Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: VeloJello

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne, North East England

Social: Website

I've been riding now, pretty much everyday, for the last 20 years. I love the feeling of freedom a bike gives. Its fair to say I should be described as a "clyde"! VVLV!

@VeloJello's activity:

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Mmmmm. Amstel. VSP PICKS: 1. Kreutziger 2. Valverde 3. Mollema 4. Costa 5. Galopin »

Details are what separate the Velominatus from the Cyclist; we don’t just pay attention to them – we devour them. Our bicycles are carefully curated with every part sourced to meet our personal specifications, requirements, or whim.And just as fine cufflinks round out a finely tailored suit, the Velominati V-Cog bar plugs dubbed the Han...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @KW Ha ha. Thanks. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. My choices have been mostly influenced by tired legs and a big bottle of Leffe Blond… VSP PICKS: 1. Sep VanMarcke 2. Alex Kristoff 3. Gregory Van Avermaet 4. Fabian Cancellera 5. Peter Sagan »

The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinnin...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Great article. I feel your pain. Being affectionately known as a “Clyde”, gravity is not my friend unless I’m pointing down towards it.  I do always try to keep the biggest ring at the back free for bail out purposes.  Never. Ever. Happens. Of course, one… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @Weldertron That saddle! What brand and where from? »

Details are what separate the Velominatus from the Cyclist; we don’t just pay attention to them – we devour them. Our bicycles are carefully curated with every part sourced to meet our personal specifications, requirements, or whim.And just as fine cufflinks round out a finely tailored suit, the Velominati V-Cog bar plugs dubbed the Han...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Excuse the Rule #45 violation… Old man, sore back… Colour coded beautifully with the frame. »

Here stands a man. A quiet man. A hard working man. A Belgian man. A man from a life of grit, cold, and rain.Here stands a man who has chosen a life of hard work and sacrifice; a hard life even within the context of Cycling. A man who spends long hours in the wind and in the rain, in the service of his team. A man who despite those long hours in...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @andrew There were a lot of spots unmarshalled which could have done with a man with a flag… »

  2. @Buck Rogers  @andrew @Wiscot When you watch the video of the crash it’s hard to see how he would of come out of it well even without the spectators there. From what I can see it looks like that pedastrian crossing point has a fenced off or hedgerow’d isl… »

  3. Lets hope the poor spectator he hit at RVV 2014 is ok… Crazy place to stand, crazy place to try and manoevure on the bike… »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Watch a Wanty rider win, just to prove a point… VSP PICKS: 1. John Degenkolb 2. Fabian Cancellara 3. Peter Sagan 4. Tim Declerq 5. Sep Vanmarcke »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Tom Boonen 2. Ian Stannard 3. Bernie Eisel 4. Fabian Cancellera 5. Peter Sagan »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Forecast looks wet for the weekend…. VSP PICKS: 1. Fabian Cancellara 2. Peter Sagan 3. Roman Kreuziger 4. Sylvain Chavanel 5. Michal Kwiatkowski »

Wind is an asshole. I have no patience left for it. It has all of it been used up, gone, finished. It is the only force that I’m aware of (with the possible exception of gravity) that is more stubborn and less willing to listen to reason than I myself am. It blows me around on my bike, it embezzles speed from my Magnificent Stroke. No matter...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Great article Frank. Did my biggest ride of the year so far last weekend, and with the wind in my face and the sun on my left it was torture on every climb in the wilds of Northumberland. I soon felt a pang of emvy as I saw club ride after club ride rolli… »

I wasn’t anywhere near old enough to hold a driver’s license but my dad had already bought me a motorcycle. It was a late seventies BMW R100 RS, dark blue. I loved that bike; I polished it fortnightly even though it never left the garage. I spent hours sitting on it, twisting the throttle and squeezing the clutch, diving in and out of t...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. To go fast is to live. We are never in a hurry we are just going fast. UK roundabouts are dangerous yet thrilling taken at speed…. »

