Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: mtnbikerfred

Order: Level 4 Velominatus

Location: Fullerton, California

Fred: 1) n. a person who spends a lot of money on his bike and clothing, but still can't ride. "What a fred -- too much Lycra and titanium and not enough skill." Synonym for poser. Occasionally called a "barney". 2) n. a person who has a mishmash of old gear, does't care at all about technology or fashion, didn't race or follow racing, etc. Often identified by chainring marks on white calf socks. Used by "serious" roadies to disparage utility cyclists and touring riders, especially after these totally unfashionable "freds" drop the "serious" roadies on hills because the "serious" guys were really posers. This term is from road touring and, according to popular myth, "Fred" was a well-known grumpy old touring rider, who really was named Fred.

@mtnbikerfred's activity:

On Rule #64: The Sudden Drop

The severity of a crash exists on two planes, the physical and psychological. The physical is the most obvious and one we busy ourselves with in the immediate vicinity of coming down. Our bodies need time to heal, our kits may need replacing or mending, and our bicycles may need repair work. For weeks and sometimes months, we may carry with us t...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. Rule #81… and most importantly: Was the Bike OK?!?! (Rule 4) »

New Rule: 52 (Plus a Guest Reverence)

With the writing of our first book supposedly well underway (but in reality being discussed ad-nauseum in the Boardroom rather than actually committed to text), The Rules have at least been getting some form of attention from The Keepers. When deciding which Rules each of us were to curate, no-one really had much idea what exactly was in there; ask...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. For rides under two hours and to maintain proper aero efficace I suggest forgoing the bidon altogether… Most hold under 200ml, so I’d go for something 80 proof or better… »

200 on 100

Vermont is spelled with a capital “V”, surely no coincidence. With the loads of mountains and climbs available, it had to start with a “V”. I mean, if it was mountainous enough to draw a runaway “loose” nun who left the church for a sailor, it must be good, right? (Great nordic skiing there—Trapp Family Lodge, if you are there in the...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. Ale in one bottle, Whiskey’n water in the other. »

La Vie Velominatus: Addiction

I feel it in my bones. I feel it in my breathing. I fixate on how much I feel it in my legs to the point where I find myself in a meeting, rubbing them to gauge how soft they’ve gotten. (Must learn to stop doing that in public as it can’t possibly improve my social standing. I’m tempted to cite the fact that I’m a Cyclist an...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @Xyverz You are correct (or close enough). I *might* have used “The Prophet”. I dunno. I think I just meant to delete the 2nd “to” and blew it. »

  2. Hi, My name is Fred, and I’m an Velominaddict. Step 1) We admitted our guns were powerless, and that our lives had become unmanageable without The Rules. Step 2) Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (The V) could restore us. Step 3) Made … »

Guest Article: The Fine Art of Pedaling

Keeper Jim and I came across Meg Fisher during an icy-rain Rule #9 training ride on Mercer Island in March. The first thing that struck us was that there was a good rider up the road, one of the few braving those cold, wet, early morning hours. It wasn’t until we caught up to her that we realized she was riding with a prosthetic leg.The thr...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. Wow! New Rule: Apply The V, if that doesn’t work, chop off one of your legs and shorten your left crank arm. If you’re still complaining after that, stand with your legs slightly spread and let Meg kick you (with the carbon-footed pipe bomb) approximatel… »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @TommyTubolare A thorough understanding and strict adherence to Rule #58 goes a long way here. You might get this done cheaper than the tools you’re only going to use once would cost you (crank puller, BB socket, x-type BB wrench, etc.) If you keep your … »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @Sauterelle.I have boobs. The Velominata FTW!!! »

Keepers Tour 2012 Update, Part 4: A Ronde Ride and Paris-Roubaix

With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even just the Keeper...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @Bianchi Denti Psshhhh. 1 bottle of champagne at the end?!?! Rank amateurs… »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @Mikael LiddyII think someone had seen the Shit Cyclists Say video. www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMCkuqL9IcM »

