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Velominatus: blackpooltower

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: London UK

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Very keen newbie London cyclist. Bit over-obsessed with Richmond Park lap times.

@blackpooltower's activity:

The modern day Pro cyclist has many disadvantages stacked against them by comparison to their forefathers. They have to ride plastic bikes with little or no distinguishing character or discernible caché; they must willingly or perhaps unwittingly subject their body to an array of questionable “training techniques”; and they have to sp...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. The sheer *perch* on Bugno’s cap there … astonishing. »

Brett’s fine Nick Cave article got me thinking about music and cycling. We spend lots of time alone on our bikes. The bike is on autopilot, it stays upright from second to second, freeing up our brains to consider anything or nothing. Music might be the only riding companion we have but it has to be the right music. Being as Pro as possible is...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Geeky, I know, but to alleviate the boredom of a long steady ride and to keep myself within the bounds of Rule #71 (rather than get all over-excited, acquire Top Gun style lock-on on a fellow rider and race to my feeble max hr) … I sometimes listen to B… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Just realised I spoiled my first ever TT by wearing my number 13 right side up. Oops. Also contributing to my feeble performance: no warm-up due to extended session wrangling some new Race Dots. A warning: these are not, repeat NOT handy new accessories w… »

  2. Yesterday on the Dragon Ride in Wales, I came across a bloke with “Velominati Rule #5″ printed on his charity team Etape du Tour jersey. Anyone like to take a wild guess what was dangling from his saddle rails? In the spirit of Rule #3 I pointed out his … »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Great post on crashing from Paul Kimmage here: http://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/cycling/stakes-are-high-with-skin-in-the-game-and-your-skin-on-the-road-30282663.html Particularly where he claims all pros have a fear of touching wheels and goi… »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @ChrisO @Mike_P Ah, that’s my lot in fact (London Dynamo). I like to think we’re generally fairly charming and thoughtful, as it goes. Not your experience, I take it? I’d disagree about our kit, however. I think it looks like the Thomson Local phone direc… »

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@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @ChrisO (belatedly) you are absolutely right on these, Chris. Both books would justify inclusion either on grounds of wit or insight. Pleasingly, both feature both. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Do we, or should we, have a rule about stupid neck scarves or *shudder* snoods? Quite a few people in my club spoil their smart kit with patterned … patterned I tells ye … scarves in the winter. Anybody think paisley print is appropriate in a cyclist… »

Jump to: Scoring Guidelines • Prizes • Schedule • ResultsThe Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @Ron Agreed, ‘not black’ is a plus these days. Also, is it me or are a few to many teams ‘mixing things up a bit with asymmetric sleeves’? I no like. »

  2. Is this the right place to observe that Carlos Betancur looks awful on a bike? Not just the brown shorts, neither. Bouncing, nodding … winning, yes, but Looking Un-Fantastic. »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @ChrissyOne Genius put-down. I am going to remember that one and use it in meetings. »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. “Okay, guys! Can you just put your heels together for me? You’re not looking camp enough yet… That’s perfect”. »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Well said. Plenty in common between these sports, as I think has been noted before. I’m sure I posted a pic of Hillary and Tenzing Looking Fantastic not so long ago but I can’t find the bugger now. When I was a teenager, my climbing friends and I used to… »

There is nothing going on right now, oh right, except the Tour of Poland. Can we talk?I don’t think it’s just Frank and myself who are obsessed with the Hour Record. It is Hard Man cycling distilled into its purest form, the ultimate race of truth. During the first week of Tour de France madness Fabian Cancellara made it official he wa...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. Please tell me you’ve all read The Hour by Michael Hutchinson? Fascinating and very funny history of the event, with his own – hardly-a-spoiler alert – failed attempt thrown in for good measure. Superb book. »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig … or compound, perhaps? Probably grips V.well. »

This week’s Guest Article comes from our friend, @blacktoolpower (l) and our editor Drummond Moir (r). In anticipation of our book’s imminent release, these two donned their lab coats and headed out to the streets of London to assess the state of Rule Compliance in the city’s commuter crowd. Always remember: leave this kind of ins...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @frank Bit of both … »

  2. @strathlubnaig Haha! Love it. I’ll ask Mrs Blackpooltower about that (a Weegie). Drummond did most of the talking, I did most of the sock measuring. Best bit of all was the security guard at Liverpool St station who we thought was going to give us a hard … »

  3. @strathlubnaig Drummond is pure jock by the way. He just works in London. And I’m still laughing from Frank’s innuendous mis-spelling of my handle. Laughing like this: “grrrrrrrrr” »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @mikebikes Love it. Or perhaps mounted behind saddle? Oh, hang on … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @scaler911 Agreed. And “because it’s there” could easily have been said about the motivation to conquer Ventoux etc. »

  2. 60 years ago today … Don’t know if Hillary or Tenzing ever threw their leg over a road bike but, if they did, I bet they Looked Fantastic. How Casually Deliberate is that? »

  3. Twiggo, noted for his mimicry, is doing a *very* convincing Bernard Hinault impersonation at the moment. Please play nicely, Brad. »

  4. Rule suggestion: “Humpback bridges shall be crested en danseuse, because you never know who might be watching (and you shouldn’t deprive bystanders of a choice gunshot)” »

With the writing of our first book supposedly well underway (but in reality being discussed ad-nauseum in the Boardroom rather than actually committed to text), The Rules have at least been getting some form of attention from The Keepers. When deciding which Rules each of us were to curate, no-one really had much idea what exactly was in there; ask...

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @brianc I have pondered that too. Underhand is practical for getting that last bit out of the bidon, I find. I kid myself it looks kind of pro too, but I suspect in reality it looks a bit hamster-like. »

@blackpooltower's posts:

  1. @frank Ah, he’s used to it. And he loves it when people do Scottish accents. Sean Connery alwaysh goesh down well… And thanks for your discretion, but not needed. I’m very proud to have been instrumental. »