Velominati › The Community
Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: cjcosgrove

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Little Rhody

Southern expatriate living in New England (happy to be able to buy grits, a bit bummed that can't get decent pork rinds), former collegiate racer in the late 1980's who came back to cycling after a long period of darkness when the diversions of life were all consuming. The ability to brew beer compensates nicely for any character flaws.

@cjcosgrove's activity:

Brad Wiggins is sitting at home, watching his team implode at a Tour de France he was not invited to.What’s on his mind? An attempt at the Hour Record, that’s what. Now that the UCI has allowed riders to mount a conventional (track) time trial machine in their efforts and the likes of Boardman, Obree, Moser, Rominger, and Indurain all...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. Well thankfully Fignon didn’t take aerodynamics all that seriously at a particular time trial in late 1989. Perhaps that rig was his way of overcompensating. »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @wiscot Actually it’s a picture from the future of a fat Mark Cavendish and a less fat Bernie Eisel. »

  2. @frank  Yes true, but thanks to  some inter web shenanigans, I was only privy to Doucheboy #1 (on the left) in my initial viewing. Ice cream dude only showed up in my view when I responded. I just hope he’s not staring at Db #1 while doing that. »

  3. @RedRanger About his look, you know this dude’s thinking: “yep, nailed it.” »

  4. Talk about a paradox: white sunglasses while appearing fantastic when worn on the bike, open the door to douchedom off of it. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. Merckx, I hope I haven’t just jinxed Nibbles. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Nibali 2. Froome 3. Valverde 4. Porte 5. Roland »

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it t...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. Historically, cyclists were early adoptors of shorn extremities. Now, I ‘aint no expert, but from what I read (perhaps written by me) the order of shavers goes as follows: cyclists, dance hall girls, prostitues, then everyday women. I suspect we have the … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @william reichert There are rules against Jackasses, just not dumbasses. That goes without saying. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. Just an observation here. I was watching a certain 4 letter sports network (it was zero dark thirty and I was on the trainer, pre-tour coverage) and noticed the following commercials in heavy rotation: fast food, shit beer, crap small cars and doritos. Th… »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @Chris And his ball caps, and his pistol shooty gestures and… Agree about Millar and OPQS. Stjin Devolder is worthy of consideration: ample supply of badassness and tree trunks for thighs. »

  2. Were it not for his penchant of wearing those damn scarfie things (and “eating” tainted foodstuffs) Contador would be the man. »

Maybe it’s the narcissist in me or maybe I never really learned how to share properly, but I prefer my birthday over Christmas. My birthday is the one day of the year where everything is about me. No feigning interest in other people’s gifts, no getting distracted by any greater meaning. Just me and my loot, as it was meant to be. Spea...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. “When it comes to Grand Tours, I liken the excitement of the Giro to my birthday, the Tour to Christmas, and the Vuelta to a coworker’s birthday.” Frank, you nailed it with this analogy and thankfully, sometimes those coworker’s birthday parties are pret… »

  2. Well one good thing about being a cycling fan: don’t have to worry about people blabbing about who won the day’s stage until I get home and can watch it myself. Of course having to resort to nascar analogies to explain the racing to non fans is painful. »

Who learns of their cycling potential while in the military, serving in Africa? @wiscot is once again serving up some great cycling history in his post about  Joaquim “The Bull” Agostinho. As dangerous as cycling seems, surprisingly few professionals get killed racing or training. Agostinho was one of the unlucky few. He was a man for...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. Truly one of the hardmen and typical of the cyclist: remount the bike toute suite post crash, regardless of condition. Flandria was a great team, just reference the site www.flandriacafe.com t »

Tempo means time in Italian. Riding tempo means riding steadily, like a metronome. It is an important skill to have and since it’s Italian, it sounds cool. What it does not mean is riding at a constant speed, half-wheeling or killing it at the front. Riding at a constant speed is like having cruise control on in a car; the car seems to accelerate...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka  Dude, you are so right, should have said “unfair.” Still true about the Brikos. »

  2. @il ciclista medio Love the Brikos. Cipo: all style, fair amount of substance. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. I’m wondering if my spellcheck is sentient: corrected “Nibali” to “invalid.” VSP PICKS: 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Valverde 4. Nibali 5. Roland »

Tempo means time in Italian. Riding tempo means riding steadily, like a metronome. It is an important skill to have and since it’s Italian, it sounds cool. What it does not mean is riding at a constant speed, half-wheeling or killing it at the front. Riding at a constant speed is like having cruise control on in a car; the car seems to accelerate...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @Gianni Looks like Peter Kennaugh, regardless the dudes got style. »

Why are women’s races run concurrently with men’s races? I would get it if it was the women’s Tour de France, but I don’t get it when it is the women’s Giro in July. Since the Tour de Swiss there has been a lack of stage racing (in my TV watching schedule) and seemingly a perfect time to present a women’s stage r...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. throwing the dice VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Abbott 3. Stevens 4. Pooley 5. Moolman »

Cyclocross could be the most perplexing of all the cycling disciplines. To me it’s  at once the most beautiful and the most unappealing. The beauty comes from the great European races, and of course by ‘European’ I mean ‘Belgian’. The lack of appeal stems from the fact that I just don’t want to do it. It looks...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. If road races went through beer tents and if you could then pull off a beer hand-up at speed then I think you could experience all the good things of a cross race sans mud and running. Until then… As a side note, I think a cross race is one of the few … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @Matthew Bennett You are well on your way lad! That could have been written by a young Sean Kelly or dare I say, any number of those of us on this site. I sacrificed and saved for two years to get my first race rig but couldn’t afford the Bianchi that I c… »

Chamois leather used in cycling shorts looked like this only once, before the first washing. After that one had to slather cream onto it to attempt to restore it to its former soft smoothness, which was impossible. I have written a reverence article on chamois cream and I vowed then to never google “saddle sore images” again, hence a b...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @therealpeel  “Is there a difference between diaper rash cream and chamois cream?” Yes, price. That, and there are no hot chicks (Assos girl) hawking diaper cream. »

  2. I generally apply chamois cream using the two finger application. However there’s a scene in “Hell in Wheels” where the T-Mobile soigneur stuffs his hand into a giant tub of goo and then paints Eric Zabel and Rolf Aldag’s chamois with a great big ol’ heap… »

Maui Velominatus Dave is tapering for this Saturday’s Cycle to the Sun. It is more mass start, time trial to the sun as there is nothing like 3.3 km of continual climbing to sort everyone out by their power to weight ratios. After 2 km of climbing there is no pack and no draft. Everyone climbs as hard as they can and almost everyone is riding alo...

@cjcosgrove's posts:

  1. @kixsand I can’t look at my heart rate during a race. It freaks me out when it is higher than expected, and then my brain starts plotting against me. »

  2. Back when I was in college in the late ’80′s, I used to do a crazy sprint work out every couple of weeks or so. I’d do repeated sprints until I reached total exhaustion or some other calamity happened, like vomiting. It was always a real challenge to ride… »