Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: minion

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Pedant

@minion's activity:

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Weldertron Slammed! That’s the ultimate vote of confidence that you’ve got the headtube the right length (if you’re using that fork…) »

  2. @unversio Don’t really trust them. The Look Zed cranks are solid carbon, one piece and immensely strong, have a 40mm spindle and wil only fit in certain compatible Look frames. The inserts for the pedals, that let you change the effective crank length, … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@minion's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka Was never cold enough in Welly to need one. When I’ve lived places where the temp regularly gets below zero, they’re indispensable. »

  2. @Optimiste You claim you need to avoid sartorial confusion but have pictured a man with a bicycle and a cane, traditionally an aid for walking. A hunting rifle or shotgun, accompanied by a brace of dead animals, would be far more suitable attire for th… »

I’ve never been able to decide if choices are a gift or a curse; a lack of choices introduces simplicity but also with it the risk that the simple choices do not meet the demands of a complex world. An abundance of similar choices, on the other hand, often reduces the impact of getting things a little bit wrong, but also decreases the thought...

@minion's posts:

  1. @brett Fuck they  must have been subtle. »

Last year we read that Philippe Gilbert is riding a 50cm (top tube of 535mm) BMC frame and he is 1.79m (5’10”) tall. Now it’s reported in Cyclingnews that Ritchie Porte’s Pinarello is a 46.5cm frame (top tube of 515mm) and Porte is 1.72m (5’8”) tall. He is no Nairo Quintana but somehow he is on Quintana’s old bike. Porte is just one i...

@minion's posts:

  1. Look at their arms, then their back. My non-scientific theory is that with high bars and an equal angle between the back and relatively straight arms, you compress your lumbar region and end up putting more pressure on your lower back. If you have shorter… »

I’ve never been able to decide if choices are a gift or a curse; a lack of choices introduces simplicity but also with it the risk that the simple choices do not meet the demands of a complex world. An abundance of similar choices, on the other hand, often reduces the impact of getting things a little bit wrong, but also decreases the thought...

@minion's posts:

  1. @brett WHAT!?!? I have no idea what this conversation has to do with me. 53-39 and a 12-25 cassette. That’s the bottom line on everything that’s been discussed here. I ran a straight block on the courier bike till it wore out and just got really slow l… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. @xyxax Why would you want anything other than Silver or black? Both are the most awesome colours ever. We’re not matching fucking handbags to shoes here. »

Ok all you roadies, listen up. You’re not gonna like what I’m about to tell you, but it’s the truth. And sometimes, the truth hurts. You ready?Road cycling owes a lot to mountain biking. Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. I might be pulling the wrong part of the pig here, but aren’t successful innovations meant to, you  know, still be in use? I can’t recall having any of the ugly crap in the article hanging off any of  my road bikes, and I’m sitting in the living room look… »

  2. Mountain bikers; innovators like this fuckwit?  »

I’m a naturally loud and weird person who expresses excitement through volume. Also, alcohol is supposed to be a depressant, but it doesn’t appear to work for me; all it does is make me happier (and louder) – until I have a little too much at which point I get weirder (a too-happy, too-loud kind of weird). But being happy person...

@minion's posts:

  1. This is what Straya does to Kiwis »

  2. @frank Yeah, or the calories they pack into the booze to make it taste good, like the sugars that are still in beer, a lot of the crap in the flavoured drinks to make them look good, the fact you’re sitting on your arse talking shit and rehydrating. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@minion's posts:

  1. @mattG (Suggested exception to Rule #38, subclause A) Any twat yelling strava and accelerating in an erratic fashion is to be put into the nearest ditch where waiting minions will beat him thoroughly with frame pumps, in the hope that next time a “strav… »

Hear ye, hear ye, get thee, and a mirror, to your indoor trainer. This is going to be a multi-part series on getting the rider and the ride to a more perfect union. Most of us have never been professionally fit for our bikes. An inseam measured, a glance at a reflection when riding by a store window is our bike fit. I’m not advocating  that,...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Gianni »

The Skype conversation went like this:Brett: “Remember Laurent Dufaux?” Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. Man I need to get on the fucking gear. Seems to be the best way to be venerated after retirement, especially now that Rapha’s hocking clothes with der Kaiser. »

Water is an asshole, at least when it comes to bicycles. So is wind, now that I think of it; I don’t love it, unless its at my back, but that rarely seems to happen even on out-and-back routes. Fire’s not winning any prizes either, unless you’re talking about the hunk-a-hunka burnin’ V. Even le soleil isn’t scoring po...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Gianni What are the relative populations? Gotta be honest but Australians are probably a lot more appetising to a shark that Hawaiians. I’m gonna expect that Hawaiians are generally a lot better in the water than your average fat fucker lolling aroun… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@minion's posts:

  1. @scaler911 The fuck? You set that white trash turkey roaster contraption up in your back yard and you want to screen us? »

Finding The V-Locus is something of an extension of the Goldilocks Principle; bars set somewhere between Sit Up and Beg and a face-plant, saddle height somewhere between speed skater and Baryshnikov, and reach somewhere between a unicycle and the Batpod. This is art more than it is science, a process of iteration and refinement. And everyone knows...

@minion's posts:

  1. @tessar Still not getting it. Your stack and reach example takes no consideration of wheelbase or weight distribution, or rake, or bb height, or anything else that changes the way a bike handles and rides. It’d be nice to be able to simplify things to tha… »

  2. @tessar Once you visualize a person’s fit on a bike as just three points in space – crank, saddle, handlebar – the whole concept of “women’s” specific – or “endurance” vs “race” bikes – becomes moot. There’s a certain stack and reach that a person wi… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Ron Yep, the difference to me on regular width clinchers is pretty negligable – I can’t really pick much difference between 23 and 25mm tyres, but if you had some of the wider rimmed wheels (Hed’s new ardennes are 25mm wide at the brake track) then the 2… »

Finding The V-Locus is something of an extension of the Goldilocks Principle; bars set somewhere between Sit Up and Beg and a face-plant, saddle height somewhere between speed skater and Baryshnikov, and reach somewhere between a unicycle and the Batpod. This is art more than it is science, a process of iteration and refinement. And everyone knows...

@minion's posts:

  1. @girl Yep. The coach/LBS guy should be professional and probably know what you’re trying to describe because they’d have heard it before. For what it’s worth I’ve been doing weekend work in a bike shop here in Canberra, and think that the design of sad… »

  2. I ge the feeling a bunch of blokes discussing women’s saddles is like a pack of virgins exchanging their best pick up lines. All the best intentions but not much of a fucken clue, really. @girl Is your bike level on the trainer? »

  3. @imakecircles Dura-Ace SPD – R. Metal cleats and enough spring tension that you’d never get enough force by twisting your ankle to accidentally pull a pedal. The trackies use the straps for a couple of reasons – if they snap the toe off a plastic cleat… »

  4. I actually fully endorse the fact that, now that Lemond is the winningest Yank cyclist ever, that he’s getting the cudos he deserves and isn’t being showered in you-know-what by you-know-who from a great height. Fuck Armstrong was an absolute piece of shi… »

  5. @frank We probably did fight but the make up sex was unbelievable. Australia’s like the fucking Borg, assimilation is inevitable. »