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Velominatus: Ryan

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Fair Oaks, CA

@Ryan's activity:

@Ryan's posts:

  1. I think winter is the best time for shaved guns. Belgian knee warmers feel fantastic, real knee warmers feel better, & nothing feels better than a pair of slacks or chinos over freshly shaved guns. Even though they can’t be seen, you know they’re ther… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. @KW  Yeah, I give him a pass on the nose candy. No way that helps you ride any better & it was not in competition. I love the Northern Classics & there are no harder men today than Spartacus & Tommeke. Much respect for those guys »

  2. Btw, Tommeke is the baddest motherfucker in the bunch. He’s so hard, he doesn’t even wear gloves when riding De Ronde & P-R. He should have a wallet like Jules in Pulp Fiction »

  3. By my way of thinking, the pros are all hardmen (Schleck the younger excepted) otherwise they would not be pros. Pros get a pass on any violations simply because they get paid to ride & we don’t. Being a pro is inherently transcendent. If you get popp… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. Having been a hood ornament with a taco’d front wheel to show for it, as well as crashed by a foolish non-cyclist riding on the wrong side of my local bike trail, I can say, unequivocally: the only truly safe road is one that’s closed, generally for a rac… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. @frank Agree with Frahnk that, on it’s surface, American Flyers is a steaming pile of 80s garbage. However, that is part of its awesomeness. How can you not fondly remember that era when watching it? The sheer dearth of fictional stories having anythin… »

  2. @zeitzmar Just buy her a proper helmet. Agreed that “skater-type helmets” are an abomination on a road bike. I’ve never met a woman who would turn down a gifted piece of clothing, shoes, or the like. I’m sure cycling helmets & your girl fit this max… »

  3. @Wah-Balls  I have it on DVD & it is all kinds of awesome. Once you’ve got it up, keep it up!! I regularly rotate that, Breaking Away, & A Sunday in Hell »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. For me Rule #58 is, by far, the hardest to abide by. I have a very hard time choking down double the cost of a part in service of supporting the LBS. It’s also very annoying to try to talk to some kid half my age who only cares about MTB or FGFS who I’ve f… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. Once upon a time (before parenthood), I rode at least 4-5 days per week & at least 250km per week. Nowadays, it’s usually only once a week. Sometimes I think I should just skip it & blow the froth off a few Belgian ales instead. Even though I’m no… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. Drive a truck & use a Thule Insta-gater rack: »

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues of goin...

@Ryan's posts:

  1. @Nate Very cool. I have several very old friends who live in that area. I’m in Sacto myself. Next time I go down to visit, I’ll msg you & we can see if Gianni’s right about you ripping my legs off! »

  2. @Nate btw, what part of CA are you in anyway? »

  3. @Nate  It’s painfully cliche, but that actually did make me Laugh Out Loud. Cheers brother, nothing but love here. Tubbies or tubeless :-) »

  4. You guys can hate & bust balls all you want about me saying “dude” & espousing the virtues of tubeless. I’m 40 & from California. We say dude here. Tubeless gives you most, if not all, the benefits of both tubs & clinchers. Those are the f… »

  5. @Nate I’ve got to call bullshit on that dude. Most wheel manufacturers also include a Dork Disc & even reflectors on their wheels. Does that mean you use those??? Warnings against tubeless conversion are strictly a liability issue. I can state unequiv… »

  6. @Ron  there are several types of tape that will allow conversion of a standard clincher rim to tubeless. Of course, Stan’s sells tape to do it, as does AmericanClassic. I’ve even done it the cheap way & used Gorilla tape procured at Home Depot. it req… »

  7. Being a Velominatus, I am inherently keen on tradition & cycling history. However, I cannot see why one would run tubs unless blessed with a support vehicle. I personally detest tubes with all that is in me. Traditional clinchers or tubs are both subj… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. This is all kinds of awesome. I can only hope that my kids (4 y/o & 2 y/o) will be bitten by the same bug we’ve all been felled by & take to loving this glorious sport as much as their Daddy. Very cool guest article! »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. I call ‘em like I see ‘em. Let’s be honest. Most Americans woefully lack self awareness. Common sense is decidedly uncommon. I work in hospitals, often needing to transport hundreds of pounds of equipment & implants via had cart. I’ve nearly crushed m… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. I read that review. Two words for that slap-dick motherfucker: DOUCHE & BAG »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. @KW, One of the wisest pieces of advice I’ve ever been given is this, “It is far better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission.”  After riding for several years Chewbacca-style, I began shaving after being punished for straying from the road on an… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. @Chris You don’t even know me douchebag, let alone how copious my V account is. Having worked in Orthopaedics for in excess of 10 years, I can assure you that potential knee damage resulting from pushing larger gears is given much more blame for injury th… »

  2. Even mentioning riding a compact Rule V violation, at least that’s how I read The Rules. As in everything else relating to setup of one’s steed(s), we should look to the Professional’s & Merckx for guidance. How many hatdmen of the peloton roll anythi… »

@Ryan's posts:

  1. We all have differing means at our disposal. Those that can roll Record, Red or the like, Merckx bless you. Reading this, I kept recalling two of the truest things I’ve ever heard regarding cycling: The Prophet once said, “Don’t buy upgrades, ride up grad… »