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Velominatus: brett

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website

Whilst Brett hails from the land Down Under, he hates that fucking song. An Aussie now living as a Kiwi, he is at home on the rich dirt of New Zealand's mountain bike trails as he is on the scorching tarmac of Australia. Despite his geographical disadvantage, the cobblestones and kassien of Belgium and Northern France hold a special place in his heart and it's where you'll find him each Spring, either with a bike underneath him or a fine Belgian ale in his hand.

@brett's activity:

We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One...

@brett's posts:

  1. @GogglesPizano Nothing at all. Do it. »

  2. This is going to be Fantastic! The Welliminati will be there in force, myself, @BianchDenti, @rigid and @Mikey are ready for a stoning! (Ok, we’re nowhere near ready and probably never will be, but we’ll be there.) »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Marc Madiot »

  2. @wiscot Yes he did. Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

  3. @frank Oh, we’re so stealing that! »

  4. I wear a cap under my helmet year round because: a) I’m bald and it keeps my head warm in winter and unburnt in summer. b) Helmets are compulsory here. c) It’s fucking badass. Buck (and VeloVita) knows. »

  5. @Rob This. It’s been long talked about in the Boardroom, and it seems so simple to produce a V-cap, but it’s not. Getting the right mix of quality, price and number has been a seemingly insurmountable task. But we’re gonna get there… we must. »

  6. And you’re spot on Franky boy, the disparity between the style of the riders and spectators is a yawning chasm. »

  7. Maybe now that the fixie-hipster is crawling back into the hole from whence they emerged, we can rightly reclaim the casquette as an off-the-bike accoutrement. Of course, as we are definitely not savages, it still must only be worn with cycling kit and no… »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Nate No one forgets Gonorrhea… or the brother. »

  2. @Nate I always get those two mixed up… »

Jump to: Scoring Guidelines • Prizes • Schedule • ResultsThe Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Floridian Yep, and Frank groped one of them… »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Nate Indeed, some say Jacques was found dead in a hotel room of a massive Pot Belge overdose, while others say he may have been murdered. »

  2. @wiscot Yes, the rider is none other than Henri Simplex (‘Simple Henry’), who was Jacques’ preferred target as Henri, being the village idiot, would always cede and never put up any resistance to Jacques’ manic inflating. Here we see Henri’s trademark … »

  3. @Nate I’d like to get that recipe… »

  4. @the Engine I knew I could count on your historical knowledge! »

  5. @Buck Rogers That was a blue car though… Jacques would be turning in his grave. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@brett's posts:

  1. @amlemus Thank you, and welcome to the madness. »

I’m not saying I’m Batman; if I was Batman it would be a foolish thing to admit to and if I wasn’t Batman it would be a foolish thing to claim to be. What is true, however, is that Batman is pretty cool and it would probably be pretty cool to be a cool dude like Batman. It bears mentioning, however, that I have never been see...

@brett's posts:

  1. @frank Dude, you’re definitely Adam West Batman… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Giles Another stunner. You know what would really make a difference though? Black headset spacers, to match the black at the base of the seatpost. Yep. »

  2. @campbellrae1 Oh boy! That is a stunner… similar build to my Jaegher, I’m close to pulling the trigger on a set of Bora 35 Dark Label tubs as well. »

Life is full of surprises. Some you don’t want, like a funnel web in a shoe, while others are completely unexpected but more than welcome, even if you are then left with figuring out the hows, whys and HOW?s of the serendipitous conundrum now presented to you.This is how I now feel, after fate knocked at my door via a source that doesn’...

@brett's posts:

  1. @sthilzy Going 1x. And a dropper post. »

  2. We’re in motion. Colour pretty much settled on, and today I purchased this… »

I have a huge capacity for watching bike racing on TV. I’ll watch hours of it even when nothing is really happening. I’m certainly not bragging. So I’m quite certain I could sit in the cramped, possibly smokey, noisy, Gent velodrome and watch an evening of six-day racing. I bet the ratio of men to women (who actually want to be th...

@brett's posts:

  1. Man, I’d love to experience a 6 day… if only they had them in Spring. »

“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover. ~ Falsely yours” ― Charles BukowskiIt&#...

@brett's posts:

  1. Found this little gem about an Aussie bike collector only known as ‘James’. Some great and poignant quotes from him at the end. (Apparently James met his end a while back too… RIP)   »