Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: The Oracle

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin

36 years old, long-time mountain biker whose lack of proximity to any decent trails has "forced" me to take up road cycling in the past 3 years. Even before I found this site, "la vie velominatus" had called out to me , and imagine my delight at finding a place that gives expression to my as-yet-unvoiced thoughts!

@The Oracle's activity:

We’re heaping coals on the Giro frenzy that’s burning in all corners of the Cycling world by issuing the second installment of the monthly BigRingRiding Sur la Plaque series while at the same time kicking off the Six Days of the Giro series where we’ll post six articles on the subject of this, the best Grand Tour of the year. Y...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. Been on some job interviews lately, and I ensure that I’m fully compliant the morning before each one.  It puts me in fighting form for the day, ready to slay the dragons both on and off the road. »

Yes it is a race named after a barely drinkable Dutch beer. I have enjoyed Amstel beer, brought to our table by a nice waitress, sitting outside in the Dutch spring. Atmosphere is everything. Do the Dutch brew awesome beer? I drank some good stuff in Amsterdam last spring but I’m pretty sure it was Belgian.Now we begin the Ardennes three race...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. My third Delgado in four weeks.  I think I’m going to enjoy the rest of the VSP this year from the sidelines, drinking Maltenis and yelling obscenities. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @Spun Up For what it’s worth, I ride a 2005 5.2 frame that I picked up last year for practically nothing–there’s a non-profit shop in Milwaukee that’s affiliated with Trek, and every year, Trek sends them a bunch of frames that were sitting around in the… »

I’ve been lucky enough to do quite a bit of travelling in my life. As a family, we travelled all over Europe when I was just a lad, and recently I’ve had the opportunity to visit more exotic places like India and Hawaii. What I’ve learned from my travels is that the key to a great experience is to leave your predispositions on t...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears I can’t think of a snappy comeback because I’m mesmerized by your ability to put the accent mark into “Cervelo.” »

  2. @torrefie Holy shitsnacks.  That’s some fine photo-finagling.  You fixed Fronk’s egregious violations AND zapped away all signs of civilization. »

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Spartacus 2. Potato 3. Sagan 4. Van Avermaet 5. Boonen »

I’ve been lucky enough to do quite a bit of travelling in my life. As a family, we travelled all over Europe when I was just a lad, and recently I’ve had the opportunity to visit more exotic places like India and Hawaii. What I’ve learned from my travels is that the key to a great experience is to leave your predispositions on t...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @Spun Up I was referring to both the bidon and the wheels, as well as to the position of the crank, although I understand that that is a bit more controversial.  I hadn’t noticed the dumpster, but now that’s all I can see. Just keeping you on your toe… »

  2. @frank Rule #26, fer fuck’s sake. »

  3. @Buck Rogers That’s life in New York/New Jersey.  I lived in the Bronx for a time during graduate school.  First time I went to the corner bodega to pick up some beers, the newly-minted New Yorker (of recent Dominican ancestry) behind the counter carde… »

  4. All I can say is, thank the lord you all have some tour guides to follow you around and profusely apologize for your idiocy. »

As many of you know, there’s been a lot of synergy between BIGRINGRIDING and Velominati for several years now. Though BRR and Velominati have very different flavors, we work on a similar principle: foster passion for the sport through a mix of knowledge, history, and humor tempered with a healthy dose of irreverence, all while obviously makin...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @Pedale.Forchetta I didn’t know you were in Sheboygan.  Oh…  wait.   Too warm. »

This is the second round of the Women’s World Cup, the first being the Ronde van Drenthe. Laveno Mombello to Cittiglio, 120 km of racing in Italy. It is a very worthy course and we know who will be wearing the number 1 on her jersey. Enough already, I like Ms Vos as much as the next person but someone has to work her over on the climbs and ri...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Johansson 3. Bronzini 4. Armistead 5. Borghini »

