Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: Mike_P

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Surrey, UK

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47 years young, loving husband, devoted father of two fabulous young boys, totally untalented but slightly obsessive cyclist since rediscovering the joy of the bike a few years ago. I work in the pharmaceutical industry but no, I'm not a drug dealer (as I was introduced at a party once) and no I can't hook you up with some EPO (I've been asked).

@Mike_P's activity:

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. Well, I’ve got even less of a clue than usual, but here goes… »

  2. Well, I’ve got even less of a clue than usual, but here goes… VSP PICKS: 1. Tejay the Gardener 2. Malmerde 3. Purito 4. Dan Martin 5. Simon Gerrans »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @ChrisO PHEW! »

  2. I’ve just noticed the rider second in line behind @ChrissyOne, adjusting his Oakley’s for the photo. Good job you didn’t feather your brakes Chrissy. »

  3. @ChrisO So herein lies a quandary, cos you’ve just suggested that all of us who ride in V Kit are douches. But I’m fairly confident that’s not quite what you were getting at, I hope. »

It’s no secret that I’m prone to riding in the big ring as much as possible, mostly on account of my not being a giant sissy. In accordance with the ISO Non-Sissy Standard, I also never read instruction manuals or ask for directions when lost. I make sure to only rarely ask my VMH to turn up the radio when Adele comes on, usually follo...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. All true and there’s some sage advice hidden in here.  I moved to traditional bend bars last year and haven’t looked back, but am still not as low at the front as I’d like to be. Just can’t get my neck to be comfortable on rides over two hours.  »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @Chris Good lord, have you got your magnifying glass out?? »

  2. There was an interesting radio piece on the BBC in the UK this morning (the Radio 4 Today programme at 07:45 if anyone wants to download the online version), discussing the good health of the British bespoke frame industry…rising from the ashes of the m… »

  3. @Barracuda That’s looking like a close call on the value question.  Sure you don’t need to pop your N2 up there also? »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. My heart is screaming for Tommeke to take it, but given his recent personal setbacks I think it may be a week too soon for him to build from the Ronde; but what the heck do I know? He’s getting my vote simply for being His Awesomeness Tom Boonen. Merckx,… »

The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinnin...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @frank Too right.  I thought it was simply me being Too Fat To Climb that meant the only way I could get power was on the drops. Tried it lastnight on a dark training ride, more to get out of traffic harms way asap than anything else, but it certainly … »

  2. Brilliant @Gianni.  Your first paragraph sums up my attempts at climbing almost perfectly.  I’ll never forget my first mountain trip a few years ago when I realised I was talking out loud to myself on the Tourmalet and was saying “why did I bring this who… »

I had always imagined that de Ronde van Vlaanderen must be hardest race in the world. The way I worked it out – having never ridden the course of either event at the time – was that de Ronde had the same cobbles as Roubaix, but with 20% grades thrown in. It makes enough sense so long as you don’t know what you’re talking abo...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @dissolved Top marks!  Greatest respect to you. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @andrew Great stuff.  Well done, and sounds like you enjoyed it too.  Bonus. »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. I came 4th?!  Wow, there is a lot to be said for the “close eyes and point at the start list” school of picking winners. »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. Greg V-an Avermaet ! Man, he emptied the locker.  I never expected the win for him,  after hurting himself for so long, but he deserves a great deal of respect for that ride. As for next weekend in P-R.  I can’t wait !!! »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Van Dijk 2. Armitstead 3. Johnansson 4. Stevens 5. Pieters »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. Unlikely, but at least I’m on time this week. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Tommeke 3. Faboo 4. Degenkolb 5. Van Avermaet »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Brilliant. I can almost hear him recounting the story on Call My Bluff. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @Gianni Are you seriously telling us you’re surprised?  They’ve built a career on this type of cock-up.  I don’t think I’ll ever forget the image of the Dirty Schlecky’s escorting Phil Gil to the line in the 2011 Liege Bastogne Liege.  It has to be the … »

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @Chris That second photo has got to be fodder for a caption competition! As for Stannard, it’s looking like Sky may be headed for another consistently poor Classics season. »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. @Overijse you simply have to explain that chainring and gearing! »

  2. Great public service article @Frank.  Liking the idea of that reflective tape if it’s almost invisible in normal light.   By the way, I’m so pleased to hear that you managed to resurrect your beloved R3 and having ridden my new model for some time now (re… »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. Fuck, bollox, bugger . Offline for a week only to realise I’ve double Delgado’d.  The shame of it. »

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@Mike_P's posts:

  1. I utterly failed to unclip  in time and took an embarrassing timmmbbbbeerrrr in the final quiz. 3 to finish with.  Already looking forward to next season. »