Velominati › The Community
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Lordmoos3

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

@Lordmoos3's activity:

We reflect on another year of cycling; who has been naughty and who has been nice. The rusty chain award used to go to the biggest tool of the year but that has been folded into the Anti-V award. In years past the rusty chain award usually went to the present day dopers. Multi-year winners like Danilo “triple threat” Di Luca would now be eligib...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. The Roubaix thing is just Spesh’s most recent douchebaggery. They tried to bury Volagi a few years ago as well. Because the curved top tube and black and red are trademarked. Or something. »

Who is Charly Wegelius? His name would float to the surface in races usually when the road went up. The Phil and Paul show never seemed to go further than, ‘and there goes Charly Wegelius’. In the pre-Sky days, there were not that many English racers in the Giro yet he seemed shunned by the press. He was just there. He was English yet a...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. Sharknado made an AMAZING drinking game with the VMH. Simply AMAZING. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. I’m still unsure what Strava has to do with not wearing team kit. But the twatwaffle part is absolutely showing. »

It seemed so easy, when I was young, to decide who to love and who to hate. These days, life is a complicated web of heroic deeds and dark shadows. As we get older, it appears our heroes and villains get mixed up.Fortunately for us, Cycling is about much more than bike racing. It is about loving the machine, submitting ourselves to the cathedral ...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. Simple Green is indeed, awesome. But the plain green stuff can cause hydrogen embrittlement in metal parts. They make a specialized formula for the aerospace industry that doesn’t do that. Simple Green 13406 Extreme Aircraft and Precision Cleaner is what… »

There is nothing going on right now, oh right, except the Tour of Poland. Can we talk?I don’t think it’s just Frank and myself who are obsessed with the Hour Record. It is Hard Man cycling distilled into its purest form, the ultimate race of truth. During the first week of Tour de France madness Fabian Cancellara made it official he wa...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. @wiscot @wiscot Pfft. Dry hump with one and lick the other. That’s the beauty of having two. »

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet man...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. @Marcus You dirty bugger. »

This is possibly the most offensive piece of gear I have encountered on a bike. Do you really need a little orange wand to tell you what gear you’re in? There is only one gear to be in: the hardest one at which you can still make the pedals go around in something resembling a circle.These goofy little things were found on the bike I rented la...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. I’m a bit torn. I would like to get a nice bro-set for my N which is currently festooned with those very Tiagra shifters, but I also want to get an N+1 to go MtBing with the VMH. The question then… which do I do *first*? »

There are lots of things to like about Vroomie Froomie, like his willingness to accept the fact that people are inclined to question his performances. Aside from me resenting him for leading a Tour which everyday becomes a little less exciting, he seems quite a likable guy; he is polite, respectful of the sport, wears team-issue bibs with his yell...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. What team does Cuddles ride for? I can’t quite tell under all the sponsor mess. ;) »

How can we not talk about the Tour? After Sunday’s stage it’s hard not to be a little excited. Until yesterday the most thrilling thing I had seen was Mark Cavendish’s mad man chase back to the peloton after a late-in-the-race crash. He needed to get back quickly as the race was hurtling toward a sprint finish he was supposed to w...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. @Ivor Campbell I heard similar sentiment from the guy at my LBS. He said they were cool looking, good for aero, but a cast iron bitch to keep maintained. »

  2. Apologies. The angle had me thinking you were committing heresy. I was wrong to doubt. »

  3. @Gianni I know they’re OK on MtBs in certain circumstances, but that’s @frank’s CX bike yes? How does that rule apply to a CX? »

  4. @frank Is that an EPMS there? Or are my eyes deceiving me? »

  5. That Dogma looks like its melting… And why are those Treks painted in Celeste? »

Three things can send me from a deep sleep to sitting bolt upright in bed, gasping in terror. First is the most obvious, which is any dream involving visions of spiders. Second is dreaming of being dragged off or otherwise being aware of impending doom and opening my mouth to scream but having no sound come out. An alternate of this dream is one re...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. I will admit that I have employed the tuck on rides with my pedalwan more as a demonstration of the advantages of a more aero position than anything. Granted, he’s on my old MtB, and I’m on the road bike, but still, he needs to know right? I think the fir… »

June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Edd...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. Mine shall be arriving today if all has gone well. Assuming the Royal post is as or more efficient than our Federal Mail System. One would think they would be, serving at the pleasure of the Queen and all. »

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. I’ll say 37.9895 km. »

Finally, we have Milan-Sanremo. I hope pedale.forcetta is ready to shoot some pictures, especially black and white because it will be cold and possibly wet. Throw in a little wind and a race of this distance will weed out the less hardy. Recently, but not too recently, this race would be won out of a decent size field sprint. And yet, besides Fabs...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. http://youtu.be/M38N0l0rMF0 I didn’t see this posted here, so I thought I’d share. The commentary made me giggle a bit. »

Wellington isn’t renown for its great summers; a mate is always quick to remind me that if the weather was perfect all the time, everyone would want to live here and we’d be overrun by Aucklanders (just like Aussies but not quite dumb enough to live in Canberra). As our summer goes into its last death throes of amazingly calm, sunny, cl...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. To the nth = to the utmost or extreme degree :) »

If I spent half a summer riding with one hand on the tops and one on the hoods, I spent the other half riding with each hand deliberately gripping the hoods differently. As any young Cyclist growing up in the United States in the late 80s, I had a major thing for Greg LeMond.I imagined Greg to be the perfect Cyclist, as youth often does of their...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. @frank Why does Sastre have a binky in those pics? »

My first article on Velominati was to introduce one of my favorite cyclists, Eros Poli. I refered to him as a domestique on the Mercatone-Uno team. This faux pas was properly pointed out much later by @KaffeineKeiser, a commenter who suddenly surfaced and unfortunately submerged just as quickly, like Das Boot in the Straits of Gibraltar.*I do tak...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. Where he spent 12 hours hauling the coal cars up and down the mine via a chain gripped in his teeth. »

I don’t have to tell anyone around here that @Cyclops is weird guy; most of you have already figured that out, and if you haven’t figured it out, you will soon enough. But weird doesn’t have any negative meaning, if you ask me. In fact, I’d say we’re all weird which makes normal more suspect. Several years ago, long be...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. This is where we say Bel Mezzo yes? That’s a heck of a nice ride you made. How does it ride? »

There was no clear indication that Rick’s car had actually come to a complete stop. It wasn’t that the car hadn’t stopped its forward trajectory – it had – it was just that the car hadn’t actually stopped moving. Long after the vehicle had come to rest in what could only be considered a legitimate parking spot by...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. @Tartan1749 They should have used a wooden bike. Maybe something in Bamboo to accent the wooden car. »

@scaler911 likes beer and pizza, as we all do. I bet Jensie does too. He races more, we drink more, he has to finish each stage at the Tour, us, not so much. There must be a balance to all our cycling lives. Since we don’t have to earn a living racing we can relax a bit but this word “relax” maybe where the trouble lies.Yours in C...

@Lordmoos3's posts:

  1. Like “Ah hell, I just stepped in some Armstrong. That’ll take forever to get out of my cleats.”? »

  2. Apologies, I had missed it whilst perusing. I was pretty close though :) I must have absorbed some wisdom over time. »

  3. Submitted for your approval after inspiration struck me during intervals on the trainer this evening. Our father which art in Belgium,  Eddy be thy name.  thy pave come thy V be done on road as it is on trainers.  Give us this day, our daily V and forgiv… »