Gent (Deinze)-Wevelgem, it starts with 130 km of cruising around Belgium and Northern France followed by a flurry of bergs and then a final 38 km of  flatter riding to the inevitable sprint finish. How hard can the climbing be if Super Mario got over them? Ask the riders from KT 2012, (the ones not in the following car) and they will tell you...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Cav 3. Thor 4. Greipel 5. Goss »

Finally, we have Milan-Sanremo. I hope pedale.forcetta is ready to shoot some pictures, especially black and white because it will be cold and possibly wet. Throw in a little wind and a race of this distance will weed out the less hardy. Recently, but not too recently, this race would be won out of a decent size field sprint. And yet, besides Fabs...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @Ron Please use the pre-approved terminology.  It is called a Cycling Shit Sandwich. Also, I found Bike Snob’s quote about Sagan yesterday somewhat amusing: I’m happy to jump on Sagan’s bandwagon, but given his freakish abilities, let’s just say th… »

  2. I just can’t go with Cavendish this year after I watched him sit up mid-way through the race last year.  Sagan, with his climbing ability, is going to drive the field over the Poggio and leave most of the sprinters in the dust.  But he’ll tire and fall o… »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. Patiently awaiting the day the cufflinks show up in the mail….  I think about them more often than is proper. »

Ok, so you guys and gals don’t miss a trick, but sometimes we do. In fact, we kind of specialize in it. @Bianchi Denti just texted me to point out, as others have done on site, that we have almost missed the next stop on the VVomen’s VSP calendar, the Ronde Van Drenthe. On International Women’s Day, of all things.All I can tell yo...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. Damn.  I didn’t see this until just now.  I missed the plane, missed the cab, missed the bus, missed the boat, and then Delgado’ed this one. »

There was no clear indication that Rick’s car had actually come to a complete stop. It wasn’t that the car hadn’t stopped its forward trajectory – it had – it was just that the car hadn’t actually stopped moving. Long after the vehicle had come to rest in what could only be considered a legitimate parking spot by...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @wiscot Not at all, my friend.  It’s all been Indoors at the Five and Dime, for me.  Thinkin’ there may be a short ride in store this weekend, tho’. »

The Ancients dedicated a Velomiskrit prayer to The Prophet, who cast into the rock of Mount Velomis, The Rules.It is customary for a Velominatus to repeat this prayer prior to embarking on each ride in order to ensure safe passage and laying down of The V. The prayer should be closed by a moment of silence and flashing the Secret Sign of the Mer...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. Holy shit.  My head just exploded with the awesomeness.  Someone give me a glass of frakkin’ cool-aid. »

There was no clear indication that Rick’s car had actually come to a complete stop. It wasn’t that the car hadn’t stopped its forward trajectory – it had – it was just that the car hadn’t actually stopped moving. Long after the vehicle had come to rest in what could only be considered a legitimate parking spot by...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Shiny.  Frank might as well just re-title this thread as “Excuse for people to post pics of bitchin’ car/bike combos.” »

  2. I felt the same way last year when we finally gave up on the old Honda.  We replaced it with an 11 year old Audi, which has leather seats and seatwarmers and so is, per se, a better car.  But, we got for free from my father in law, though, so by Frank’s l… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @mcsqueak Tell me you at least took off the kickstand, too. »

Until the 70′s it was common to race on gravel roads, but the Paving of the Planet has led to nearly every road being graced by smooth, black tarmac. As is the case with most things, once we are shown the easy path, it is difficult to return to more arduous ways. So it is with gravel roads; we take measures to avoid unpaved roads and in doi...

@The Oracle's posts:

  1. @frank I’d name my driveway after you, Frank, but I don’t want another lecture from the VMH about those “internet bike weirdos” so soon after having to explain to her why it was essential that I order a pair of cufflinks. »

  2. @ralph Also, races like this are kind of like flat stages–in all likelihood, few are going to separate themselve from the rest of the peloton, except for those lucky enough to get into the escape group and make it stick. »

  3. @ralph That’s one of my favorite obscure nicknames, but I can’t take credit for it.  It refers to Carl Sagan and his “billions and billions” of stars. »