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Velominatus: brett

Order: Keeper of the Cog

Social: Website

Whilst Brett hails from the land Down Under, he hates that fucking song. An Aussie now living as a Kiwi, he is at home on the rich dirt of New Zealand's mountain bike trails as he is on the scorching tarmac of Australia. Despite his geographical disadvantage, the cobblestones and kassien of Belgium and Northern France hold a special place in his heart and it's where you'll find him each Spring, either with a bike underneath him or a fine Belgian ale in his hand.

@brett's activity:

We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Chris Alex = Alex. Mikey = Mikey. Case closed. »

  2. @Mike Hunn This is what it’ll look like when you’re being ridiculed by Frank… »

  3. @Mike Hunn Oh Mikey, why lug a fixie halfway across the world just for it to be thrown in the back of the van after the first secteur, never to be ridden again? (That’s if William, Alex and Frank even let it near the cobbles!) »

  4. @the Engine You’re in mate… »

We just finished a thorough examination of the Cyclist’s marquee accoutrement, the Cycling Cap. Today’s lesson is about the Cycling Cap’s red-headed step brother, the Winter Cycling Cap.This is a toque born of necessity; the thin cotton cap is nowhere near warm enough for the demands of the Flemish winter training season. Form s...

@brett's posts:

  1. @littledove I think you nailed it with the last sentence mate! We leave no-one behind, the groups previously have contained riders of all levels and abilities, and everyone was just awesome… the cobbles are hard as fuck, no doubt, but something about… »

  2. @frank You loaned it to me? I still have it! That saved my ass (well, my head) on KT13 after my luggage never turned up. I’m forever indebted to you. (Although you’re not getting it back!) Also in that photo, loaner glasses (Frank), loaner helmet and j… »

We want to look like Pros, sure, but what we’re really after is feeling Pro. All the aesthetics are just a tool we use to fuel the fickle internal combustion engine of Morale. In the end, there is little that will make you feel Pro more than clattering along a stretch of cobbles in a small group; instant “select breakaway”. One...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Bianchi Denti This. Who knows even if another one will happen? Waiting for “next year” or “when the time is right” just never happens. »

  2. @asyax You can bring your own bike or ride one of the awesome Cyfacs at no extra cost. Once we pick you up you don’t need to get your wallet out for food, drinks (Malteni!), anything except souvenirs etc. We’d love to see you there! Places are filling q… »

  3. @Harminator See you in Lille mate! »

  4. @GogglesPizano Nothing at all. Do it. »

  5. This is going to be Fantastic! The Welliminati will be there in force, myself, @BianchDenti, @rigid and @Mikey are ready for a stoning! (Ok, we’re nowhere near ready and probably never will be, but we’ll be there.) »

It doesn’t take a genius to see what’s going on here. Rule #5, Rule #9, Rule #10; every rider in this frame Looks Fantastic (most other Rules). The riders are in short sleeves and shorts while the public apparently has scavenged materials from rubbish bins and the local grain elevator in a very visually unpleasant effort to keep war...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers Marc Madiot »

  2. @wiscot Yes he did. Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

  3. @frank Oh, we’re so stealing that! »

  4. I wear a cap under my helmet year round because: a) I’m bald and it keeps my head warm in winter and unburnt in summer. b) Helmets are compulsory here. c) It’s fucking badass. Buck (and VeloVita) knows. »

  5. @Rob This. It’s been long talked about in the Boardroom, and it seems so simple to produce a V-cap, but it’s not. Getting the right mix of quality, price and number has been a seemingly insurmountable task. But we’re gonna get there… we must. »

  6. And you’re spot on Franky boy, the disparity between the style of the riders and spectators is a yawning chasm. »

  7. Maybe now that the fixie-hipster is crawling back into the hole from whence they emerged, we can rightly reclaim the casquette as an off-the-bike accoutrement. Of course, as we are definitely not savages, it still must only be worn with cycling kit and no… »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Nate No one forgets Gonorrhea… or the brother. »

  2. @Nate I always get those two mixed up… »

Jump to: Scoring Guidelines • Prizes • Schedule • ResultsThe Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Floridian Yep, and Frank groped one of them… »

Whenever you see one of those yellow cars or motorcycles laden with spare wheels and manned by efficiently deliberate young professionals with no allegiance or favour to any one rider, take a moment to reflect on the oft-overlooked pioneer of the neutral service as we know it today, M. Jacques Mavic.Usually only sighted once a year in July, Jacq...

@brett's posts:

  1. @Nate Indeed, some say Jacques was found dead in a hotel room of a massive Pot Belge overdose, while others say he may have been murdered. »

  2. @wiscot Yes, the rider is none other than Henri Simplex (‘Simple Henry’), who was Jacques’ preferred target as Henri, being the village idiot, would always cede and never put up any resistance to Jacques’ manic inflating. Here we see Henri’s trademark … »

  3. @Nate I’d like to get that recipe… »

  4. @the Engine I knew I could count on your historical knowledge! »