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Velominatus: Ken Ho

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Pikey, based on the Southern Gold Coast, Australia

48 yr male, Gold Coast Australia, Bianchi Mono-Q, hates helmet laws with a bloody passion, riding a bike makes me feel like a kid, likes to skateboard too and lots of other stuff, mainly that they didn't teach in school. Currently sporting a recently installed titanium plate on my left collarbone. Actualy, thats out now They are still a good idea to fix busted wings.

@Ken Ho's activity:

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. 11.   Run a mirror.  Most fatalities in Oz happen when the cyclist is struck form behind, especially at pinch points.  KNowing what’s coming can save your life. 12.  Make eye contact before crossing the path of a vehicle.  If you can’t see the whites o… »

@Bianchi_Bob sent his article in just this week. Its sense of urgency required it to be published NOW. We all need reminding to live in the moment; here is a good reminder. Thanks Bianchi Bob. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. Spot on Bob. At about 14 or 15, I heard Dark Side of the Moon for the first time, and the lyrics to “Time” crystallised your exact thoughts in my mind.  I always lived every day, ever wary of falling into mediocrity and keeping my hand firmly on the till… »

Climbing is something I enjoy more than I am good at it; any time I see a new road pointing up to the heavens, I find myself irresistibly drawn to explore where it leads. Every season I come to the conclusion that my training routes are all very hilly and I arrive at the brilliant idea that I should plot out a new course which seeks out the flatt...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. So, I’m mildly confused.  As an article on the mental aspects of hill-climbing, it was not bad.  But the awkward attempt to include “sur la plaque” as part of the thought process didn’t really work. That rule should be re-written as ” use the right gear”… »

Maybe it’s the milestone of aging that I recently reached. It could be an awareness of the unique foibles of this sport/activity/pastime that I practice. Possibly, I just woke up one day and realised that this is a weird thing for a middle-aged man to be doing. The time for reassessment hit me, involuntarily and without warning. And I’m...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. Niece piece.  I’ve been riding less over the last six months or so, but not really from lack of desire, just too much other stuff getting in the way, and a horrendous run of flats.  I think I flatted about 10 rides in a row, on 4 different bikes at one st… »

This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule? Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. My car is a Mercedes Vito.  Say no more, squire !! It’s not a problem for me.  I know for a fact, that if I mounted bikes on the roof of any car, I would destroy them at some point.  I’ve gently massaged a surfboard on the roof of my van, and our recentl… »

In my journey through life, I’ve been struck by the near universal existence of the competitive spirit amongst people. Even people who claim not to be competitive in nature are seemingly competitive about how uncompetitive they are. I’m more uncompetitive than you. We find it everywhere, between old friends and perfect strangers alike...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @Fronk Dunno about the article.  I’m too slow to be competitive, so I don’t bother, but more importantly, that’s a cool song from Audioslave, and one I had not been aware of.   If I had to live in the US, it would be in Denver or Seattle.  It must be suc… »

Behind every great rider, there’s a great soigneur. The right hand man, the go-to guy, who tends every whim of his rider, feeding, watering, mending and massaging. Behind the humble Velominatus Regularus, however, there’s a string of injuries, tight muscles, bad posture and aching guns. We are our own soigneurs, and if you’re like...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. I’m as stiff as they come, tried stretching a few years back, just made me sore and miserable. Don’t get back pain, but do lots of weights to keep muscles strong and posture good.  My PT warned me that cyclists are prone to back weakness, so I am happy t… »

Here are a few lessons learned while in New York City. I’m sure leaving a bar at one o’clock in the morning is not how the serious riders prepare for a ride with a 9 o’clock morning roll-out. I am sure. Conversational pace for a group ride means different things to different people. Eddy could talk your ear off at 40kph. Lezyne mini-pump owne...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @Barracuda Absolutely, indeed you do have the TDU, and my comments in no way impugned that fine event. But, your description of your cogal this year was of a small handful of diehards turning out to contend with greater than 40 degree heat, which whil… »

  2. @Barracuda Respectfully,  blistering high summer heat in SA is not the best way to experience cycling in Australia.  Autumn is a much nicer time and the east coast has many more folk who might be interested.  The roads of the Mt Warning caldera are the … »

