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Velominatus: cognition

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Seattle

Social: Website

Roadie since '87, just missing LeMan's heyday but squeaking in to read about Stephen Roche's trifecta in the pages of Bicycling magazine in my public library back in high school in New York. Raced briefly, without success, as a Cat 4 junior and then occasionally in college in Southern California. In order, I've owned and ridden: lugged steel Bianchi, lugged steel (531) Trek, lugged steel Paramount, Ritchey mountain bike, Ti Kona mountain bike, Ti LeMond, and an Al Specialized CX bike. Still have all of them, to my wife's dismay; I may already be at S-1. Heretically, I still like running and backpacking.

@cognition's activity:

Stupidity is a powerful force never to be underestimated. Geese are a good example; a more stupid vertebrate one would be most challenged to come across yet should you wander into a flock of them pecking about peacefully in a field, one is likely to erupt from its grazing to grab a billful of your ass and commence beating you savagely with it...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @Chris E Dub How?  Are they too close?  I mean, why don’t they show up in the mirror(s)? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @DeKerr Beyond my earlier comments, you don’t need to worry about “not having anywhere to go” from the R5.  You just have to start looking at gravel bikes, cross bikes, mountain bikes, track bikes, etc… »

  2. @DeKerr I don’t know that I’m the voice of temperance.  I’m nearing s-1 over here.  I just pointed out that you can get some screaming deals on the used market. Secondarily, though, “don’t race what you can’t afford to replace”.  Heard it back in the la… »

  3. Because fall, ‘cross, and the gravel season are all coming. (Forgive the broken rules; still sorting out this bike.  And yes, it’s a Specialized.  Bought before the bullshit with Cafe Roubiax, so it’s properly grandfathered…) »

The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in...

@cognition's posts:

  1. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  3. The Cogal of the Falling LeaVes is now an annual eVent. This is the carte edition.

    The route is unchanged from 2011-2013. The North Island offers a challenge for those looking to extend their fitness into ‘cross season. A southern section only offers a beautiful ride with a lunch stop in Coupeville and return. Eightzero will (as always) be in the groupetto.

    A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 18, 2014. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. There are bailout points for shorter rides. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here.

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 18, 2014
    10:05 AM - 4:15 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? D...

@cognition's posts:

  1. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2. When someone uses the phrase “bucket list” within my hearing, I want to give them a snot-laden cycling glove across the chops. Because when you use a dead metaphor like that one in connection with the topic of mortality, it means that you don’t adequately appreciate the finality of mortality. “Dead metaphor,” get it? Death deserves his due, as they say, whatever the hell they think they mean by that. I’m saying that dead metaphors do not serve the vital function of warding off death.

    The only reason I bring that up is because if 1) you live in the Pacific Northwest and 2) you are a Cyclist and 3) you have not ridden Hurricane Ridge, well, you should, while you can. Here’s why: it’s an HC climb that begins at the salt water of the Strait of Juan de Fuca and climbs, without relent, to 1600 meters. ‘Muricans, do the math. (Hint: it’s 5242 feet.) It’s not a steep climb, but it’s a damned long one that doesn’t give you a break, and it’s entirely up to you how you let it treat you. That’s freedom. That’s life, which we all understand to be the opposite of death.

    This ride also offers the strange and exotic opportunity to stay at El Rancho del Stumpo del Norte, free of charge. El Rancho–the beginning and end of the route–is a demi-funky log home with an outbuilding and lots of covered porch area on five secluded acres about ten miles east of Sequim. (That’s right; it’s nowhere.) There is effectively unlimited camping space, whether that means pitching a tent or throwing a sleeping bag on the porch or passing out “dead” drunk on the rocked-in fire pit in the back yard. There will be unlimited supplies of ale; there will be music indoors and out; there will be fire and food cooked over fire. There will be The Most Interesting Dog in the World.

    More importantly, there will be Velominati. And their bikes. And a big fucking climb. And, as should follow, one of the funnest descents ever: smooth pavement, light traffic, and views that tempt you to divert your gaze from your line at high rates of speed.

    The details of the route are to be determined; ongoing work on Hwy 101 will determine some details. But this is the general idea: http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/view/387985892. Basically, we’re talking 150km, roughly, with a 1600-meter climb in the middle of it, with maybe 2400 meters of total elevation gain. Have a look at the route, and you’ll see a very symmetrical pattern: a flat, a climb, a flat. You could, I suppose, use an internal combustion device to avoid the flat bits. I don’t know why you would, but you could. There are ample opportunities to water up or refuel in Sequim and in Port Angeles, which is at the beginning of the business. At the top of Hurricane Ridge, there’s a lodge with basic services (water, bathrooms, and crap food). For detailed info, email me at davidbrande(aht)gmail(dawt)com.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 23, 2014
    9:05 AM - 8:00 PM

    Location
    Peakintwoyears HQ

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @fignons barber At the “low end” of restoration, it shouldn’t cost that much to take the frame to a local powdercoating shop and have them strip it, bead-blast it, and powdercoat it a pearl white.  Then contact these guys for decals: http://www.velocals… »

