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Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: monkeyman

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

@monkeyman's activity:

Sur La Plaque: Café Roubaix Haleakala Climbing Wheels

I’m not going to lie to you, friction is an asshole. In the bottom bracket, in the bending of every single link in your chain as it rolls over the cogs and threads its way through the rear derailleur, and in the pulleys themselves, the devils. I cleaned out my rain bike last weekend after a few rides where I was forced to neglect my usual dai...

@monkeyman's posts:

  1. @frank What’s a toe clip strap? »

Truth and Reconciliation

First off, cycling needs a different term for what it would like to convene. To equate cycling’s past with South Africa’s and Liberia’s dark histories is just wrong. Maybe the “I was a lying dick” tribunal. When I hear riders I admire say the past is the past, let’s look forward, I now assume they cheated. Cipo,...

@monkeyman's posts:

  1. @graham d.m. exactly! »

2012 Anti-V Moment of the Year: Bullies are really just pussies

As referenced in the 2012 V-Moment of the year article and ensuing discussion, it was a most Vawesome year for cycling. It’s been hypothesized here and on cycling sites with more integrity that the fantastic racing of 2012 may be, at least in part, attributed to a cleaner peloton. Unless you watched the Tour de France you’d think the da...

@monkeyman's posts:

  1. The price you pay for international douchebaggery is that the world eventually catches on and you just become another Donald Trump. In the end justice will prevail and we’ll be left with a cleaner sport, better, more exciting competition and another name … »

Ride Like a Leader: White Bar Tape

When done correctly, Cycling can be both the hardest and dirtiest of sports. We relish in the glory of returning from a ride, battered by the four winds and soaked by the seven rains; our bodies, faces, and machines covered in the reasons why most people might stay indoors. Given that, there is something almost cavalier about submitting to the delu...

@monkeyman's posts:

  1. Maybe I’m too old school but I was surprised to see that the rules did not include any mention that bar tape MUST BE WHITE. I move that the rules be amended to include it. »

New Rules

The Rules – They were never expected to become this well known. Nor was the list ever going to get this long or be taken this seriously. The Rules were first suggested as a few basic guidelines just to keep some basic civility and decorum on the road. But we took it too far (as we do everything) and now The Rules somehow define the Velominati...

@monkeyman's posts:

  1. Rule #88 should be titled “Either pull, pull-through or pull-off (and no surging!)”. Nothing frustrates me more than noobies who don’t have a clue about the rules of riding a pace line. Of course all town lines must be contested after which we resume th… »