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Velominatus: Jarvis

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

@Jarvis's activity:

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. I am always rubbish at this VSP PICKS: 1. Phillipe 2. Kwiatowski 3. Saga Holiday 4. Sparticus 5. Vichot »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. @Rick That’s not a fucking Trabant. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. @mcsqueak nice shoes »

  2. @Chris see comment to Mirko about spare cash ;-) »

  3. @Chris new model has a different seatclamp design to mine. But photographer was poor as crank is not in line with seatpost… »

  4. @Tartan1749 If the valves were a 6 o’clock that would mean the tyre logo would be as well and that is just wrong. Tyre logo has to be at 12 o’clock. @Mirko Like I said, it has taken two and half years to finish hence a generation behind on Ultegra sh… »

  5. @Chris Frank is talking bollocks about QR levers. Yes, the rear tyre could be slightly better positioned, think the shop must have shuffled it slightly when they were fettling the bike… @Mirko what Shimano shifters don’t have the cables coming from… »

  6. After two and a half years of injury, prevaricating, small children, prevaricating, small children, prevaricating some more and a serious illness I have finally finished my best bike: And after three weeks of dry weather, the day I finally feel well en… »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. I will be wrong again, but at least I will be consistent VSP PICKS: 1. Thomas 2. Sylvain 3. One Trick Pony (Canc’elloutus) 4. Tur-go(t) 5. Vansummeren »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. March 29, 2013 – April 8, 2013 // Lille, France // Event Details // Book Now

    The Hardmen. They inspire us; we aspire to be one among them. They are the solitary voice among the thousands in our heads that tell us to keep pushing when all the others tell us to stop. Their long shadows look on in approval as we pull on our cold and wet weather gear and head out into the elements to ride.

    Every serious Cyclist is a hard man or woman; it comes with the territory. But to be given the title of Hardman, one must be more than just tough. The Hardmen stand out among the rest as the ones who ride over the savage, jagged cobblestones of Northern Europe with a souplesse that is possessed only by those riders who thrive in the most torturous of road cycling’s domains: The Cobbled Classics of Northern Europe.

    Velominati has partnered up with Pavé Cycling Classics, based in Northern France, to offer the chance to walk where Giants tread and pedal through the trench of Arenberg and up the devastating cobbled steeps of the Koppenberg and Kapelmuur. To pedal with the Pros during their reconnaissance of the Paris-Roubaix route.

    As if that isn’t good enough, we offer the opportunity to do all this with Johan Museeuw, the last Lion of Flanders.

    Velominati’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013 will be hosted and guided by the Velominati Keepers in partnership with Pavé Cycling Classics over nine days in April during the most sacred time of the season, the week when de Ronde van Vlaanderen and Paris Roubaix are held. The trip is all-inclusive and covers lodging, meals, energy drink, energy bars, and sag support. Bikes are available and included in the price should you wish not to bring your own.

    The friendships forged over the 2012 edition of Keepers Tour with 9 days of riding the cobbles of Flanders and Northern France, drinking the best of Belgian beer, and eating the finest French cuisine leave an indelible mark on not only the Keepers, but all those who attend. Cycling has that ability to bring people together, and we count ourselves very blessed to have met such a great bunch of souls who we are proud to call our mates.

    For 2013, we have trimmed the fat and added a bunch of amazing treats for you. Not only will we be riding the Pavé du Nord, the steeps of Liége and the Kasseien of Flanders, we will be doing it with a very special guest; The Lion of Flanders himself, Johan Museeuw. Last year we had the pleasure of an afternoon with Johan, riding some of the Gent-Wevelgem route and enjoying a few beers after. This time, you can witness firsthand how to float across the stones of Arenberg and charge up the Kapelmuur from the master… how many cyclists are able to say that?

    Take this unique opportunity to be part of an experience that everyone attending will never forget, or regret.

