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Velominatus: Steampunk

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Dundas, ON

Social: Website /

In never-ending search for la volupté, Steampunk is an unreconstructed Canadian west coaster transplanted to Ontario, where he rides on every opportunity and sometimes shows up to work as a professor of history. He is a careful student of the Rules and la vie Velominatus, but is not beyond (occasionally) distilling them down to a single path: la vie Cognoscentus. The BFGs are always locked and loaded (that sound you just heard was your soul being crushed by their power). On a more serious note, he is a staunch advocate of commuting by bike and he also fundraises for Bikes to Rwanda.

@Steampunk's activity:

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @wiscot Bang on. I feel a bit badly for Nibali, because history will always put an asterisk beside this win (assuming he can hold on). But you don’t fluke into a TdF win, and what’s all the more disappointing is that he’s got that look in his eye: Froom… »

  2. 1. Secret’s out: Tony Gallopin is a total stud. 2. I like this Lotto Belisol team. A lot. Tim Wellens is going to be terrific, too. 3. Best kit in the peloton to boot? »

  3. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. V. Nibali 2. R. Porte 3. J. Van den Broeck 4. A. Valverde 5. R. Bardet »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Rabo-Liv in places 1, 2, & 3?? That is one insanely strong team. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @tessar The rest of the Group-san is 6600, so there’s a symmetry there. Ultegra’s good stuff. I tend to abide by the law of diminishing returns in most things cycling related. But the ride? Butter!! »

  2. @Bespoke Will do. Next summer: tubeless? Yea or nay? »

  3. Post-Ontario Cogal 3.0, I discovered I had a cracked rim (that could be a euphemism, but nevertheless…). Repair vs. replace. Shiny new bike bits built up at the local LBS. Collected them today. In keeping with my affinity for Swedish automotive engineer… »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. So what you’re saying is I’m in the clear now? »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I suspect Froome’s wrist was giving him handling trouble before the day started… »

  2. Froome on the deck again. »

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. With all this new technology and bike cams enlivening the spectacle of cycling racing, I’d like to propose an addition for tomorrow’s stage: a camera in Wiggins’s living room, so we can get a real time response as he watches Froome struggle on the cobbles… »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. P. Ferrand-Prevot 2. M. Abbot 3. A. Van der Breggen 4. M. Vos 5. A. Moolman »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. A. Contador 2. C. Froome 3. J. Van den Broeck 4. A. Valverde 5. V. Nibali »

Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local h...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  3. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  4. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  5. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  6. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  7. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

I’m not even talking about all the pseudo-asthmatics out there, vaping their way to better breathing. My breathing is just fine. It’s my little citron sized heart that is slowing me down. Is there a street-legal injection or vacuum pump for heart enlargement, or a trip to a doctor in the Congo that would transplant a badass Mandrill heart for m...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Espresso: less caffeine than most coffee drinks. And easier on the stomach. These are good things. And why the espresso is so connected to cycling. I remember someone telling me you’d have to knock back five espressi (or was it regular coffees, with more … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Fitness is not about how fast, how far, or how long. It’s about always finding oneself in the right gear. Fitness is not about heart rate, lungs, or guns. It is when one unconsciously knows that this gear will be good for the entire ride, regardless of th… »

Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local h...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. Winter’s frost is finally relinquishing its tight grasp of the Great White North, which means it’s time for the third annual Ontario Cogal. Starting with the finest espresso and finishing with fine local brews at the galaxy’s finest cycling café, Domestique Café Cyclo-Sportif in Dundas, Ontario, the ride will take on the local hills, including Sydenham, Snake Road, and Rattlesnake Point.

    Here is the route.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 22, 2014
    9:30 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Café Domestique

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Tour de Suisse can be everyone’s warm-up for the Tour de France, including all you VSP dreamers. The big show seems to be the Critérium de Dauphanié this year, as far as Tour de France contenders go but the Tour de Suisse still has some big guns showing up. Twiggo is here, not for a Tour warm up, unless people are worried about Richie P...

@Steampunk's posts:

  1. @wiscot Sure, but with that look in his eye, he was a distant second. »

  2. @wiscot Tell me Coppi hasn’t already won: »