  2. A-Merckx! »

Velominati Super Prestige: Amstel Gold Race 2012

When people think of the The Netherlands, they generally think of flat lands, windmills, and a topography where people claim to “live at elevation” when their home on the third floor of a building. Never the less, this is not entirely true as The Motherland does, in its most southern reaches, boast quite hilly terrain; the province of...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Joaquím Rodríguez Oliver 2. Phillipe Gilbert 3. Sylvain Chavanel 4. Andy Schleck 5. Lars Boom »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Joaquím Rodríguez Oliver 2. Phillipe Gilbert 3. Sylvain Chavanel 4. Andy Schleck 5. Larm Boom »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @scaler911 Hahaha! The only reason I left the caps on was because they were red! Great for photos. Totally useless otherwise. The hoods are pretty much straight off the end of the bend. The appearance of being angled up is purely a photographic artifact… »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. The Rules, much like the Constitution of United States of America and the Holy Bible are subject to interpretation by the individual. We the Velominati, choose to apply them to our lives wherever possible. They are not merely judicial laws with consequenc… »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. We’ll it’s just a start, but let the upgrades begin… Immediately, the saddle had to go, and I had the carbon stem which I knew I would need for the fit. There was nothing wrong with the stock wheels. Sure they were a little heavy (1800g), but they were… »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. #90 Rester Sur La Plaque, vous débile! My unfortunate riding buddies will have to hear/tolerate the worst French-sounding outbursts from me now. Even if it’s self inflicted…. »

Waiting for My Bike

Points of complication are usually both surprising and completely predictable. Take, for instance, international travel. We don’t really have trouble cramming a few hundred people who don’t know each other in a small, confined space and chucking in the air at 9,000 meteres to a destination several thousand kilometers away. That bit, a...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @brett Not breathing easy until we see pics of said bike fully intact and undamaged upon cobbles… »

On Rule #9: Love the Work

Fitness. The rhythm, the feeling of precision in our movement, the sensations of The Ride. The temptation of knowing we might in some way control our suffering even as we push harder in spite of the searing pain in our legs and lungs. The notion that through suffering, we might learn something rudimentary about ourselves – that we might f...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. @Vin’cenza IMHO (not personal experience) the recovery is quicker if you get a plate, but there are often complications. So If you can keep yourself in shape with indoor sports for 3 months, go for it. Otherwise enjoy knowing you’ll be peaking enough sinc… »

Cobbles, Bergs, Beer, and Legends. Putting the V Back in Vlaanderen.

It has been a busy couple of weeks in the Velominati Boardroom as we’ve been scrambling to finalize a few partnerships and get all the products for the Keepers Tour customers designed and produced. Suffice to say, fists and beers were slammed in tandem as we feverishly worked out the final designs.Producing V-Pints, V-Shirts, and V-Musettes...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. Just outstanding guys! »

Fatigue

Those things in life that are worth having are those things which are difficult to come by; perseverance is made more rewarding by the volume of messages ignored by the mind as we work towards a goal.Fatigue comes in many forms and is normally framed in negative connotations; weariness, exhaustion – both things to avoid. For a Cyclist, it can...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. Man… To think I was 2nd guessing my hardness. To make the 13.5km ride into work today at a bone-chilling (for SoCal) 46°. Was the shifter frozen or was it just our bikes and our brains conspiring against us? I swear I heard “Sur La Plauque you frozen sa… »

La Vie Velominatus: Train Properly

There are few pleasures in life as great as to achieve a goal, to accomplish something that doesn’t come easily. Great lessons are taught through this activity; we learn that it is our determination and not our doubt that defines our limits. We learn that through studied discipline we can cultivate the skills required to work incrementally to...

@mtnbikerfred's posts:

  1. So after years of riding Mountain, BMX, etc. I decided to get another road bike. It’d been years. I had inherited an Italian made Bianchi with Campagnolo on it in my early teens, but I outgrew it. I had a CX bike for a bit, but it was a single speed, and … »