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Velominatus: Winnipeg CycleChick

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@Winnipeg CycleChick's activity:

I hesitate to file this in the Guest Article category. It would be better filed under fellow un-rewarded pirate cycling-site writer, if we had such a file. @winnipegcyclechick does all of her site’s writing, her graphics are usually hers and much too funny. Frankly, she makes me sick. And, AND, she can make the jokes we can’t make lest...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. @frank Of course you would be most welcome. We might even bring you up to the treehouse overlooking the bison herd for a beer. It is an experience every Winnipeg cyclist should have at least once. »

  2. @brett @wiscot Utah it is – I’m not sure it’s exactly mid-distance between Winnipeg, Wisconsin and New Zealand, but hopefully one of those states with somewhat liberal views when it comes to marriage. »

  3. @Gianni Mon Dieu! Fantastique! »

  4. A man with an incredibly small penis takes his new girlfriend to bed for the first time, and because he is not proud of his incredibly small penis, he insists they turn off the lights. Once it’s dark he makes his move and puts his erection in her hand, an… »

  5. @frank I should explain the photo. It’s my fried David, who’s mount, and riding in general can only be described as sublime. The photo was taken at a Halloween ‘cross race, where David impressed everyone with his ‘Superman’ -whereby one rides prone with b… »

TABERNAC! COGAL IS POSTPONED DUE TO FAMILY EMERGENCY. BELAY THE BUG JUICE. Continue reading...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. War_of_1812_Charles_de_Salaberry

    TABERNAC! COGAL IS POSTPONED DUE TO FAMILY EMERGENCY. BELAY THE BUG JUICE.

    On Saturday, June 14, I will host the second annual Tour de de Salaberry, which will start and finish from Camp Tetrault, situated by the winding, picturesque and usually wet Rat River, in St. Malo, Manitoba (100km south east-ish of Winnipeg). The full course will be two laps of a 68km loop, with the option of a single, Executive loop. Some have suggested they may also ride out to the camp on Friday night. The ride is roughly 100km from the city, and can be done safely on pavement, or a combination of pavement and gravel. It is usually awesome, unless there is a South wind, in which case it is balls.

    The route itself will be comprised of pavement, gravel, and dirt. There may be cows. There will certainly be wind, but not enough to save you from the mosquitoes should you stop moving at anytime. Dogfest and beer to follow. Natch.
    As for The Rules, this ride will (naturally) observe them all, but focus specifically on Rules #67 and Rule #11.
    The details:
    +++ TOUR de DE SALABERRY (le deux) +++
    Saturday June 14, rain or shine
    Arrive at 1pm. Roll out at 1:30 PM sharp.
    If you are a crazy badass, ride out Friday night and camp.
    The Route
    Executive Distance (one lap): 68 km
    Voyageur Distance (two laps): 136 km
    Crazy Badass Distance (includes Friday night ride out): 236 km
    What to bring:
    Bug Spray
    Lawn chair
    Change of clothes for sitting around the fire
    Bathing suit/towel (a dip in the river post-ride is as close to heaven as you can get)
    A Bag of chips (or as many as is practicable)
    $15 to cover beer keg
    Did I mention bug spray?
    I will provide dogs, buns and condiments
    Free camping is available. Bonfire and lessons in French swearing will be provided.
    Don’t expect indoor plumbing
    This is a throwdown. Plan to be self sufficient on the road, and don’t expect anyone to wait for you if you are slow, get a flat, or bonk. The course will probably not be marked. A cell phone is a good idea, as is a spare tube and pump. If it’s hot, bring plenty of water so you don’t die.

    Please let me know by Friday, June 6 if you are interested so we can plan accordingly. Feel free to invite others, but only if they are cool.

    CycleChick out.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - June 14, 2014
    1:00 PM - 10:00 PM

    Location
    Camp Tetrault

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Heck of the North is a Gravel Classic held in Northern Minnesota. The course is about 185 kilometers long, approximately 75% gravel/dirt road, with 15 kilometers of trail and as little pavement as needed to make it all come together.The front few groups of this race go for the win, while the rest of the field simply enjoy a fun day out on the...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. The Heck of the North is a Gravel Classic held in Northern Minnesota. The course is about 185 kilometers long, approximately 75% gravel/dirt road, with 15 kilometers of trail and as little pavement as needed to make it all come together.

    The front few groups of this race go for the win, while the rest of the field simply enjoy a fun day out on the bike, riding one of the most challenging and exciting routes in the quickly-emerging gravel scene.

    Mixing gravel roads and ATV trails, this race is home to some of the most innovative bicycle concoctions you’ll ever come across, from drop-bar fat bikes to race-tuned Graveur machines. Leave your road machine at home; you’ll need fast 32mm tires at least in order to survive the trail sections.

    More information on the Heck of the North site. Registration is $54 before July 15; $65 before August 15; and $76 until September 15. Registration ends September 15 or once the 400 rider limit is met.

    The Heck of the North is not a Cogal, but Velominati is a sponsor of the event and will be providing exclusive prizes. See you there.

    Official site: http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 04, 2014
    12:00 AM - 4:00 PM

    Location
    Castle Danger Brewery (Two Harbors MN)

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Change creeps in slowly, it has a way of taking the seemingly immutable and eroding it over time. It’s inevitable; if the great canyons were carved from the solid rock of Mount Velomis by such a soft thing as water, then it should come as no surprise that the Velominati V-Kit would also change with time. As David St. Hubbins says, “Th...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. That is hot. Like lava hot. Thanks for the Kallisto story as well, they sound pretty awesome. »

I didn’t want to climb the Eiger, I wanted to have climbed the Eiger. – Jon Krakauer, Eiger DreamsGianni’s Take…...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. @Gianni I never mind being the token female on a ride. (Especially if I am in Maui. Or Belgium.) Usually don’t even notice. And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that one does not “ponder” Rule #5. You simply put on your big girl pants and do that shit. … »

  2. Awesome. I must do this. Not might. Must. You have been warned. »

We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement:The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in loud...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. Chapeau gentlemen! May I be so bold as to ask if there is any Velominata content pending? Besides the Assos girl, of course. »

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@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. @Steampunk Merde. »

  2. Holy shit. Sounds like heaven. Anybody know what a kidney goes for on the black market these days? »

It is October, the last VSP of the season is up, there is still some race in China no one cares about. The road racing season is over. It is time for a little Velominati reflection. We tried to put in as many women’s races into the VSP as we could. They get little press, finding a start list is tough, picking the top five even tougher. But th...

@Winnipeg CycleChick's posts:

  1. @Mel Hahaha!!! So awesome! I don’t often get creeped on by women, but that’s cool. Yeah, the Skinsuit turned out pretty rad and I can’t wait to wear it. Sadly I can’t race today because of a bad Charlie horse suffered in a spectacular trail ride endo. Ouc… »

  2. Amen sister. Viva la Velominata! »