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Velominatus: Wold Man

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: Rushden England


Riding and racing since '86 (always wanted Hinault to win that year - somehow didn't seem right that a Yank should win it ...subsequent American 'winners' have proved me right!). First racing bike a pearl white 531PRO Peugeot Aneto - looked stunning. Fave rider - Sean Yates - no-one harder. Current No.1 bike Cannondale CAAD9

@Wold Man's activity:

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring po...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. Love the article. Cold: no problem – we wrap up. Rain: we can deal with it (skin is waterproof after all). Wind: it’s just a fact of life on two wheels, but combine any two of these and my sense of humour moves over; replaced by honour, duty to the V and … »

A Velominatus gives the impression of having been born on the bike; the connection between rider and machine is so deeply entrenched that one can hardly draw the line where one ends and the other begins. There is an air of relaxed precision that is part innate and part learned through countless hours devoted to the craft of riding a bicycle batshit...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. Missed one ….that’s the one and only Claudio Chiapucci to the left of Big Mig. Perhaps he smiled a bit too much whilst on the bike to be the epitome of casually deliberate but cool nonetheless. »

A Velominatus maintains their machine with meticulous care, doting over it daily. A bicycle is a tool, but it is also a work of art, and serves us loyally in pursuit of our craft. We love them as though they were alive; as we grow together, the cracks and lines formed upon both our skins signifies the journey that has passed beneath our wheels.A cl...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. The British Government have announced that in the 2011 population census will be the last. This is all a great shame: I would have been proud to have listed my religious beliefs on future census papers as ‘Velominati’. Let’s face it: it fits the bill of a… »

It’s funny what goes through your head at 3am when you’re woken by a cat. Especially if that cat’s name is Lars, and he was named after the Metallica drummer (not by me, he’s my VMH’s cat). I prefer to call him Jan though, as Jan has always been my favourite Ullrich. So last night Lars woke me up, and unable to get ba...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. @Harminator translated as: ” …unless you are Jan Ullrich and your Black Forest Gateaux eating exploits are so fuckn badass that you have two chins”. -sorry, couldn’t resist ;-) »

Everyone knows that the quality of one’s character is measured by the size gear they can push, particularly when going uphill. It is also a well-established fact that no self-respecting Flemish Pro would ever ride a Compact, no matter what condition their knees are in or how ferocious the gradient. Which, by extension, means that Compacts are...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. @frank just keeping it real ;-) »

  2. For those who, like me, can’t do the maths this may help. Anyone using this to justify ownership and use of a compact chainset …it’s still wrong and has no place on a road bike. »

  3. @Chris – disagree, sorry mate, if Rule #65 means disassembling the bottom bracket and shovelling in fresh grease every bloody week just so it doesn’t creak like a whores bed then said bottom bracket must be a crock of shit …I know my way around a bike: 4… »

  4. Firstly …there should be a new RULE concerning compact chainsets and their use (Rule 5 covers this, I know but I believe there is a need to be specific) With the possible caveat: I purchased a bike on a tax-free scheme a couple of years ago and spent t… »

@prowrench is throwing down the greasy gauntlet. There is truth in his words. We already understand the gap between the professional cyclist and us civilians extends somewhere over the horizon. We can ride the bikes, wear nice kit and ride the race routes but that’s about as close as we can get. No one is paying us to ride. We are not Pros. B...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. There’s nothing quite like a two-wheeled grease monkey who overstates his ability compared to others to repel me from crossing the threshold of any bike shop (unless it’s a warranty issue) to get any spannering done. With the probable exception of Di2(!) … »

This is possibly the most offensive piece of gear I have encountered on a bike. Do you really need a little orange wand to tell you what gear you’re in? There is only one gear to be in: the hardest one at which you can still make the pedals go around in something resembling a circle.These goofy little things were found on the bike I rented la...

@Wold Man's posts:

  1. Will agree that these are an abomination but surely these are just extremely crude (is there another way?) V-meters? Failing that, a quick rub-down with some fine wet-and-dry and a quick coat of some black paint »