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Velominatus: Jeff in PetroMetro

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: Dallas, Texas, USA

Just another middle-aged cycling twatwaffle. Raced road, track, and a little cyclo-cross from 1985-1990. Currently ride 250km+ per week (in my mind). The older I get, the better I was.

@Jeff in PetroMetro's activity:

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. I like this pic of Jon the most.  The background is awesome.  The rain is dripping off his jacket.  He’s soaked to the bone.  It’s 7C or less.  He’s been riding for hours.  He’s had three flats.  No shit.  Three flats.  Just ask @Buck Rogers.  Hard man, t… »

  2. So I sent a bunch of pics of @itburns to Frank this morning from the Austin Cogal.  I’m not sure if Frank can even find them as I’ve douched up everything I’ve tried to do on both Velominati and FB with regard to Jon.  Oh well.  (Frank, if you can find th… »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. Howdy from Big D! I, for one, will drive UK book sales from my little corner of the intertubes and have copies shipped to me from across the pond.  I feel pretty good about my ability to translate tyre to tire.  However, I’m still struggling to replace C… »

I’m not going to lie to you, friction is an asshole. In the bottom bracket, in the bending of every single link in your chain as it rolls over the cogs and threads its way through the rear derailleur, and in the pulleys themselves, the devils. I cleaned out my rain bike last weekend after a few rides where I was forced to neglect my usual dai...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @Nate Majestic parking garages. I’m using them for the Gran Fondo NY in May.  AND, I’m feeling a tad weight weenie-ish.  So I’m being a bit self-indulgent. »

  2. Oh, and I’ll run Conti Sprinters. »

  3. My Haleakalas just left Grand Forks, ND about 2 hours ago, according to FedEx.  Ooooooo, I.Can.Not.Wait!!!  Thanks Dan_R!!! »

Somehow Movember and Vajanuary have slipped out of our grasp without too much fanfare. It’s never too late to pay homage to a ‘stash and a rider such as Urs Freuler. Our trusty cycling historian @wiscot has once again stepped up and delivered, many thanks. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @G’rilla Nipple lube. »

  2. @Gianni  Vajanuary?  I’m gonna have to Google. Gotta give Danny Clark (80’s track beast) an honorable mention for his ‘stache. »

At some point, I reckon the idea may dawn on me that I’m not a climber. Eighty kilos and standing something just shy of two meters, I’m not clear on why climbing is what speaks to me most about Cycling; I’m certainly not built like a grimpeur. But there is no question about it; I love riding in the mountains. I only have to catch...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. This gives me schadenfreudebone. »

@steampunk dropped this beauty of a photo on us. Volumes being spoken here, none of which makes being a pro look so great. Thanks Steamy.VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Like when it becomes your job. »

I can’t really call it an obsession. If it was an obsession, I would have commissioned a bloke I’ve never met to build me a set of ultra-light wheels and I would have spent an outrageous amount of money to upgrade my handlebars in an identical shape from aluminum to carbon in an effort to shave a few grams off the top end of my machine...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @Duende Wait a minute!  I thought we were playing by the Price Is Right rules!  (Oh the agony.) »

@steampunk dropped this beauty of a photo on us. Volumes being spoken here, none of which makes being a pro look so great. Thanks Steamy.VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I was JUST about to add a crucifix post when I read yours!  Man, that pic is a shitstorm of awesome.  Completely spent, and knowing he’s gotta find some nourishment and rest before doing it again tomorrow. »

I can’t really call it an obsession. If it was an obsession, I would have commissioned a bloke I’ve never met to build me a set of ultra-light wheels and I would have spent an outrageous amount of money to upgrade my handlebars in an identical shape from aluminum to carbon in an effort to shave a few grams off the top end of my machine...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @frank I’ve got a pair of Haleakalas coming from Dan_R in the next couple of months. You’ve got me as giddy as a school girl with your reports of this week’s vanquishing of the volcano.  CAN.NOT.WAIT.FOR.MY.HALEAKALAS.  And, again, way to kick that volcan… »

  2. Very vvell done!!!  I was way over (3:45:45).  Shame, the wind.  3:30?  I can see why you’re planning a return next year.  That would be amazing to get less than 60 minutes away from the record–held by some Canadian in a pink t-shirt, if my memory serves… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @G’rilla I worry about the lead QC test engineer.  A bit bonkers, he. »

I can’t really call it an obsession. If it was an obsession, I would have commissioned a bloke I’ve never met to build me a set of ultra-light wheels and I would have spent an outrageous amount of money to upgrade my handlebars in an identical shape from aluminum to carbon in an effort to shave a few grams off the top end of my machine...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @frank 3:45:45 Happy New Year!  And don’t fuck this up.  BTW, I bought a pair of the same wheels from Café Roubaix a few weeks ago in anticipation of my Gran Fondo New York ride/race in May.  In your honor, I’m naming them “Haleakalas”.  Just sayin’. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @frank They are 24’s.  I bought a set from a certain Velominatus at Café Roubaix about three weeks ago.  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting. »

It has been a crazy year, this, with our first annual Keepers Tour sorted, partnerships with the industry’s leading icons including Johan Museeuw, Pavé Cycling Classics, DeFeet, fi'zi:k, and Lezyne – and a book deal to boot (deadline looming large on January 1st). We couldn’t have asked for a better year, and would like to remind...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. Merckxy Christmas!!!!! VLVV »

Truth be told, how many of us can resist a photo of ourselves Looking Fantastic on the bike? How many of us can resist the temptation of taking our eyes off the road and stealing a glimpse of ourselves in a shop window as we pass by? Not me, but then again a strong case could be made for my being a narcissist and I freely admit that I love looking...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. My daughter has a gift for colors.  And for painting toes. »

  2. Me–Bedtime story. »

The only thing worse than being two months from peaking and too fat to climb is being two months past peaking and in the middle of the season of rapid weight gain. At least with the former there is something to look forward to as you measure the incremental gains of your training as the almost daily rides of the season accumulate on your Strava pro...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @frank Merckx, Frank.  21-year-old Balvenie.  Owned a bottle of that very elixir-of-life myself.  Now that is something quite special. »

There must still be a few readers out there who have not followed the Dutch Monkey down the merry tubular path; for them I offer an update on an alternative. Road tubeless has been lauded as the best thing to happen to cycling since the introduction of seatpins. These have been around for years but the road version has not gathered the expected mom...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears We weren’t getting lucky with the rim/tire combination.  The guy that was teaching me how to do it was an ex-mountain bike racer, and totally mechanically proficient.  And even he was getting flustered with this particular pair.  Eventu… »

  2. I’ve helped set up some tubeless mountain bike tires.  What a giant pain in the ass.  I’ll stick with sew-ups. »

The flat back position is perhaps the greatest lie ever told in sport, provided you ignore any of the racing we’ve seen in the last decade or two.It is possible, I suppose, that when we talk about a flat back, what we really mean is that on an elementary level, all curves are really just a series of straight segments connected at an angle; wh...

@Jeff in PetroMetro's posts:

  1. @Nate Yes, but there were about 12 Velominati back then.  Five of them were Keepers.  And even Frank thought about breaking up my story into multiple entries.  A serial, if you will.  I’ll try to keep this next one a little shorter. »

  2. @Nate If you all will indulge me.  And Gianni let’s it in. »

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