Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Marcus

Order: Velominati +1 Contributor

Location: Melbourne

Social: Website /

Likes (in no particular order) riding his bike, racing his bike and arguing about cycling on the web. Has been known to adopt a contrary stance to his own just to start or continue an argument. When racing, has been described as looking like 6 million dollars - in that he appears to ride in slow motion, like Steve Austin. Most significant item in his palmares is overtaking Phil Anderson on Beach Road.

@Marcus's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @frank Alaska??? »

We continue our Six Days of the Giro series with a look at the troubled bond between Marco Pantani and the Giro.Some were meant to be tormented, as though it were preordained that their brilliance should be balanced with fatal flaws. These are tortured souls, whose dramatic highs are equalled only by the devastating depths of their lows. Continu...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @Bianchi Denti probably dipped his toes in the doping water in 2004?? He was about 12 years old and won just about everything on the calendar – and the way he won! The little fucker must have been swimming in it! »

  2. @LA Dave +infinity and beyond. Nicely put Dave. »

  3. @TBONE think I was 2 Ulles to 1 Ully. Did the black forest gateaux crumbs get on your screen again? »

  4. @frank still possibly the best tour ever. Since LeMond/Fignon anyway. That TT (the warm up in the aircon – how pissed off would COTHO have been that he didnt think of that?), Vino’s attacks and stage win, COTHO in the fields, Mayo dishing it out, Hamilton… »

  5. @frank @Gianni there is a vignette in that Dan Coyle book about COTHO’s ’05 season. COTHO is talking about bumping into Der Kaiser somewhere – after Armstrong has beaten him hands down. Ully comes over and gives him a hug. The thing that reveals characte… »

  6. @Deakus hey fuckwit-it was me who raised the “offensive” regarding the use of ‘tard, and it was only in conversation with @ChrisO. The other guy had a problem with the use of “fag”. I am stupider for having read your post. »

  7. @ChrisO I find the suffix ‘tard extremely offensive. But fuck, who am i to complain? I must say though, having ridden a dirty tri bike a bit lately, I have noticed a lot of roadies suddenly develop a pathological need to re-pass you if you pass them. Far… »

  8. @ChrisO Just like we can mark Pantani’s decline from the the day he was booted from the Giro, maybe people will identify a tipping point in the history of Velominati as the day when someone on this site somehow connected Justin Bieber with Il Pirata. »

Rule #31 was conceived out of necessity, aesthetics and plain good taste.  Seeing an oversized saddle bag hanging limply by velcro under a Flite, Arione or Regal just isn’t right.  Frame pumps, while they undoubtedly do the finest job of inflating a tube, add nothing but bulk and clutter to the lines of a frame (and aren’t compatibl...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @Ron Exactly the same thing happened to my silver one – seems like the material just failed where packed items had corners… »

We continue our Six Days of the Giro series with a look at the troubled bond between Marco Pantani and the Giro.Some were meant to be tormented, as though it were preordained that their brilliance should be balanced with fatal flaws. These are tortured souls, whose dramatic highs are equalled only by the devastating depths of their lows. Continu...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @TBONE so you were on the phantoms in a crosswind? Clever. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @thebaron Ha! Correct. Campy wheels and a Shimano groupset is like putting a pledge pin on your uniform. »

  2. @thebaron cant quite tell, but it looks like you have Shimano hoods and a campy wheelset??? I got some sick in my mouth. Your tyres dont match and for gods sake tuck up those pyjamas (sorry, channeling Doug Neidermeyer) – I meant to say cut the steerer t… »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @Dr C reckon Evans Tour was very much won because, in part not completely, of his descending skills. Remember when Tommy V ended up in a frenchman’s garage? Evans put Tim into just about everyone that day. In a tight GT descending skills count. A certs… »

  2. @DocBrian Such an Australian biased fanboy furphy that Evans has the highest VO2 max ever recorded. He may have had the highest ever recorded at the AIS at one time, but thats about it. I recall Evans measured about 85. Compare that to Indurain 88, LeM… »

  3. @Ron 3rd in Tour of Oman (actually a better quality race and field than you might think) and 8th in Giro del Trentino. Hardly a season to set the world on fire, but whatever that virus was, it seems to have knocked the stuffing out of him. Am guessing h… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @Beers short/medium/long cage all to do with the amount of chain length being engaged on teeth and the need for chain tension. If you run a compact on the front and are sitting in some of your smaller cogs on the back, a short cage isnt going to “angle” … »

There are always at least two ways to accomplish any task: properly and improperly. Drinking beer from a glass, not the bottle; carrying a full umbrella instead of a miniature fold-up; stirring your gin martinis, not shaking them; wearing french cuffs with a suit, not button cuffs. The Velominatus, of course, is drawn towards doing things Properly,...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @sthilzy one thing you shouldnt do re: leaning bikes against cars: when putting your bike in the car, dont remove your front wheel, lean it against rear car tyre then put bike in car. If you are stupid and dazed after a race, you run the risk of forgettin… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @brett guess that rules out cheese for you too? »

There are always at least two ways to accomplish any task: properly and improperly. Drinking beer from a glass, not the bottle; carrying a full umbrella instead of a miniature fold-up; stirring your gin martinis, not shaking them; wearing french cuffs with a suit, not button cuffs. The Velominatus, of course, is drawn towards doing things Properly,...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @frank you sound like you have spent some alone time in front of the mirror, Silence of the Lambs style. The VMH should get very worried if you ever tell say, “it puts the lotion on the skin…” »

  2. @frank i have a 595 with almost the same paintjob and i lurv it. But i wouldnt know a spongy front end from a very unspongey one. They just look cool. I have ridden mine pretty drunk though. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @frank Dont even start on the difference between practice and practise. Not only is it confusing enough (over here, the S is the verb and the C is the noun – as in “Frank, you should practise writing more often”), the soap-challenged ones use it in the… »

There are always at least two ways to accomplish any task: properly and improperly. Drinking beer from a glass, not the bottle; carrying a full umbrella instead of a miniature fold-up; stirring your gin martinis, not shaking them; wearing french cuffs with a suit, not button cuffs. The Velominatus, of course, is drawn towards doing things Properly,...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @frank the benefit is that standing your bike on its pedal looks fucking cool. But not even that would help the monstrosity far left above. If I was @Dan_R I would be very upset about the damage you have done to his wheel brand. The LOOK 595 is the busin… »

  2. Leaning the bike on its inside pedal with the crank facing rearward is also a very solid (but possibly advanced) option. »

There is something to love about a race that makes a deviation to its route for the simple joy of sending a fleet of professional riders up a fiendishly steep and narrow ramp. The Cote du Stockeu offers zero benefit to the route from a logistical standpoint – in fact, all it does is complicate things. On the way down from the Cote de Wanne &#...

@Marcus's posts:

  1. @Deakus except Rogers will be riding for Contador. Do you touch yourself when you think about Team Sky? »