There is nothing going on right now, oh right, except the Tour of Poland. Can we talk?I don’t think it’s just Frank and myself who are obsessed with the Hour Record. It is Hard Man cycling distilled into its purest form, the ultimate race of truth. During the first week of Tour de France madness Fabian Cancellara made it official he wa...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @ChrisO And undone… looks like they have lifted the article and replaced with another saying no decision until after the spring classics…. »

To look good is already to go fast. -Paul Fournel, VéloMy approach to research is pretty straight forward. First, I develop an opinion – usually in a cognitively compromised state. This is the first step in the process for the simple reason that it avoids the bulk of the hard work involving things like reading and thinking. Next, I cherry-pi...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @Mike_P A-Mercx to that. Though I may not be technically the fastest overall, I do take some pride in looking Fantastic 24/7 , and being the fastest Clydesdale class rider in the North East UK. Fat, fast and fantastic in my weight class…. Being over 40 … »

Rule #57 is clear: No stickers. The detail-oriented Velominatus, however, will immediately understand the difference between a sticker and a decal. You cherish your machine; the Name Badge allows you to mark your trusted steed with your call-sign. Each Name Badge is hand-made to order and bears the name you designate.Made only of the highest-qua...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @Deakus Thanks man. It’s a work in progress. »

  2. Frank, many many thanks for yet another name decal. Was it sent in error though as I didn’t order another one? What do I owe you… Let me know as those things don’t come cheap I’m sure! »

Even though in today’s mountain bike world the bikes are better, the clothing more appropriate, and there are more trails to ride, there’s no denying the early 90s were the Golden Age of Mountain Biking. Just look at these fellas, and tell me I’m wrong.Tomac knew what was up. You don’t get such a badass Rainbow Jersey by ac...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Panaracer Dart and Fire gumwall tyres, Clubroost anodized handle bars, Sachs Wavy Griptwist gears, Tektro V brakes, Mavic rims on a Hope red anodized Ti front hub and a Shimano STX Silent rear hub (remember them?!). Club roost saddle. Fisher Big Sur frame… »

  2. Me, at The Malvern Classis in the early 90′s, happy days on my custom Fisher Big Sur… »

The Goldilocks Principle is under assault, balance is lost. Without balance, we are reduced to savages. Steerectile Dysfunction is spreading like wildfire; socks are quickly becoming knee-highs and the line between shorts and knickers continues to blur.We spend considerable time making everything on our loyal steed fit and look perfect. Bar tape an...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. @scaler911 You win. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Off topic I know, but had to share. The first one is V related… http://usvsth3m.com/post/72562538363/these-cringe-making-headline-typos-utterly-change-the »

We reflect on another year of cycling; who has been naughty and who has been nice. The rusty chain award used to go to the biggest tool of the year but that has been folded into The Anti-V award. In years past the rusty chain award usually went to the present day dopers. Multi-year winners like Danilo “triple threat” Di Luca would now be eligib...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. A worthy award for worthless people… @Deakus Ha ha, I’d forgotten that one…. Happy New Year All! »

Another Cogal in the Northern Hemisphere in 2013? Oh yes, The Farmer is inviting one and all to a Scottish Cogal, December 21st.Start and finish at the Meikleour Inn. V to 9 as it should be light enough by then and will give enough time to get back before it gets too dark, mmmmmmm! Hopefully anyway. Continue reading...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Another Cogal in the Northern Hemisphere in 2013? Oh yes, The Farmer is inviting one and all to a Scottish Cogal, December 21st.

    Start and finish at the Meikleour Inn. V to 9 as it should be light enough by then and will give enough time to get back before it gets too dark, mmmmmmm! Hopefully anyway.

    Strave route is here.

     

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - December 21, 2013
    8:45 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    Meikleour Inn

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

I’m a naturally loud and weird person who expresses excitement through volume. Also, alcohol is supposed to be a depressant, but it doesn’t appear to work for me; all it does is make me happier (and louder) – until I have a little too much at which point I get weirder (a too-happy, too-loud kind of weird). But being happy person...

@VeloJello's posts:

  1. Great great great. Haven’t watched any Louis CK in ages. Both made my day. »