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Velominatus: Mrs Engine

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Callander Scotland UK

Social: Website

Put upon wife of 3 or 4 children (if you include the husband). Did have a previous life of sex, drugs, rock & roll and travel before I succumbed to the "charms" of present husband (things can change in an instant!!) Likes: nights out with the girls, staying in with the girls, talking to the girls. BUT... I do like watching sport (live or on telly), participating in boxercise, a wee bit cycling (to the cafe and back for coffee with the girls) making stained glass & jewellery. AND general berating of present husband for his obsession with That ******g Bike

@Mrs Engine's activity:

I recently overheard someone say that there is no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothing. This is the kind of statement that makes me want to hate people as a species a little bit. Of course there such a thing as bad weather. There are also bad people (loads of them), bad ideas (even bigger loads of them), bad advice (especially on the inter...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Camper than a row of tents!! »

  2. Jeez, you lot are worse than Joan Rivers and the Fashion Police on E! News.  Quote; @AI_S,  Problem with most bib tights is that they’re just so garish – Dahling!  OOH, what is a a boy to wear? Leg warmers on, or leg warmers off? To thermal or not to ther… »

  3. @Marcus Oi! Dont you be dissing Scotland, boy!   »

  4. @strathlubnaig Doon the River Teith.. »

  5. @Teocalli  Anytime, just bring a 20 tog duvet cause that container gets very cold at this time of year. »

  6. @the Engine is going to need a bigger wardrobe if he starts to get anymore kit. Winter, summer spring! Jeez. Am thinking we are gonna need a shipping container in the back garden to keep it all in. Actually that’s a great idea cause then he could live in … »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. Yep, quite fancy him myself!   The top ten ‘Lycra lads’ This is the list of the most handsome cyclists in the 2012 Tour according to the research. Although he was the top pick, French rider Amael Moinard (pictured), finished in a modest 45th place. 2. Y… »

  2.   So who does this apply to on the Velominati – photos please. Faster cyclists are more attractive, study says By Matt McGrathEnvironment correspondent, BBC News Bradley Wiggins won the Tour in 2012 but wasn’t included in the survey on attractiveness Succ… »

  3. @the Engine, Mechanical Muppet – thats not what they called you.  If I remember rightly the words arsehole and complete tool were used in the sentence. »

  4. @gianni,@strathlubnig  We are going to Turkey now and be dammed!  The kids and I cant wait and will love it.  Will take extra band aids for Ivor to put on the punctures.  Of course as soon as it was decided it turns that there is a Turkish Tour too (why w… »

  5. Right, you will be please to hear that the divorce is off,  for the moment.  Turkey for 3 weeks it is, near a village called Sogut. Its in the hills, near a river, near a lake, not far from the beach. Lots of history, stinking hot and cheap wine. Ticks al… »

  6. @@mrs engine  oh, and I dont need the body flown home either! »

  7. @strathlubnaig It ticked all the boxes for me and for everything else.  He will just have to go out on a mountain bike instead and you know how much he loves that!  His travel insurance is all up to date as is his payout upon death. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. @wiscot I think she’s been far too nice! »

  2. @wiscot   I have just seen this posting and  am in awe of @Mrs W’s prose.Although, what do you say when your partners arse DOES look extremely big cause he aint a stick man and the kids refuse to bring their friends round to the house cause Dads got the l… »

He didn’t really want to be awake at this hour, but it was the only way. Or one of them, at least. Because he wanted to spend more time with her, he would rise before the sun, making use of the small window between their entwined slumber and the dirge of another day at the office. But still she saw those stolen hours as time he could be spend...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. @Mike_P Chocolates and maybe see if there are beauty rooms nearby and pay for a wee relaxing massage!! You know she’s worth it…. »

  2. @the Engine If you get your mouth off the straw it it lets in light!! »

  3. @frank Aye well, stranger things have happened and no one has noticed the new decking yet..  Its turning 50 that does it. »

  4. I am noticing that @the engine has not said anything. Just as well or I will let his tyres down. »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. @the Engine You wish! »

  2. @the Engine  Thats always been your problem though.  Just look at the bag you took on holiday JUST for your cycling kit! Jaysus…… »

  3. I’m sorry, but when you start to look like a camel (@ the engine) then maybe the time has come to get a small EPMS. »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. 8 points!! Well I’m pleased! »

  2. If I win, please can I have a spa week away somewhere warm instead,  without @ the Engine? VSP PICKS: 1. Candelabra 2. Froomebroom 3. Sagan 4. Vockler 5. Ten Dam »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@Mrs Engine's posts:

  1. @Chris Cause he was gonna have a night on the tiles……. »