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Velominatus: antihero

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

@antihero's activity:

I’m trying my best to stay thin this winter, but I’m nowhere near where I was when it was warm and the days were long. I keep flashing back to the last time I felt genuinely skinny and declared to myself, “This time, I’ll keep it off!”This photo is a metaphor. Winter me is on the right, Summer me is on the left. Mi...

@antihero's posts:

  1. This is me too, Frank.  Every year:  November arrives.  I make promises to myself about what a hardman I am, how my weekly mileage will not decline.  Fuck the rain and cold, who cares?  I ride ride ride, no mercy. Along comes a nice case of bronchitis, a… »

White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long som...

@antihero's posts:

  1. I’ve tried white bar tape.  I can’t do it – I would have to replace that shit weekly to keep it looking trim, and I’ve got better things to spend my money on than bar tape. Black, black, black for me.  I’m a fan of the stealthy Death Star aesthetic, anyw… »

Going fast and looking good while doing it is our Velominati creed. Riding on the tops is the domaine of going uphill, where braking and aerodynamics are unimportant. In most other situations that position is too slow. The pros are usually flattened down in the drops or flattened down on the brake hoods. When us non-pros are not climbing, riding on...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @Kevin What is this “pad replacement” you speak of? This is me too – the only bike I have every replaced pads on is my winter commuter. »

  2. @Gianni If you find the right group, it’s the most fun you can have with your clothes on.  In a bunch that size, conversation pace is about 40+ kph, and the sensation of speed and power when everyone really gets down to business is beyond awesome. In … »

  3. @markb Seriously.  Any t-shirt ride around here is guaranteed a pileup or two because people start grabbing their brakes.  Mental.  If I have to tap my brakes while in a bunch, I feel I’ve failed, utterly. »

We just finished a thorough examination of the Cyclist’s marquee accoutrement, the Cycling Cap. Today’s lesson is about the Cycling Cap’s red-headed step brother, the Winter Cycling Cap.This is a toque born of necessity; the thin cotton cap is nowhere near warm enough for the demands of the Flemish winter training season. Form s...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @GogglesPizano The larger second helmet is a wise move, and is often the only way to avoid the dreaded mushroom-head. »

One of the things that strikes me most about the English is they don’t appear to have developed any sort of “inner dialog”. It seems anything that passes through the brain is parlayed directly to the tongue; if the thought being expressed is an insult to you, it will generally include a query for confirmation: “You’r...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @Bruce Lee Very, very true.  The 1st few times, it’s messy and weird, and you will fuck up.  Don’t let this scare you off.  Once you’ve learned the technique, it’s easy as pie.  If you’re worried about trashing a $100 tire, go buy a cheap Vittoria Rally… »

  2. @rfreese888 Yes.  They were awful, like riding a pair of bricks.  Don’t do it. Notably, Conti tires don’t fit on Golden Tickets worth a damn.  I had blood-blisters on my thumbs to prove it.  Vittorias?  Easy as pie. »

  3. @rfreese888 Negative.  Nashville, Tennessee, USA.  We have a surfeit of idiots here that think nothing of chucking their empties on the streets.  Not unlike the Scots, who are the worst litterbugs I’ve ever seen.  I ride over broken glass and shit pave… »

  4. @markb One place where clinchers will win every time is cost.  At $100 a pop, good tubs are spendy, and couriers don’t make that kind of dough. »

  5. @frank The tubs we’re talking about can survive Paris-Roubaix, which is a shit-ton nastier than anybody’s commute. I’ve used Pave EVO CGs for commuting for the last 2 seasons.  The only flat I’ve had was the result of a skid that drove a nail through … »

  6. @Haldy There was no violence, other than in my mind.  If he’s that stupid, he’s best just left to his misery. »

  7. @Haldy Sooooooooo sexy.  My tongue is lolling. A guy once referred to my Golden Tickets as “training wheels” whilst comparing them to his Zipp 404 clinchers.  No class. »

Many of us cyclist don’t go out on the bike for under an hour, at a minimum. What’s the point? It is barely a ride if it is not at least two hours on the bike. I need half an hour to convince myself maybe I do feel OK. After an hour, the first queries can go down to the engine room, is everything good down there? Some people feel better...

