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Velominatus: Velodeluded

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Cheshire, UK

@Velodeluded's activity:

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Any update on the awesome V-socks anyone?  My VMH ordered a pair in December and the weather here in the UK is getting closer to ditching the Woolie bullies… »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Tom’s loss sort of places thing into their natural order don’t you think? Condolences to the big man from myself and all of us here… VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Cancellara 3. Cavendish 4. Stannard 5. Degenkolb »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Boonen 3. Stannard 4. Cavendish 5. Gerrans »

I came strongly into the Fall, stronger than in other years thanks to a late-season objective to do well at my first Heck of the North gravel classic in Minnesota. I was light and I had built good power and endurance by riding the steep gravel roads that pepper the North Cascades and suffering through brutal interval sessions on the windswept stre...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Agreed. Winter kilometres always appear to be the hardest on the surface, the kind that you don’t honestly  want to do deep down inside. One completed then it’s another matter altogether as you gain that inner satisfaction of a job well done, the hurt tur… »

I wasn’t anywhere near old enough to hold a driver’s license but my dad had already bought me a motorcycle. It was a late seventies BMW R100 RS, dark blue. I loved that bike; I polished it fortnightly even though it never left the garage. I spent hours sitting on it, twisting the throttle and squeezing the clutch, diving in and out of t...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. A-Merckx to that Frank. Even when I get back from a ride and see my own miserable max speed on the local awesome descent I still get a buzz recalling the pure sensation of speed that I had.  I’ll take 70kmph on a bike over 200 in a car any day of the week… »

Whenever anybody asks me “what are your favourite films”, when my answer is proffered I’m usually met with a blank stare akin to a dog being shown a card trick. Along with the likes of Fargo, Being John Malkovich and Easy Rider, one of the first names out of my mouth is usually Breaking Away.“Breaking A-what-now?” Co...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Just seen this for the first time courtesy of a dodgy netflix hack (Not on the UK version, only US version).  I will show this to the VMH on her return and maybe then she’ll fully understand. Dennis Quaid finally redeems himself. »

Strength can be a fickle thing this time of year, when the training isn’t as consistent as it should be; it comes and goes, sometimes several times in the span of a single ride or even a climb. Like a rosy-eyed dreamer I keep awakening as I train, thrown like a rag doll between a state nearing euphoria and one resembling purgatory.My mind is...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. I work in an environment that leans towards employment of  “young people”, and find the greatest mental push that I get each day commuting each way  for my own personal 10k TT  is knowing that they know I could hand their asses to them on any given day ab… »

Last year we read that Philippe Gilbert is riding a 50cm (top tube of 535mm) BMC frame and he is 1.79m (5’10”) tall. Now it’s reported in Cyclingnews that Ritchie Porte’s Pinarello is a 46.5cm frame (top tube of 515mm) and Porte is 1.72m (5’8”) tall. He is no Nairo Quintana but somehow he is on Quintana’s old bike. Porte is just one i...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. The  more I learn the less I know… I am a whisker under six feet yet have the leg length of someone slightly shorter. My torso/reach is similar to a Chimpanzee however, so I have to have a frame one size up (58)from what my leg length would usually dict… »

One of the finest things about Velominati is it attracts the crazy bastards. Cyclists are slightly unhinged anyway but there are more than a few out there who have no fear. Crazy is not constrained by nationality. Crazy knows no borders. Sure the Randonneurs would do this just to make sure they were happy with their choice of headlamp strap but @ba...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. New rule proposal… (I’ll leave it to the smart guys to give it a title)… Any ride of 500k and above automatically gains exemption from “the rules”, apart from #80 (This can NEVER be broken)My 100k Sunday ride has now become pathetic – must apply more … »

Rules! Hear me fools: The Rules mark the beginning of the path to enlightenment, not the end. There are higher planes, expanding dimensions. Beyond the color of your bar tape exists a man, a mountain, and a bike. This is where the world begins.Keeper Jim wrote this, reporting on his utilitarian climb of Mount Ventoux. He posts less than the rest of...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Well said Gianni! The apostle speaks many words and these say more than can be spoken. Truly sums up how each ride should and can feel if you free your mind. »

Ok all you roadies, listen up. You’re not gonna like what I’m about to tell you, but it’s the truth. And sometimes, the truth hurts. You ready?Road cycling owes a lot to mountain biking. Continue reading...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. I have been sick in my mouth after looking at road bikes with suspension, I had only just stopped puking upon seeing zertz inserts…. »

