Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: minion

Order: Black Order Velominatus

Pedant

@minion's activity:

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. Thats not my bike but it’s identical to the one I had – but yeah I probably committed a lot of the same sins. Deep, heavy al rims with a superstiff al frame make for a great ride when you don’t know any better. The best thing was the paint job that went f… »

  2. @wiscot This is my first road bike, I think it says alot. Got into cycling in the 90s, aluminium not steel, started on STI not downtube shifters, thought getting smashed to shit by a bike was the norm. Jan Ullrich was my gateway drug into pro cycling… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. @unversio Sorry to hear about your friend, events such as your friend’s accident always makes you check your perspective on things. Condolences. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. If you do this to it though, I’ll hunt you down. Crimes against bikes that should be punished with castration by stem collision. »

  2. @pistard That thing’s beautiful. Do it now if you haven’t already, it looks immaculate. Might want modern pedals and maybe crank if it’s a funky bcd but that thing is grouse. »

La Vie Velominatus isn’t a part-time gig. La Vie means the life, and The V is my life. Otherwise, I’d be Some V Velominatus, some of the time.Even when I’m not riding my bike, like the last two weeks (for reasons which don’t really matter, and offering them only renders them excuses), I live La Vie through other avenues. Eve...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Jamie That was probably the world’s quickest google search. Does he get called Pynchon-esue at all? (When he’s not being called fucking disgusting) »

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@minion's posts:

  1. Bike too small? Looks pretty short in the tt. Dunno if you’d want or need a 60 cm track bike, but perhaps a 200mm stem would get you in the right spot. Congratulations on the ride, I missed the streaming bit cos I was out riding but it looked great. The … »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. @girl Exactly. I care very little for what other people do with their bikes, given that I’m a massively selfish human being. Im not to proud to ‘deselect’ myself from a bunch and ride by myself for a while if the bunch shits me, and I don’t have a point… »

  2. @scmtns Yeah sure sure, and I bet 15 years ago you had sex with women and lived in a palace with a talking frog. Rule #0 round here is don’t be a dick, it’s assumed to be so obvious that it doesn’t need to get written down but everyone needs a reminder no… »

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Rob A personal favourite is counting laps for riders, “1, 2, 2, 3, 2, (silence) 3, 4, 6…..” Others are “your bike’s fucked” with no further explanation. “Frank the tank!” Down a beer for every lap. After ten or so minutes it won’t matter what you… »

  2. @frank Yo have the best cycling shoes in existence. »

La Vie Velominatus isn’t a part-time gig. La Vie means the life, and The V is my life. Otherwise, I’d be Some V Velominatus, some of the time.Even when I’m not riding my bike, like the last two weeks (for reasons which don’t really matter, and offering them only renders them excuses), I live La Vie through other avenues. Eve...

@minion's posts:

  1. @scaler911 Yarp. In Aus there are 3 or 4 large industrial operations (very slick, plenty of money for lobbying, supply supermarkets, fast food, bakery chains etc) and a few thousand small producers who do it for local supply/true organic. Just like any ga… »

  2. @Jamie I’m not a religious man but Jesus Fucking Christ. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Gianni As far as lugged carbon goes, it must be like suspenders and belts, those bikes are not going to crack at the joints. And they look badass. The Serotta has a lifetime guarantee so that says something. Be careful with this. One international … »

La Vie Velominatus isn’t a part-time gig. La Vie means the life, and The V is my life. Otherwise, I’d be Some V Velominatus, some of the time.Even when I’m not riding my bike, like the last two weeks (for reasons which don’t really matter, and offering them only renders them excuses), I live La Vie through other avenues. Eve...

@minion's posts:

  1. @DerHoggz Fuck no Roo’s awesome. Its the most viable animal on this continent in terms of converting what grows here (two thirds of fuck all) to protein. The local government culls the roos regularly as well, (that’s a separate argument but it stops the… »

  2. In a past life I did some work on behalf of lobby groups, specifically chicken producers and farmers. While I have a lot of respect and time for most farmers, the things the lobbyists wanted to be allowed to do would make Marcus choke on his pet donkey. F… »

  3. @brett Fucking pervert. At least you’re starting to sound like a proper New Zealander now. »

I find it interesting to observe the chasm between parties engaged in a conversation, particularly in response to questions being asked. I’m thinking, at present, of the question, “How many bikes do you have?” My feelings in response are nothing short of complex and maybe a bit confused; reservation that I feel I should have a mo...

@minion's posts:

  1. @frank Seat’s too low. »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Bespoke Stretch. Glutes, hip flexors and hammies. And do some sit ups if you want your lower position to stick! »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Mrs Engine And this! »

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@minion's posts:

  1. Apron? The Cote d’Azure. Look at where we are, these things matter. »

  2. @scaler911 That is fucking insane. You shouldn’t let him stand up for 24 hours before he tries to do this. He’s going to be so fucked afterwards that he probably won’t be able to ride for a considerable period of time. So, so, so fucking stupid. I’d pi… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I thought he’d just been getting on the piss again. @scaler911 I couldn’t even watch it once. Did you find that girl’s dating video where shy’s talking about how much she loves cats? »

  2. @scaler911 You’re making your eventual redemption that much harder every day. »

Addiction is typically defined as a bad thing. Addiction to drugs, to alcohol, sex or even work is usually portrayed as a condition to be battled, to overcome. The same sources may recommend a strict regime of regular exercise and healthy living as the perfect antidote to the bad addictions that befall an overwhelming majority of the general popul...

@minion's posts:

  1. @scaler911 Sweet baby jeebus. For every completely awesome restored tandem you bust out something like this. How do you even use that thing? If I google it am I going to have to burn my laptop afterwards? »