a handy maneuvre to aid removing or donning extra clothing, taking a feed from your pockets, and to impress women (because that’s how adults refer to chicks). Get it right and...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I love riding with no hands. “Make sure you can actually ride no hands. Seems obvious, but you need to practice away from the dangers of cars, pedestrians and other riders to hone your no-handed balance first, before moving on to clothing removal/additio… »

Merckx famously professed that after a night of sinning, the body must be cleansed. He obviously meant this figuratively, not literally, because those mud guards on his bike aren’t going to take a big bite out of whatever that lorry has to offer him by way of a Flandrian facial.Winter is a tough time for those of us pawing about in search of...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. @frank Straight up brilliant! The crashing dog at the hurdles came right over for a beer hand-up and a bit of bacon before continuing. »

I am a road cyclist, at heart. Even when I’m in a car, I’ll daydream about riding the same road I’m driving. I’ll imagine how the tarmac might feel as my wheels carry me across it, the wind, the smells in the air. I’ll imagine how my lungs are expanding and contracting, cleansing me a little with every exhale. In my mi...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I mentioned the Lowell 50 earlier – That was this morning. It was a soul searing ride with mud, bits of rain and hard gusting wind. Of the two distances to race, 55km or 92km, I raced the latter in my age division (over 50) and out of the finishers number… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I’ve searched and cannot find anything in the news. I imagine if he had been in bad shape or had he died, It would have made the news big time. I’m going with the he must be okay story. »

  2. I’ve been here for about a year now and I think I may have found the only reason to hope I never fully embrace Rule #5. Tonight was our weekly club ride and while not an employee of the hosting LBS, I am occasionally asked to be in charge of some rides. … »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. @Balexander But wait… that cluster is hanging on a Giant mountain bike. Scroll through some of the other pictures on the page. It’s not on a road bike, so I’m wondering – Do we care? »

  2. @PeakInTwoYears +1 I want to know where this comes from as well. I’ve searched the internets to my best ability and cannot find it. I want one. »

  3. @Beers My namesake street? Quebec? »

  4. @piwakawaka Yes, I’m still fiddling with the fit and I might make slight changes while on a ride. I’ve also used it on other’s bikes as well. »

  5. @titirangisi Yeah. What @titirangisi said. »

  6. I have to say Gianni has some serious balls for posting this, with plenty of extra space to keep ‘em in his extra sack, there. Now then, how’s a Pedalwan supposed to react? I’m so confused. Here’s how I do it as per my interpretation of the rules – Left … »

There has been some gravel fever going around; there is a lot of talk of new bikes and new routes. I don’t live in gravel country and have not caught the disease, yet. @Antoniv submitted this tale of gravel. It’s a bit long but the race was long too. For those of us who haven’t caught the bug, this might help, or hurt. Either way,...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. @Antoniv First, Chapeau! You went. I have friends who also rode, one crashed 10 miles in and will most likely have surgery to repair the damaged shoulder. The others told tales of unbelievable misery. Ugh. The 80 mile oasis was out of water at one point a… »

I am a road cyclist, at heart. Even when I’m in a car, I’ll daydream about riding the same road I’m driving. I’ll imagine how the tarmac might feel as my wheels carry me across it, the wind, the smells in the air. I’ll imagine how my lungs are expanding and contracting, cleansing me a little with every exhale. In my mi...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I bought my Felt F75 CX late last winter for winter riding, but I’ve come to recognize it for the its full potential on gravel and dirt. I was at Dirty Kanza 200 as support for 4 riders and watching these bad-ass people finish convinced me gravel is king…. »

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Rest in peace, Jon. Ride on where flats can’t happen, chains stay greased and roads are perpetually smooth, paved by angels. Ride on where the climbs are steep, descents are crazy fun. Ride on where no one in front touches their brakes and tail winds p… »

All You Bike Pricks,Whoo-hoo Seattle, the sun is out! Let’s discuss a few things before you fumble with swapping the unused ski rack for the unused bike rack on the Subaru. Continue reading...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. If you shitheads had any money, you wouldn’t NEED a vintage Poo-zhow to get laid. Ahahahahahahahaha!!!!   Poo-zhow…    Ahahahahahahahaha… »

@prowrench is throwing down the greasy gauntlet. There is truth in his words. We already understand the gap between the professional cyclist and us civilians extends somewhere over the horizon. We can ride the bikes, wear nice kit and ride the race routes but that’s about as close as we can get. No one is paying us to ride. We are not Pros. B...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. I talk to my mechanic. He guides me. He will  not let me falter. I seldom make any adjustments without his advice. I always ask. After having taken his basics class, if heading into untried waters, he give me good advice. Sometimes that advice is “Leave y… »

A death is a painful thing to experience. Particularly, I imagine, for the one doing the dying. For those left behind, it takes time to mourn and come to grips with the change; it is an unpleasant process, but such is the way of things.The crack in the chainstay of my beloved Cervelo R3 had been weighing on my mind ever since I discovered its exist...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Sa-weet Bicycle. That is all. »

This is possibly the most offensive piece of gear I have encountered on a bike. Do you really need a little orange wand to tell you what gear you’re in? There is only one gear to be in: the hardest one at which you can still make the pedals go around in something resembling a circle.These goofy little things were found on the bike I rented la...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. Here’s the deal with those indicators – They don’t work. I mean they don’t do anything. I came to cycling last August after 35 years away. I was amazed at what was available at the LBS. Wow! For budgetary considerations I needed somewhat entry level gear … »

There are many paths to learning lessons, many of which have their merits. Reading a book, for instance, is a popular way of learning something. Or having a teacher or mentor describe to you why things are the way they are or aren’t the way they aren’t. Then there is my favorite method, that of kicking your own head in and discovering t...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. @Jay I think they’d probably destroy that bicycle with the amount of V they’d curse it with. But seriously, who would be the captain and who the stoker? I can’t imagine either one of them being to willing to finish behind the other. »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@JACD214's posts:

  1. My crap-shoot… »