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Velominatus: minion

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@minion's activity:

@minion's posts:

  1. Because I don’t want to be accused of overwhelming cynicism and negativity, it did warm the blackened cockles of my heart to see Frandy (I don’t know which one it was) rolling with the leaders at the end of the stage last night. »

  2. Wiggin’s instagram looks like he’s having a better time than anyone at the race right now… »

  3. On an unrelated note, fuck you Brailsford, Wiggins Wiggins Wiggins! Oi Oi Oi! Porte did exactly what I expected him to do, just a few stages earlier than I expected. For a rider whose main job it is to deliver a team captain to the business end of a clim… »

  4. Bang. I’m loving this race, it’s now in the hands of the guys (Nibali, Contador, J Rod) who are gonna blow the doors off the rest of the race. Tonight’s stage is 200 odd ks on the flat, and I’m flashing back to Saxo destroying the peloton after Valverde c… »

  5. And Froome goes down twice in 2 days. First words out of the commentator’s mouth was something along the lines of Sky taking a risk by leaving off Wiggins….Looks fooookin filthy weather wise. »

  6. There’s on;y one way this can go pear shaped for me and that for the spider humping stick insect to fucking win. I’m also gonna go out on a limb and say Wiggins is going to have a spanking few months, clean clocks at the Comm Games and ride like a fuckin… »

Jump to: Scoring Guidelines • Prizes • Schedule • ResultsThe Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Chris He’s probably thanking the little baby Jeebus he doesn’t have to wear that stupid POC helmet for three weeks. »

@minion's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy It was easy to convince the authorities that Marcus was a woman. I just had to make them look at him. »

@minion's posts:

  1. @Teocalli He’s like a dumber, younger, American Marcus. Preferable in every way, in other words. »

@minion's posts:

  1. It also seems that Pez reads Velominati, beards in the bunch… »

  2. @Beers Around half a watt is the difference a beard makes. That’s less than not lubing your chain every ride, carrying a bidon, and being as fat as I am. (Its winter and I’m living in one of the coldest parts of Australia). It’s negligible in terms of … »

@minion's posts:

  1. @frank Don’t feel bad that despite spending years on a bike you’ve still got the physique of a 12 year old girl. You’ll get there one day. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Bikeworkshop Bristol Eurrgh. None of the fucking rules are about mountain bikes. Apart from the one about not using MTB pedals or accessories on a road bike. »

@minion's posts:

  1. You folically gifted bastards can cram it. »

@minion's posts:

  1. @infinity87 If you saw the state of some of the bikes that come into the shop, you’d probably be pretty stoked to be working on planes that haven’t been either pissed/bled on, ridden through dogcrap, or doused in a litre of wd40 then cleaned with a pres… »

  2. @unversio We do, don’t we. Apologies all round, that was mental laziness on my part. »

  3. @Teocalli Yeah the shop I work in at the moment is like that, we’re moving into a new store that opens onto a shared space with the cafe next door, the shop has been in its current spot for over 20 years. Also, the owners are happy for customers to buy on… »

@minion's posts:

  1. Middle Age!?! HA!!!!! Yeah right. If you’re gonna live to be 200. »

@minion's posts:

  1. Oh yeah and fuck Mick Rogers. I know, I live in Canberra, and round here he’s mythical, but I got a flashback to the bad old days when time trialists won the toughest climbs and chicken-legged climbers won flat TTs. »

  2. Dammit I stayed up to watch last night’s stage and after the dropkick in the WC jersey fucked Bongiorno over, it was kinda boring. Quintana looked like he rode within himself, and really it was up to him to light it up. DOn’t know it it was a crack in his… »

  3. @Daccordi Rider Nipple lube. Tyler could fall off a fucking tricycle in a swimming pool, it looked to me straight away like he’d had his front wheel taken out which means he was overlapping wheels somewhere. I haven’t checked if that was the case, but s… »

The divisive nature of Rule #29 is not to be underestimated. It is but a humble satchel, but our rejection of its use sends people completely out of their minds. One fine gentleman even threatened my editor at Cyclist Magazine with cancellation of his subscription on the basis that they published an article wherein I espoused the virtues of goin...

@minion's posts:

  1. @Haldy I think the UCI has banned them, haven’t they? There were a lot of them for sale round here about 12 months ago. »

@minion's posts:

  1. @Chris I think in my case that would be the equivalent to driving to the race, hopping out the car, swapping the clinchers for the tubs then swapping those for the carbon clinchers and still coming 19th in C grade. And it would rob me of the joy of puri… »

  2. Run what you brung. I ain’t changing a thing, which means that my picks now have either retired, need to re-enter the race in the final week and somehow manage to win. And Heysjedahl? »

@minion's posts:

  1. The one thing that’s helped the most has been getting a new bike and ignoring any pro fit bs. 1.5cm shorter I  the top tube, about a cm higher bars, and I can get my back flatter and more aero, and  an stay there for longer. Its backwards to think that go… »