I don’t know how a guy who shows off the better part of a half meter of seat post comes to the conclusion that his saddle is too low, but that precise thought occupies an enormous amount of time. Ever closer looms the minimum insertion point on my seat pin, yet I am irrevocably bound to explore its limits.I actually wish my legs were shorter...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @Nik Can I ask what your shop is (in Seattle)?  West Seattle/Burien here, possibly looking for a new saddle.  Although I should probably just stick with the Flite classics that I’ve amassed… »

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues of goi...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @El Mateo I don’t qualify to be passing judgement on modifying the rules, but keeping the rear wheel secure is more important than anything else.  Don’t have the lever backwards, though — don’t risk getting someone else’s front wheel trapped in there.  W… »

  2. @Ron Yes, going from 28’s to 32’s will be noticeable.  I often run 28’s (on wide rims) for my commuting bike.  I’ve tried some 33.3mm “Jack Brown”‘s (by Rivendell).  If you run the appropriately-lower air pressures, you’ll definitely notice the ride diffe… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @kixsand I’m not an expert on ‘cross bikes, but I know that there’s one major difference inside the family: the bottom bracket height.  Ridley is part of the “Northern European” branch of the family, with a high bottom bracket.  Most Italian and many US … »

Everyone knows you need at least three road bikes – two if you’re absolutely determined to make a point about minimalism. Bike Number One is reserved for good weather and events, and the Rain Bike for inclement weather. Just like our guns need to be pampered and rubbed down whenever we’re off the bike, any time Bike Number One isn...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @frank And here I thought that you should just convert it to a track bike for your next hour record attempt. »

I just got turned back from a ride. 5k from the house I realized my bits were getting too cold not only for comfort (in which case, apply Rule #5 and move on) but safety (i’ll take my vasectomy in the hospital, thank you very much). It’s a lovely sunny day, the only problems being the minus 12C temp, biting headwind, and leg warmers th...

@cognition's posts:

  1. Peakin’, Frank, G’rilla, I went up to the Iron Horse Trail at the end of last summer.  It’s a great trail, but I got to the section with the tunnel through the top of the pass and found that the surface through the tunnel is seriously shitty.  Like, fist… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @the-farmer Wait, you’re looking for a set of wheels for your winter-training bike, that’s running 8-speed?  In my opinion, I’d pass on just about all of the recommendations so far and just look on your local Craigslist or equivalent.  Keep an eye out, a… »

Last year we read that Philippe Gilbert is riding a 50cm (top tube of 535mm) BMC frame and he is 1.79m (5’10”) tall. Now it’s reported in Cyclingnews that Ritchie Porte’s Pinarello is a 46.5cm frame (top tube of 515mm) and Porte is 1.72m (5’8”) tall. He is no Nairo Quintana but somehow he is on Quintana’s old bike. Porte is just one i...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @tessar Yes; I was trying to make the point that with a flat back and horizontal forearms, a pro’s hands now often hit the hoods, while a pro in the 70’s with a flat back and horizontal forearms would be riding in the drops.  I take your point, though. ab… »

  2. @Nate In fairness (regarding Ryder’s handlebar position), one thing that we’ve not talked about is the fact that “riding on the hoods” is the new “riding in the drops”.  There’s massively more saddle-to-bar drop amongst pros than there used to be in, say … »

Even though in today’s mountain bike world the bikes are better, the clothing more appropriate, and there are more trails to ride, there’s no denying the early 90s were the Golden Age of Mountain Biking. Just look at these fellas, and tell me I’m wrong.Tomac knew what was up. You don’t get such a badass Rainbow Jersey by ac...

@cognition's posts:

  1. …and if we’re even remotely talking about skinsuits in mountain biking, why hasn’t anyone brought up Paola Pezzo yet? »

  2. @frank Fair enough.  If for no other reason, the sport abandoned the tires and bike geometries of the gravel mountain roads for decades before we started looking at re-modifying ‘cross bikes or road bikes to ride things like D2R2 and Almanzo without killi… »

  3. Can I say a few words about Tomac?  I’ll admit that as a pedalwan in the late 80’s I wasn’t too interested in mountain biking and the ex-BMX’ers in its pro ranks.  I was too focused on LeMond, Kelly, Roche, Anderson, et. al. Then Donald Trump (or someone… »

  4. @wiscot That, sir, is a Charlie Cunningham custom stem.  It was called an L.D. stem, because it goes straight up and then curves “down”, hence the Limp D… syndrome. Charlie has a number of other (more significant) contributions to early mountain bikes:… »

  5. @frank Really?  Drop bars on Tomac and Jaquie’s bikes were awesome in their own right, but I’ve always thought that the origins of the graveur come from the Tour and Giro riders going over gravel roads in the Alps and Dolomites; particularly the legendary… »

Assuming you ride somewhere outside the borders of Antarctica, you have likely already heard about the injustice being imposed on our friend and fellow Velominatus, Dan Richter who goes around these parts as @Dan_R.I’ve been riding Dan’s wheels for a bit over a year, and they are the best I’ve ever had. After hearing about the sui...

@cognition's posts:

  1. @Beers I’m not confused about how it happened.  We elected people who wrote the laws, and then the courts agreed to ASI and Specialized’s claims.  I understand that.  I understand that there is a legal distinction between the usage of “Roubaix” in the c… »