Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: blackpooltower

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: London UK


Very keen newbie London cyclist. Bit over-obsessed with Richmond Park lap times.

@blackpooltower's activity:

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Do we, or should we, have a rule about stupid neck scarves or *shudder* snoods? Quite a few people in my club spoil their smart kit with patterned … patterned I tells ye … scarves in the winter. Anybody think paisley print is appropriate in a cyclist… »

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Ron Agreed, ‘not black’ is a plus these days. Also, is it me or are a few to many teams ‘mixing things up a bit with asymmetric sleeves’? I no like. »

  2. Is this the right place to observe that Carlos Betancur looks awful on a bike? Not just the brown shorts, neither. Bouncing, nodding … winning, yes, but Looking Un-Fantastic. »

We recently lost our beloved Great Dane, Kirki, who we nicknamed Beene for reasons that elude logic. She was a good dog, more sweet than clever. A sad side effect of big dog breeds and their short lives is that it wasn’t until nearly the end of her life that she made certain key discoveries about the world. Such as that weighing nearly 65 kil...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @ChrissyOne Genius put-down. I am going to remember that one and use it in meetings. »

I’m compliant with Rule #74: no Garmin, no cyclometer, just an uncluttered cockpit. I’m not anti-data, if I could generate some awesome data I’d like to know about it. If I was racing I would train with data. I just got bored with looking at the numbers and not doing anything about them. When my Cateye cyclometer/heart rate monit...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. “Okay, guys! Can you just put your heels together for me? You’re not looking camp enough yet… That’s perfect”. »

Yvon Chounard may not be Homer but he is a worthy modern day wise man, he admonished, don’t be a sports nazi. His meaning was, don’t do one sport to the exclusion of all others. It’s tempting not to pursue other sports when cycling demands so much time and leaves one with a body that is barely useful for anything else, but that w...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Well said. Plenty in common between these sports, as I think has been noted before. I’m sure I posted a pic of Hillary and Tenzing Looking Fantastic not so long ago but I can’t find the bugger now. When I was a teenager, my climbing friends and I used to… »

There is nothing going on right now, oh right, except the Tour of Poland. Can we talk?I don’t think it’s just Frank and myself who are obsessed with the Hour Record. It is Hard Man cycling distilled into its purest form, the ultimate race of truth. During the first week of Tour de France madness Fabian Cancellara made it official he wa...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Please tell me you’ve all read The Hour by Michael Hutchinson? Fascinating and very funny history of the event, with his own – hardly-a-spoiler alert – failed attempt thrown in for good measure. Superb book. »

June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Edd...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig … or compound, perhaps? Probably grips V.well. »

This week’s Guest Article comes from our friend, @blacktoolpower (l) and our editor Drummond Moir (r). In anticipation of our book’s imminent release, these two donned their lab coats and headed out to the streets of London to assess the state of Rule Compliance in the city’s commuter crowd. Always remember: leave this kind of ins...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @frank Bit of both … »

  2. @strathlubnaig Haha! Love it. I’ll ask Mrs Blackpooltower about that (a Weegie). Drummond did most of the talking, I did most of the sock measuring. Best bit of all was the security guard at Liverpool St station who we thought was going to give us a hard … »

  3. @strathlubnaig Drummond is pure jock by the way. He just works in London. And I’m still laughing from Frank’s innuendous mis-spelling of my handle. Laughing like this: “grrrrrrrrr” »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @mikebikes Love it. Or perhaps mounted behind saddle? Oh, hang on … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @scaler911 Agreed. And “because it’s there” could easily have been said about the motivation to conquer Ventoux etc. »

  2. 60 years ago today … Don’t know if Hillary or Tenzing ever threw their leg over a road bike but, if they did, I bet they Looked Fantastic. How Casually Deliberate is that? »

  3. Twiggo, noted for his mimicry, is doing a *very* convincing Bernard Hinault impersonation at the moment. Please play nicely, Brad. »

  4. Rule suggestion: “Humpback bridges shall be crested en danseuse, because you never know who might be watching (and you shouldn’t deprive bystanders of a choice gunshot)” »

With the writing of our first book supposedly well underway (but in reality being discussed ad-nauseum in the Boardroom rather than actually committed to text), The Rules have at least been getting some form of attention from The Keepers. When deciding which Rules each of us were to curate, no-one really had much idea what exactly was in there; ask...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @brianc I have pondered that too. Underhand is practical for getting that last bit out of the bidon, I find. I kid myself it looks kind of pro too, but I suspect in reality it looks a bit hamster-like. »

We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement:The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in loud...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @frank Ah, he’s used to it. And he loves it when people do Scottish accents. Sean Connery alwaysh goesh down well… And thanks for your discretion, but not needed. I’m very proud to have been instrumental. »

  2. @frank Can’t wait to tell Drummond he’s English (he’s Scottish) »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Nate Agree about baby wipes. You can clean a lot with them very quickly. Also V.good for a quick spruce up of shoes. »

I’ve said it once before, but it bears repeating now: adherence to Rule #29 carries with it the ultimate mission of the aspiring Velominatus, which is to geek out endlessly over the minimum amount of gear which yields maximum security in the event of a mechanical incident while riding.The goal here is twofold. First, with no European Poste...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @chiasticon Ha! I think we’re filing that under “deliberately provocative”. »

  2. @unversio Thanks! Be great to know if it’s worth the $ »

  3. @unversio How is the Lezyne Pressure Drive, can I ask? Did you get the medium or small? I was considering the medium but obvs need to check it won’t poke out of jersey pocket etc. Got to keep the mouse in the house, as they say. »

Il Grillo gives it some stick in 06. Photo: actionplus sports images[/caption]Lombardia is a beautiful race. Taking in the majestic shoreline of Lake Como and climbing past the shrine to the Madonna del Ghisallo, its stunning Italian-ness bookends the Monuments along with Milan-San Remo which started them way back in March. And it’s a coming...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @G’phant ‘for duty’ – nice! »

  2. @ChrisO Bourbon is a tiny bit sweeter than other whiskeys (and indeed whiskys). If I remember rightly it’s because of the charred, new oak barrels which give a caremel-y character (as opposed to old and un-charred for Scottish Whisky). Sorry, have gone sl… »