    Provisional Itinerary

    • Friday : Pick up midday, travel to gite and get bikes setup
    • Saturday : Paris-Roubaix with Johan Museeuw (last 150km)
    • Sunday : Watch de Ronde van Vlaanderen at the Oude Kwaremont
    • Monday: Visit the Roeselare National Bicycle Museum & go for an easy ride around Kemmel
    • Tuesday:  Liège-Bastogne- Liège with Johan Museeuw
    • Wednesday: Track riding at the Eddy Merckx Velodrome in Gent then watch the GP Escault (Scheldeprijs) pro race
    • Thursday: Paris Roubaix reconaissance ride with the Pros
    • Friday: Brunehaut brewery visit and meet with Pro Team (Omega-Pharma Quickstep or AG2R)
    • Saturday: Ronde Van Vlaanderen with Johan Museeuw (150km)
    • Sunday: Watch Paris Roubaix at three secteurs (Valenciennes, Arenberg, l’Arbre); optional stay at gite on Sunday night

    Price: 3990€, All inclusive price includes rides with Johan Museeuw, accommodation for 9 nights, breakfast, lunch, dinner, beer, wine, insurance coverage, sag support, Pavé’s custom Cyfac rental bikes (upon request), exclusive V-Lion V-Shirts, exclusive Keepers Tour V-Pint, exclusive V-Mussette, and Pavé Cycling Classics jersey. Plus swag from our sponsors.

    At this time we are accepting reservations for the full Keepers Tour, and now we also include weekend and daily packages. Once the reservation is confirmed, we will collect a 20% deposit with the balance due upon arrival in Lille.

    Attendees should be comfortable riding in groups and be able to ride 150km several times in a week at a 28-30kph pace; some groups may elect to go faster but these are non-competitive rides. There will be lots of cobbles, and lots of short, steep climbs – sometimes both at the same time, so prepare yourself accordingly. We will usually have sag support, and riders who are unable to keep up may be asked to climb in the car. Or to Survive on V.


    There is a problem with our booking form; please email to register.


    Bookings are closed for this event.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date - March 29, 2013 - April 07, 2013
    12:00 AM - 12:00 AM

    Gare de Lille Flandres

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. I have money on G, best he delivers… VSP PICKS: 1. Geraint 2. Slyvain 3. Saag Aloo 4. Canceloutus 5. Kristoff »

  2. Anyway, bollocks to the early closure, my picks are: 1. Geraint 2. Chava 3. Sagan 4. Cancellara 5. Kristoff »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. @principle that is a fucking awesome photo »

With the writing of our first book supposedly well underway (but in reality being discussed ad-nauseum in the Boardroom rather than actually committed to text), The Rules have at least been getting some form of attention from The Keepers. When deciding which Rules each of us were to curate, no-one really had much idea what exactly was in there; ask...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. No idea if this has been covered, but a bidon rule must include the requirement that once empty, a bidon must never be thrown away. The only exceptions are if the bidon is thrown directly to a roadside fan, collection point or helper; or at a rival sprint… »

The Rules are about cultivating a passion for riding our bikes to gain the maximum enjoyment possible. This requires humility, for one thing, and devotion, for another. It requires a balance between focusing on progress and enjoying the journey. It demands a reverence for our history paired with a hunger for evolution. The Rules teach us balance, t...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. @ChrisO That Jez Hunt kit in in violation of many Rules. On one hand it is not the authorised national champions jersey as required by the national federation and two it is fucking awful. This is a clear violation of The Rules. »

With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even just the Keeper...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. …and I think that is the Kemmelberg in the background. Somewhere under that hill a dishevelled Jarvis is trying to stay warm »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. Brunyeel is a COTHO »

  2. I real;y am fucking useless at this game. However I believe I have learnt a few things from this spring: 1) J-Rod will never win a monument as he can’t go the distance (neither can Boss Hog) 2) Vo-clair (beautiful pronunciation by the Sporza commentators)… »

With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even just the Keeper...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. Forgive me if this has already been covered, but the photograph seems to be of Johan Museeuw, in a Velominati t-shirt, bouncing on a trampoline… »

Rule #57 is clear: No stickers. The detail-oriented Velominatus, however, will immediately understand the difference between a sticker and a decal. You cherish your machine; the Name Badge allows you to mark your trusted steed with your call-sign. Each Name Badge is hand-made to order and bears the name you designate.Made only of the highest-qual...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. Just alcohol? That’s remarkably lax for the velominati. It should be: “Note: Carefully clean surface prior to application using Single Malt Whisky” »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Tom Vo-Clair 2. Vanendert 3. J-Rod 4. Philleeeeppepe 5. Uran Uran Uran Uran »

With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even just the Keeper...

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. Fucking compact *spits* he’s gone down in my estimation »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Pooley 2. Vos 3. Arndt 4. Johansson 5. Cooke »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vanendert 2. Uran 3. Gasparotto 4. Gilbert 5. Duarte »

@Jarvis's posts:

  1. Just replaced the Antares on the ‘cross bke (a temporary measure) with an Aliante. Nice to see direct comparison and that the Aliante is probably more comfortable »