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Velominatus: Steampunk

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Dundas, ON

Social: Website /

In never-ending search for la volupté, Steampunk is an unreconstructed Canadian west coaster transplanted to Ontario, where he rides on every opportunity and sometimes shows up to work as a professor of history. He is a careful student of the Rules and la vie Velominatus, but is not beyond (occasionally) distilling them down to a single path: la vie Cognoscentus. The BFGs are always locked and loaded (that sound you just heard was your soul being crushed by their power). On a more serious note, he is a staunch advocate of commuting by bike and he also fundraises for Bikes to Rwanda.

@Steampunk's activity:

I have a huge capacity for watching bike racing on TV. I’ll watch hours of it even when nothing is really happening. I’m certainly not bragging. So I’m quite certain I could sit in the cramped, possibly smokey, noisy, Gent velodrome and watch an evening of six-day racing. I bet the ratio of men to women (who actually want to be th...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @freddy Café Domestique should have a kiosk in the Milton velodrome. Delays in construction mean my certification for the track got pushed back to January. The consolation is that I was given free tix to the national track championships. Also this: Just … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @wilburrox This. I still think the CAAD remains the best and most versatile entry-level bike. Start out with Tiagra to save a few shillings. Serviceable muckabout and commuter, but also fleet if you’re trying to lay down some V. »

  2. @kixsand Marinoni is the real deal. You can read about his hour attempt here: I see a Marinoni track bike in my short-term future. Painted gold, à la Fausto Coppi Legnano on wh… »

I have an idea. If Mr Cookson and the UCI are eager to lift women’s cycling up, why not sponsor a women’s race for each of the Monuments of the sport? A Giro di Lombardia Féminin would be a much better end to the season than the Chrono Des Nations. Each Monument would have an earlier start time than the men’s, a slightly shorter...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. A. Solovey 2. J. Leth 3. L. Laizane 4. A. Tetrick 5. T. Antoshina »

Attention, this is the final event on the Men’s VSP calendar for 2014. There is one more Women’s event to come. We may already have a winner of this years over-all but the rest of the podium could be up for grabs. @il muro di manayunk has broken away and I’m not sure @steampunk is going to chase him down. Has everyone noticed how...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @xyxax Aww: you remembered!! »

  2. @Rob I can’t comment on contagion rates at those temps, but the Speedplays might allow for greater phlegm float. Strange spike in the weather today—windy but ~20-25c. Cleared the deck of morning responsibilities and got out for a couple of hours. Rides … »

  3. @VeloVita, @Rob, & @xyxax: Philly, Speedplays, and Ebola are three of my favourite things. »

  4. Lay off Philthydelphia. Monk’s Café is one of the finest Belgian beer establishments I’ve visited. That’s got to be worth at least 10 points for @il muro di manayunk to make up for the deficit. I’m loath to add that my last port of call in the US before r… »

  5. @frank So I shouldn’t have burned my current wheels for heat last night? Awkward! »

  6. Thanks, @frank & Keepers for a terrific season of fun. And congrats to @il muro di manayunk for some excellent picks. Back to winter hill repeats for me in preparation for 2015. »

  7. @xyxax He’s got a lot of nerve! »

  8. That Dylan Teuns kid looks good, too. »

  9. @il muro di manayunk There was a moment there when I had four of my five in that small selection and all was well. Then Degenkolb’s helper gassed. No one was about to work to tow the German to the line. And once Demare got back on, Degenkolb wasn’t about… »

  10. Well, that was disappointing from a VSP perspective, but great, dramatic conclusion—and congrats to the Belgian lad. I expect Tommy V would be congratulating him on a terrific race. »

  11. VSP PICKS: 1. J. Degenkolb 2. A. Demare 3. G. Van Avermaet 4. S. Vanmarcke 5. N. Terpstra »

  12. @il muro di manayunk Based on my picks, it boils down to my nailing 3-5 to be within a stone’s throw for the women’s Chrono. »

  13. VSP PICKS: 1. J. Degenkolb 2. A. Demare 3. S. Vanmarcke 4. N. Terpstra 5. R. Feillu »

Life is full of surprises. Some you don’t want, like a funnel web in a shoe, while others are completely unexpected but more than welcome, even if you are then left with figuring out the hows, whys and HOW?s of the serendipitous conundrum now presented to you.This is how I now feel, after fate knocked at my door via a source that doesn’...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Sigh. And then there’s this: »

I’m getting too old and cranky for all this race schedule changing. I know they already did this last year and presumably I had the same gripings then, but Lombardia is supposed to close out the season and I’m downright angry that Paris-Tours is closing out the books now; it only seems right that one of the most beautiful races should...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Paging former Strack favourites: Schleck? Schleck? A. Schleck? Did Andy even finish a sentence this year? Although, I do take @frank’s point. The bigger story is he cracked and cramped. Responsibility of the rainbows persuaded him to fini… »

  2. @frank Are we foregoing the Women’s Chrono des Nations? »

  3. @il muro di manayunk Too much watching wheels. Not enough attacking. »

  4. As a thank you for animating races all season, I would love to see De Marchi hold off the peloton… »

  5. My guess is it’ll be rank outsiders. Davide Formolo showed well in Montreal. Wish I had the stones to pick Gallopin to win. I like that guy. VSP PICKS: 1. A. Valverde 2. J. Rodriguez 3. A. Contador 4. P. Gilbert 5. T. Gallopin »

The Heck of the North is a Gravel Classic held in Northern Minnesota. The course is about 185 kilometers long, approximately 75% gravel/dirt road, with 15 kilometers of trail and as little pavement as needed to make it all come together.The front few groups of this race go for the win, while the rest of the field simply enjoy a fun day out on the...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. The Heck of the North is a Gravel Classic held in Northern Minnesota. The course is about 185 kilometers long, approximately 75% gravel/dirt road, with 15 kilometers of trail and as little pavement as needed to make it all come together.

    The front few groups of this race go for the win, while the rest of the field simply enjoy a fun day out on the bike, riding one of the most challenging and exciting routes in the quickly-emerging gravel scene.

    Mixing gravel roads and ATV trails, this race is home to some of the most innovative bicycle concoctions you’ll ever come across, from drop-bar fat bikes to race-tuned Graveur machines. Leave your road machine at home; you’ll need fast 32mm tires at least in order to survive the trail sections.

    More information on the Heck of the North site. Registration is $54 before July 15; $65 before August 15; and $76 until September 15. Registration ends September 15 or once the 400 rider limit is met.

    The Heck of the North is not a Cogal, but Velominati is a sponsor of the event and will be providing exclusive prizes. See you there.

    Official site:

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date - October 04, 2014
    12:00 AM - 4:00 PM

    Castle Danger Brewery (Two Harbors MN)

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

You can only spend so much time with the Schlecks before you start talking like them, and the fabulous Fabs seems to have crossed the threshold. I’ve heard more complaining from him this season than I have talk about pushing harder on the pedals or going steady up with more speed or going full gas like everyone else, but just doing it for ...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Minnesota Expat Now that you mention it, I’ve never liked Gerrans. His smile, perhaps? »