@antihero's posts:

  1. Yes.  Hour three is where the magic starts. My mind is full of cobwebs and dark oubliettes where useless thoughts endlessly circle the drain.  Hour three is where all that shit is gone, just utterly fucking gone, and it’s just me, the road, the bike, sip… »

“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours” ― Charles BukowskiIt&#...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @brett Tough love.  Best kind. @Gianni Family and friends give me this kind of craven nonsense daily.   They then get in their cars and commute to work at 85mph while gabbing on their phones.  Mental. I live with the full expectation that one day,… »

What does the layman observe when he sees a cyclist in the wild? While we do our utmost to Look Fantastic, in our own eyes and minds at least, outside observers may as well be witnessing little green aliens who’ve just stepped off their spacecraft and are heading to their very first fancy dress/drag party on this weird and wonderful planet...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @GogglesPizano There’s a set of Rules parallel to ours that govern Urban Cycling.  The are by contrast ephemeral and vapid, but one tenant is that one does not wear “technical” cycling attire around town.  Cycling-specific trousers?  Fine.  Certain vari… »

  2. @lynn pauly Speaking for gents everywhere, yes.  Very yes. »

I’m not sure where this ride falls on the graph of fitness but down towards the bottom, somewhere.There can be a point in every rider’s season where each ride ends the same. FFS, I suck. The unabridged volume of self-loathing is reviewed, cogent chapters reread, aloud, in the bathroom. I’m Too Fat To Climb is a chapter I like to q...

@antihero's posts:

  1. This is so so so true, Gianni. On every long ride, I can set my watch by it: starting at the 150km mark, I’ll hate myself, my bike, and everything about it.  20km will go by.  I’ll love myself, my bike, and everything about it.  a headwind will appear, {… »

To keep chickens is to walk a path towards introspection. From the songs they sing after laying an egg (which I assume is “chicken” for “I’m Every Woman“) to the sheer glee they show when they find a worm in the mud, chickens provide a perfect example of living life in and for the moment. The most interesting aspect o...

@antihero's posts:

  1. Yes.  This is the cause of much unneeded discomfort that should be otherwise channeled into V.  People wonder why their hands hurt after four hours of deathgrip on the bars.  Just this simple change created huge improvement when I figured it out. This i… »

A great unknown awaits the young men, bound by a common entity of steel, flesh and passion rolled together. Do they contemplate the future, or are they so encapsulated in the here and now that anything beyond the finish line seems like it could only be for old people? Have they any inkling which path they will take, or be guided towards? Maybe...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @frank: Easy, cowboy.  Looks like I touched a nerve. On the contrary, I possess mad skillz sufficient to permit the consumption of a four-course meal, with wine pairings, whilst climbing the Tourmalet. »

  2. @unversio You can’t hide your gear selection from the DTs.  Somebody had to shift to the little ring/big cog to get that shot right. »

I’ve lost a lot of things that were, at some point or another, dear to me. At times, I’ve even cast them away deliberately, either because of a nurtured indifference or an irrational or impulsive dislike. Regret is an easy emotion to find in reflection, it lays right at the surface and provides us with a quick answer without requiring...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @frank Relish the struggle, that’s the key. Yes.  Rule #74.  No training, just riding.  No power meter.  No GPS.  No computer.  No math.  V-meter only. @unversio It’ll be one of the best days of your whole life. @ron The commute is my savior… »

I love wine. I mean, I like beer and scotch and can’t resist ordering a Vesper whenever I pretend to be a gentleman spy, but I love wine. As a semi-professional drinker, the biggest worry I have is that should my as-yet undiagnosed problem with alcohol become a diagnosed problem with alcohol, I’d have to stop drinking wine. A full...

@antihero's posts:

  1. @Nate It’s what you consume to kill the pain apres accident. »

  2. This article is timely for me, as this morning I was obliged to employ an non-standard ablative braking technique that involved my integumentary system contacting pavement at speed.  In this case, it’s what I get for hitting a corner too hard in the wet (… »

Doing things the hard way is a luxury. It says to the world that we’ve beat evolution; intelligence is no match for technology and economy is no match for indulgence. We need only step a bit outside our bubble to realize the scale of the illusion, but nevertheless it has become reality for many of us who live our lives happily and fortuna...

@antihero's posts:

  1. I feel very strongly that all Pedalwan should first ride the path upon an old bike.  Wrought from alloy, graced with downtube shifters, 32-spoke box-section wheels, and massing in excess of 12kg, this bike should cost less than $400. The bike must be mai… »