I would have to start training to even do a recovery ride. And I would have to own a cyclometer, HRM, and the unavoidable watt meter. And all that would tell me what I already don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss until some teenager on a mountain bike gets by you and at that point you better not have a watt meter on your bike. Still, we hav...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. Mild dyslexia  #38 and #74 If a rider passes you on the day, don’t take it personally. Ditch the computer, especially the HRM, so add #72. Rule #18 says “don’t suffer kit confusion”, or, “don’t dress like a cunt”.   That sign is something a COTHO w… »

  2. Not to mention that you would look like a total pretentious wanker with that sign on your back.  Not pro, just slow.  Graciously condescening to let you pass me today, old cock !! Never mind Rules #78 and #34 too.  All that math made my brain hurt. »

  3. Holy crap on toast.  Now, I’m a “rule re-maker”, I’ll admit it, but a whole guest article on how to ignore Rule #71 ? I wonder if Fronk will give me the same space to refine a few others ? »

Given the fact that everyone over-tightens their pedals to the crank arms, one needs a long lever to get too much torque. Rule #94 decrees using the correct tool and using it correctly. While the proper tool has always been available, it is up to us to evolve, to understand the difference between right and wrong, between vice-grip and open-ended w...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. Pedals on a normal roadie don’t need to be pit on too tight, as they continue to tighten themselves as we ride.  I  spin em on, then give them a quick nip. On a fixed track bike, different story, as you might need to slow suddenly on the first lap. For … »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @sthilzy That’s fucked »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @Gianni I have a joke which cannot be topped for sledging both Germans and the Dutch, but it’s a bit rude though its clever and funny. PM me and I’ll share it with you.   You can keep it for a special occasion when Frank needs a spanking. »

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @frank I’ll see your sheepfucker and raise you the weather. Turns out I had a sensational powder day yesterday at the Hole.  Last run I ran across some Texans camped under a cornice drinking some beers.  They invited me to join them and what a grand tim… »

  2. Ha ha, coming into the cooler months here, after our very hot summer, and not only will the temperature be awesome, there is typically little wind on most of my rides.  On some stretches of a particularly fun motorway, the trip south is sheltered by roads… »

Fleurieu Peninsula – Velominati Cogal 8th Feb 2014.Notable quotes to sum up the ride that nearly wasn’t. Continue reading...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. Chapeau to all, but srsly, South Australia in high summer, WTF did you expect ? »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @G’rilla On a balance bike, the child does not need to learn how to pedal and steer/balance at the same time, and they can always put their foot out to avert a crash. Once they have the balance bit down, adding pedals is easy.  Meantime, a child will wea… »

  2. I had a thought, prompted by the Dad’s thread, that maybe there should be a rule mentioned that prohibits the use of training wheels for children (or adults, for that matter) who are learning to ride. Training wheels force the rider to lean the wrong way… »

Lucky is the cyclist who has a parent cyclist. Early mentoring about the pain cave, guidance gluing on tires, these are worthwhile lessons a parent could lecture a child on. If one has to listen to a parental lecture, better it be about Eddy Merckx and how you are no Eddy Merckx than balancing your checking account. For the rest of us, our parents...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @Alex Ek I just started my favourite great-nephew on a balance bike at the same age.  He is a terror on it . Through tragedy, I never got the chance to guide my son through these things, but I’m loving the idea of setting the little fella on the road. »

Every time we get on our bikes, we are playing a game of Russian Roulette. We take care to maintain our machines, to make sure they are in perfect running order, we look after our bodies to maximise our performance, and we, hopefully, abide by the rules of the road to keep ourselves safe from the dangers of other road users. But ultimately, our liv...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. @unversio Depends on where you are. At home on the Gold Coast, I don’t need to ride at night much, but here in Mackay, when I’m away working, the day time traffic is horrendous.   I’ve just been on the trainer for an hour, because a combination of heat… »

  2. @Puffy The mirror is really about pinch points.  When the road narrows abruptly, because of a roundabout, or other road furniture, or even a parked car creating a door zone, then I really like to know what’s coming up behind me.    That occurs a lot on c… »

  3. So, my approach with a mirror and lots of flashing lights is not so uncool then ? »

I’m a non-climber who enjoys climbing. I’d enjoy it more if I was good at it. And “enjoy” might be too strong a word, “tolerate” might be better. But dragging 89 kilos up a volcano gives one time to contemplate the cycling life .Let us define non-climber. It’s someone either too fat, too big (gravitationally challenged) or a fast- twi...

@Ken Ho's posts:

  1. I’m too fat to climb and too stupid to know better. Any decent ride around here means hills and plenty of them. »