The dark makes everything worse; something primal awakens in us when the sun has gone and we are wrapped in the black cloak of night. Laying in bed, my worst thoughts and fears come knocking like some used-car salesperson who won’t leave me alone. There is no shutting down of this process, our imaginations are given free reign to do their wor...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Very succinct as ever Frank. I’ve often wondered if  deposits made to the V bank whilst earned at night were of a stronger currency than standard daytime deposits? It sure feels like they took that much more mental stamina to earn…. »

Five is an important number. Assuming nothing has gone amuck in our development or our usage of cutlery, we each boast five digits on both our hands and both our feet. Most of us have five senses. Most miraculously, any number multiplied by five and then divided by five gives you the same number you started with and yields no remainder.The Babaloni...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. »

  2. Sometimes, just sometimes when I remove my gaze just long enough from the sweat soaked stem I notice the ever present V as a stark reminder to adhere to the most sacred of all the rules…. »

A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art, and serves us loyally in pursuit of our craft. We love them as though they were alive; as we grow together, the cracks and lines formed upon both our skins signifies the journey that has passed beneath our wheels.A cl...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Hit the nail on the head as always Frank! I have just completed a 160km charity ride at the tail end of  last week. Encountered roads full of twigs, wet leaves, grit, stones and cow shit pretty much the entire route. Took me until yesterday to bring mysel… »

The only people I would care to be with now are artists and people who have suffered: those who know what beauty is, and those who know what sorrow is: nobody else interests me. – Oscar WildeI have a theory that every living being is designed to cope with a certain level of stress in their lives, that if our lives are somehow free of stress,...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Chapeau Frank! As a time restricted cyclist I find myself fantasising about which routes/hills I am going to attempt to crush at the weekend, always striving to ride further, harder, and of course, faster! Nothing else in my life comes close to driving me… »

Saddle bags have no place on a road bike, and are only acceptable on mountain bikes in extreme cases.Saddle bags: how do we define them? Is it a saddle bag if it attaches to the seat post and the saddle, if it has a zipper, if it is leather, has two natty straps with buckles, if it swings below the saddle like bumper bollocks? Continue reading...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. I’m torn… Used to have an EPMS and then discovered the meaning of life (AKA The Rules). Then got a bidon style carrier from BBS and used that for a while. Then became pissed at the constant rattle and loss of fluid carrying capacity so have switched bac… »

There has been some gravel fever going around; there is a lot of talk of new bikes and new routes. I don’t live in gravel country and have not caught the disease, yet. @Antoniv submitted this tale of gravel. It’s a bit long but the race was long too. For those of us who haven’t caught the bug, this might help, or hurt. Either way,...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Two weeks off my bike due to family vacation and illness and this is this the first thing I read? Alarm set for 05.00 and 180k route planned. Thanks for the inspiration. Chapeau. »

This is possibly the most offensive piece of gear I have encountered on a bike. Do you really need a little orange wand to tell you what gear you’re in? There is only one gear to be in: the hardest one at which you can still make the pedals go around in something resembling a circle.These goofy little things were found on the bike I rented la...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Being a lowly (but aspirational) Velominatus budgetatus I am forced to accept these idiot indicators. My question to my peers is this? Do I cover the indicators or sell a kidney to upgrade? »

Domination, at least from the spectator’s point of view, can quickly wring the suspense and excitement out of watching an event. In most cases, the sporting events we look back on most fondly are those most closely fought; even in recalling my own competitions, those where my winning margin was smallest feature most prominently in my memories...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. @Mike_P Damn! I knew I’d miss the obvious! »

  2. @Mike_P Mike, as the site is only read by Velominati we’d all be on our bikes anyway so no ochance of that! »

Since it appears that the descents are where the action is in this year’s Tour de France, we thought we’d forgo our usual Mountain-Top Finish for the Stage VSP and instead go for what I’m guessing might be a real cracker of a stage into Le Grand Bornand. In 2009, the Schleck Tandem hadn’t yet discovered their collective dra...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Pick a card, any card… VSP PICKS: 1. Froome 2. Contador 3. Chavanel 4. Kreutziger 5. Rodriguez »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. Just noticed a blatant #37 breach by Cunego. Does this guy know the rules? three lashes with a mini-pump for him at the end of the TT and maybe he’ll learn his lesson. »

  2. @Cyclops +1 to that! About time too… »

This is the women’s Giro and it just happens to take place in early July, bad timing or good timing, at least the Italians step up and do a mini-Grand Tour. Here is the start list. Unfortunately we cannot be giving away more bikes and wheels for this race, but bragging rights and points are useful. Do I have any insightful things to say about...

@Velodeluded's posts:

  1. I have put Wiggo in four all five positions because apparently he “descends like a girl”. Vos would wipe the floor with him downhill base on the Giro…. VSP PICKS: 1. Wiggins 2. Wiggins 3. Wiggins 4. Wiggins 5. Wiggins »