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Velominatus: paolo

Order: Level 2 Velominatus

Location: Los Angeles ( sucking the soul out of cycling since 2008)

An English man in self imposed exile. I can often be found riding a Cervelo in the hills above Malibu. I find there are worse ways to pass the time....

@paolo's activity:

There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistical...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @Marko Wow…greatest post in the History of Velominati.   Marko makes more sense in one post than Frank makes in an entire interwebs.  The POC is god awful though sorry to say. Anyone wondering about asthma, inhalers and the peloton should read Phil G… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @ajones03 #97 Don’t let your first post be a new rule.  Also don’t mistype your first post. »

I don’t know how a guy who shows off the better part of a half meter of seat post comes to the conclusion that his saddle is too low, but that precise thought occupies an enormous amount of time. Ever closer looms the minimum insertion point on my seat pin, yet I am irrevocably bound to explore its limits.I actually wish my legs were shorter...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @frank All things being equal and your hygiene being what it should be, saddle sores can be caused by chaffing from the slight rocking motion of pedaling if your seat is set slightly too high.  It ain’t necessarily so, but it could be.  Which is what I… »

  2. My knees were telling me I was too low.  My undercarriage begged to differ.  It was a problem throughout 2013.  In December I got a fit from the cleats up.  I’m further back, I was not too low, I was too far forward.   As a result my knees are fine, my pe… »

I met a nice character a few weeks ago on a magnificent ride through the Bay Area. He rode a Colnago C-50 which was so filthy that I was unable to ascertain with any degree of certainty what color it was painted. I spent most of the ride suppressing the impulse to lead him and his bike through a local car wash. As it turns out, he’s based o...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @Chris Not quite sure what you guys are on about when a 16oz spray bottle costs $10. Maybe I should start my own export company. Frank is right though, it’s the dogs bollocks! »

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with t...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Helens Cycles in Santa Monica, Broad Street.  Check them out on the web, you can get a cannondale for $65 a day.   If you are off Thurs afternoon then you could save a lot of time by getting it then.   Santa Monica is only about 10 miles or so no… »

  2. @doubleR Oh..didnt see this…Yep double r I’d probably be up for  a ride!! »

  3. @ChrisO Hi Chris.  I am in LA and as it happens ( but I am a velobrit) I’m working Thurs night and get off that morning, I might be able to ride.   The best riding is in the Santa Monicas which you could easily access by driving up the pch north of Sant… »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@paolo's posts:

  1. Just a heads up for anyone in the US who may not have seen it, there is now 4.5 hrs of  “as live”  coverage streaming on nbcsports.com  under livestreaming…replays. »

  2. Final 10 k is already up on youtube »

  3. @frank I Have ATT U verse and they don’t carry Universal either!   Other than that they have been excellent and I would never go back to Directv or Time Warner.   Did Universal have PR on?  I really do fear for the future of Cycling coverage on NBC, they… »

  4. @frank NBC Sports are really screwing things up this year, no Flanders, PR not on live…at least they streamed it for free.   I wonder if there is going to be less and less coverage on this shite channel as they show more and more NHL and Bull Riding!!… »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@paolo's posts:

  1. Hmmm I dreamt that pozzato wins, bizarre.    Squeekers you do know that boonen is out no? heads up mofos bien tv has hi lights on Monday »

I came strongly into the Fall, stronger than in other years thanks to a late-season objective to do well at my first Heck of the North gravel classic in Minnesota. I was light and I had built good power and endurance by riding the steep gravel roads that pepper the North Cascades and suffering through brutal interval sessions on the windswept stre...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @Joe And even though I have ridden my ass off all Winter I still won’t be able to keep up with you on Latigo…..bastard! »

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @paolo Roma Maxima…not Maximus.  My Latin does not extend past semper ubi sub ubi. »

  2. @Gianni actually I shave my legs during time off (sickness injury etc) in order to still feel like a cyclist. I find it cheers me up and makes me feel like coming back is right around the corner. preach Marko, preach. Btw people I don’t know where to p… »

The most important moment in a man’s life is the first time they have a beer. I place it on the list above sex and having a child because sex usually only happens as a direct result of drinking beer. As for having children, I’m given to understand they are poop factories at first, then promptly become loud, and then obnoxious before the...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @mcsqueak Nah the problem is when you brew your own and then you DON’T have sixty bottles on hand…. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @Paul So Moses is in the wilderness for 40 years and then he finally gets down Mount Sinai for the second time with these pillars of stone see, and the very first person he comes across reads the pillars and they go, ” hmmm, that’s pretty good moshi but … »

Welcome to the Kermis. It’s not a recycling, it’s a reintroduction. The idea is to repost an old article that still resonates today and see where it goes. We will endeavor not to abuse this feature.I’ve referred to Frank’s fantastic Perfect Amount of Dumb article at least five times in my own posts. My reference is usually that I’m dumb b...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @wiscot Actually Joseph Van Daele won in 1911.  Phil Gil was 100 years later. »

I’ve never been able to decide if choices are a gift or a curse; a lack of choices introduces simplicity but also with it the risk that the simple choices do not meet the demands of a complex world. An abundance of similar choices, on the other hand, often reduces the impact of getting things a little bit wrong, but also decreases the thought...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @frank When you’re right you’re right.  Spot on. Only maybe more so! »

  2. @Ron I’m going to jump right in and draw a conclusion without all the facts, Velominati styleee.  Facts, as I think Frank once said, they just get in the way…. The noie you hear is the well worn chain skipping right over the well worn teeth of your s… »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @gaswepass Bike Religion. They have a web site, scroll to the bottom and they have an extensive rental programme for all types of bikes.   Watch out on the PCH…nut case drivers.   If you google previous years for the Orange County Grand Fondo you can … »

2013 was The Year of the Anti-V. In every other year, the Velominati Cogclave to decide the V and The Anit-V awards is full of curses and thrown pint glasses, usually in defense of each of our chosen V-Moments. 2013 saw the same scene, except this time it was for us having too many competing Anti-V Moments and when it came time to discuss the V-Mom...

@paolo's posts:

  1. @scaler911 What do you mean exactly by “prepared” ?    ( said…or typed, with a mischevious grin!) »

  2. @Jon B Such a shame Jon B…we are all in desperate need of your validation. »

  3. Fantastic!   Excellent choice.    Btw I think the ‘on the bike’ anti v moment may well have been Twigglet at the Giro.  Poor, very poor. »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

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