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Velominatus: PeakInTwoYears

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Back on the bike after 25 years of gradschoolkidsworkmarriagedivorcelotsofboozerunningrockclimbingflyfishing and, now, a partner who loves to ride. Even in my youth I was never more than a Cat 4 who was Too Fat To Climb, but now at 50 I've rediscovered the transcendence of time spent in the saddle.

@PeakInTwoYears's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @RobSandy Right. It would be for the kinds of uses described by the original interlocutor hereinbefore. Re locks and the Rules, in my opinion some things are so obvious as to make redundant any discussion of them. »

  2. @RobSandy That Hiplok looks clever. I don’t have a need for a lock, but if I ever move back to civilization I’d give it a try. »

If we liked breathing stale, recycled air, we’d all take up a sport like wrestling or indoor fly-fishing. But we love the feel of a gale on our faces. We cherish the smell of cow manure filling our nostrils with its almost tangible grittiness. We hold scared the privilege to breathe in diesel fuel while doing hill repeats up l’Alpe d...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Buck, thanks! It’s blowing 50km/h on the Peninsula today, so I did my little interval session indoors. That was a stewpidhard-looking climb. »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @Giles And the nice spectator lady in white standing ankle deep in shit. Fucking awesome. »

  2. Cap under helmet in the rain, just to keep the lenses clearer. Otherwise no, because I’ve realized that since I can still grow some hair I might as well have a bit of insulation up there in winter. »

The Post-Ride Recovery Drink has never tasted better than it does when enjoyed from the V-Pint. Look deep into your heart and contemplate the awesome symmetry as the V-Cog reveals itself to you at the bottom of the glass; then pour another. Earnest seeker: Drink and ye shall find.Remember: be a good cycling ambassador and always represent La Vie V...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @frank Awesome. »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. It appears that someone got an early start on some variety of noble grape.  Nonetheless, this is an important topic, and I’m curious about the environmental conditions under which one hears the Hum betterly or worsely. If one played the guitar, let’s say,… »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @Nate “Mork and Mindy” meets “Twin Peaks.” »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @ChrissyOne Cool pic of a pretty bike in a fantastic room! »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Moving to Portland, then, are you? There’s a ‘cross racer there who could be your ‘stache sensei. »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @frank You’re welcome. I know you have a soft spot for a go-tard. »

  2. Arse-in’ Go-tard? »

  3. @Buck Rogers Buck, that’s fabulous. Hope it’s the beginning of a beautiful friendship. But, “Gotard”? Are you quite sure he’s not having you on? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @pistard Thank you for this correction. »

  2. @Gianni Fuck yes. Next time I cross the Strait I’m going after a pint of this. They make good beer up there. Not as good as Seattle nor (obviously) as good as Portland, but good. Loving my BC neighbors. »

Sharing the road with cars is mostly a losing proposition. It’s hard to share when your vehicle weighs 8 kgs and the other guy’s is 800 kgs. If we have to share we have to let go and that is not easy, as @Kevin Wilkins explains. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Chrissy, that’s Buck saying that to you. Chapeau. »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. I always thought it was enough to reach down the front of my bibs as I was coming in through the door to tuck my dick down behind my chamois. »

I’ve never been to Africa before, although I’m not sure Cape Town counts as “Africa”. One thing I noticed is that everyone here is very skinny. I also noticed that the meal proportions served at restaurants are very modest. That shows the difference between prevention and treatment when dealing with obesity; whereas in the U...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @wiscot You don’t have to leave the continental US for cougars. They’re all over in the PNW, including right in our freaking neighborhood. And there you are on your bike, looking for all the world to that cougar like venison. Just recently a friend got… »

  2. And from a strictly Darwinian point of view, if I impregnate a bunch of women and a passel o’ my young ‘uns goes on to reproduce et cetera and in finitum, I’m FIT. Even if I look like the Hindenburg before the flames and oh the humanity. »

  3. And if he deigns to respond to that, I know exactly how he will and will post proof of it after the fact. »

  4. @Ccos I find it hard to imagine Frank keeping that low a profile. »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. That Giro stuff looks awesome for commuting or riding to and from the pub. For an actual “ride,” I want to look my best, even if I’m riding alone, even if I’m a fat little middle-aged fucktard–“best” being quite relative. »

I’ve never been to Africa before, although I’m not sure Cape Town counts as “Africa”. One thing I noticed is that everyone here is very skinny. I also noticed that the meal proportions served at restaurants are very modest. That shows the difference between prevention and treatment when dealing with obesity; whereas in the U...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @DeKerr Good god. They’re running and carrying double kayaks. I will not be able to un-see that. »

Sharing the road with cars is mostly a losing proposition. It’s hard to share when your vehicle weighs 8 kgs and the other guy’s is 800 kgs. If we have to share we have to let go and that is not easy, as @Kevin Wilkins explains. Yours in Cycling, Gianni Continue reading...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. It has always appeared to me that the kind of compensatory violence we’re talking about is motivated by feelings of frustration, powerlessness, confusion, inadequacy, or some toxic combination of these toxins. People who are happy do not do these kinds o… »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@PeakInTwoYears's posts:

  1. @LA Dave Oh, FFS. »