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Velominatus: itburns

Order: Gray Order Velominatus

Location: Houston, Texas, USA

Less jive, more V.

@itburns's activity:

A friend recently asked my advice for how to prepare for the longest ride he’d ever done. My approach is somewhat unorthodox when it comes to this sort of thing; I like to train to ride a lot farther than the event itself, and whenever possible, throw in a handful of sessions with my old friend, The Man with the Hammer. I suggested he do the...

@itburns's posts:

  1. I can see the point of the racers in the community that individually measure out morning espresso grinds to stay within their optimum training “program” thinking it is a failure when meeting the Man outside of a race.  It would indicate a lack of discipli… »

  2. @Gianni My Festum Prophetae tradition of a long solo ride is consistent in having the Hammering Man along for company toward the end.  For this tradition only, I would feel cheated if he didn’t show.  The rest of the time, he is like a friend that accid… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears Well, right after Houston stole it from the Twin Cities who stole it from Amsterdam.  It’s ok though, you guys did invent endless drizzle. I don’t understand why anyone would rent one of these in Portland instead of just going to Edgefi… »

  2. Settle down PNW snobs.  My encounter was in Houston, Texas.  These “bars-on-wheels” have been around for some time here. My recollection is that these are called Fietscafe and are imported from Amsterdam (of course). »

  3. @frank I approached one of those at the end of a ride the other day.  They asked me if I wanted a beer, road up beside them, took the can, opened and drank it.  You would have thought I worked a miracle by the reaction.  The tragic part was that it wasn… »

A death is a painful thing to experience. Particularly, I imagine, for the one doing the dying. For those left behind, it takes time to mourn and come to grips with the change; it is an unpleasant process, but such is the way of things.The crack in the chainstay of my beloved Cervelo R3 had been weighing on my mind ever since I discovered its exist...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @frank Glad you went with the mandibles – I think they look much better on that frame than the zipps. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers At least I beat you at the line. »

  2. @Luca see Rule #26 »

  3. @Skip Excellent! »

June 20th, 2013, to paraphrase FDR; a date that shall live in infamy. The Queen is in deep seclusion. Today is Scepter’s official release date for The Rules. Yes, despite people already sneaking it out of England’s bookstores, today really is the day. And as part of the EU, hopefully the book is available across the Commoneweatlth. Edd...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @the Engine You have stumbled across the Texas Renaissance Festival grounds.  It has grown over the years to a permanent dwelling of anachronisms. images of yearly festival »

Cycling has been suffering a crisis every since the use of a helmet became compulsory. This crisis is rooted in the simple fact that cycling peaked aesthetically with the cycling cap perched casually deliberate atop a sweaty cranium. It was only after mandatory helmet dictum spread its tentacles into all UCI-sanctioned races in 2003 that helmet man...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Cyclops The telegraph is a wonderful invention.  Grats. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @mouse That and they have been known to knock riders off of their bikes “accidentally” while spectating. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @TommyTubolare Your insight into all things tire related is always well thought out and informative.  Any further clarifications about why you recommend starting at the valve?  I have always started opposite the valve and, when a tire maker even bother… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Chris What does animal husbandry have to do with it? »

There is a sense of weightlessness that accompanies speed; a strange feeling for any Earthbound creature who temporarily breaks Gravity’s relentless grip – an intoxicating blend of liberty and a sense impeding doom. The day I learned to ride a bike, I felt this sensation spread through me like a virus; immediately my eyes cast to the di...

@itburns's posts:

  1. I also was thinking of La Vuelta and the glory that would be Purito vs Q on 23% ascents. »

This has to be one of the best photos of the 2013 Tour: Nairo Quintana at the finish on the Ventoux. Nairo gives very little away when he climbs but as he crossed the line his head dropped and the lights went out. He later admitted having gone too early again. Before that, on the slopes of the Giant of Provence, he knew he was going to win. Then h...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @frank I move that this post and link be stricken from the official record.  It doesn’t even deserve the honor of being scoffed at by the Velominati. »

There are lots of things to like about Vroomie Froomie, like his willingness to accept the fact that people are inclined to question his performances. Aside from me resenting him for leading a Tour which everyday becomes a little less exciting, he seems quite a likable guy; he is polite, respectful of the sport, wears team-issue bibs with his yell...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @frank I think it is the asymmetrical “splash of blue” on the left leg.  Optical illusion? »

Rule #12 is a beautiful thing. If all but a handful of Rules had to go, Rule #12 would remain. This Rule smolders in all cyclist’s hearts; the need for a better bike has to be there. It just has to. Rule #12 cannot be extinguished while working in the most dangerous or depressing bike-free environments. @dark42echo sent us this from the Fa...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @dark42echo The last line is absolutely classic.  Well done. »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@itburns's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Christopher Froome 2. Roman Kreuziger 3. Alejandro Valverde 4. Alberto Contador 5. Bauke Mollema »

  2. I saw Sky at their worst and most other teams at their best – result?  No change.  I would say that is a silver lining for Sky. »

This is the women’s Giro and it just happens to take place in early July, bad timing or good timing, at least the Italians step up and do a mini-Grand Tour. Here is the start list. Unfortunately we cannot be giving away more bikes and wheels for this race, but bragging rights and points are useful. Do I have any insightful things to say about...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I read that she hit a small hole in a patch of repaired tarmac and her shoe unclipped. »

Our products represent the spirit of Velominati; every product we offer is made with the utmost attention to detail – no compromises were made in their selection or design. Whenever possible, our products are made my small, locally-owned businesses who share our passion for quality and we make every effort to ensure they are made in an enviro...

@itburns's posts:

  1. The official chocolate milk of the Velominati? »

Any return from time off the bike is always met with a peculiar mixture of anticipation and apprehension. I will be excited to return to the bike, but on some level I’ve become accustomed to not getting on my bike every day. Not riding is easy, and we are creatures of inertia – once the rhythm of the daily ride is broken, it takes a...

@itburns's posts:

  1. @frank Yep, that is the video that inspired the term. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@itburns's posts:

  1. If it looks like an EPMS, and hangs like an EPMS, it’s an EPMS.  All you have in there is a pump and a tube?  Should have plenty of extra space in your pockets. »

Any return from time off the bike is always met with a peculiar mixture of anticipation and apprehension. I will be excited to return to the bike, but on some level I’ve become accustomed to not getting on my bike every day. Not riding is easy, and we are creatures of inertia – once the rhythm of the daily ride is broken, it takes a...

@itburns's posts:

  1. Had really strong headwinds on parts of the ride today.  I think of them as Dutch Hills and then don’t mind the added effort. »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

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