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Velominatus: ralph

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@ralph's activity:

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ralph's posts:

  1. Basic Pedalwan question here. I have inherited a 1973 Schwinn Continental that is in the later stages of a complete overhaul (but keeping the original paint). I’ve got the shift levers installed on the bars and the cables run, so now I’m ready to re-wrap … »

  2. @wiscot I am here to say that if you get this guy, or one of his like-minded compatriots, to hold your bike for the picture you do not have to worry about crank angle, valve stem location, or much of anything else; you still have a Most Epic picture of… »

This is possibly the most offensive piece of gear I have encountered on a bike. Do you really need a little orange wand to tell you what gear you’re in? There is only one gear to be in: the hardest one at which you can still make the pedals go around in something resembling a circle.These goofy little things were found on the bike I rented la...

@ralph's posts:

  1. @eenies This thread has taken a quick turn to the ridiculous. I thought the conversation should have ended at “It’s the Indian, not the arrow.” »

  2. @razmaspaz I would point out that while none of US would ever do it, some people may find a need to shift from the big ring to the small one. Knowing that you’ve run out of rear cogs and that the next downshift is going to require changing chainrings i… »

  3. @TBONE I suspect it depends on whether you do a lot of skidding on the track. Speaking of which, I recently read “Gold” by Christopher Cleave, and while it’s a bit of a Movie of the Week story it focuses on three characters who are Olympic-level track ra… »

  4. Until earlier this year, my #1 bike looked roughly like the above. (Not my actual bike, and I did make a few improvements, such as clipless pedals, no reflectors, and a saddle that hadn’t been chewed by the dog). I had smooth road tires on it, but the d… »

Since it appears that the descents are where the action is in this year’s Tour de France, we thought we’d forgo our usual Mountain-Top Finish for the Stage VSP and instead go for what I’m guessing might be a real cracker of a stage into Le Grand Bornand. In 2009, the Schleck Tandem hadn’t yet discovered their collective dra...

@ralph's posts:

  1. With little to no clue (see Tour VSP picks for confirmation) I am going with the current rankings in the KOM standings. VSP PICKS: 1. froome chris 2. QUINTANA ROJAS Nairo Alexander 3. NIEVE ITURRALDE Mikel 4. ROLLAND Pierre 5. RODRIGUEZ OLIVER Joaquin »

There are lots of things to like about Vroomie Froomie, like his willingness to accept the fact that people are inclined to question his performances. Aside from me resenting him for leading a Tour which everyday becomes a little less exciting, he seems quite a likable guy; he is polite, respectful of the sport, wears team-issue bibs with his yell...

@ralph's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka +1 on Porte. When he fell off the back near the end I figured he was done for the day, and getting back to the lead both then and after the crash was some seriously inspired riding. As for Froome – it seems to me that this is a race, not a … »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@ralph's posts:

  1. I’m not getting into the “Did he or didn’t he?!?” conversation about Froome, but I did just watch the 2000 stage up Mont Ventoux where COTHO and Pantani climbed with the afterburners on. That was one hell of a climb by both of them, and the way Lance back… »

  2. @ten B I assumed it was because he tested positive for the use of emoticons in postings here… »

I’m not too proud to admit to having multiple phobias against various things. That’s phobia multiplicity. Having a phobia against something is very simliar to having a normal phobia, except that in addition to being irrationally scared of something, you also harbor a stifling grudge against it. Also possibly irrationally.For example,...

@ralph's posts:

  1. I’m with @deakus on this; all of the men on my side of the family have Freakishly Large But Mostly Ornamental calves, and it does nothing to help my speed on the bike. I too think it has something to do with the Freakishly Large But Not At All Aesthetic r… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ralph's posts:

  1. @andrew You didn’t hear this from me, but I recently purchased one of those seat-post bottle holders that the Cycling Shit Sandwich guys/gals made famous. Here in the Sunny Southland I cannot do a 3-4 hour ride on 2 bottles, and I live far enough out i… »

The early eighties saw the tide change in the European Peloton. Components were taking on a new, curvy shape as they left their boxy forms behind. The glint of toe clips in the sun would become a rarer sight as the move towards clipless pedals would take hold in 1985. English speakers were winning the big races classically won by continental Pros.T...

@ralph's posts:

  1. Plus, I now get to rank below all of the people who have no correct picks, with my current score of -7. Woohoo! »

  2. Well, the hope of seeing Sagan squeeze one of the podium girls in Paris isn’t going to happen, so I’m going to try swapping in some new names. Baby needs a new pair of shoes!!! VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps): 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Valverde Alejandro … »

  3. @Marcus Unless I completely misheard this, I’m pretty sure that on Day 1 I heard “Beautiful day here – not a cloud in the sky,” which at least matched the picture on screen at that instant. However, about 10 seconds later the shot from a different point… »

  4. Trying again as the magic matching script got Quintana wrong VSP PICKS: 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Sagan 4. Nairo Quintana 5. Voeckler »

  5. Decided to bet on the Spanish Beefsteak instead of my previous febrile choice of Evans VSP PICKS: 1. Contador 2. Froome 3. Sagan 4. Quintana 5. Voeckler »

  6. All of the plausible choices seem to have been picked, so I’m going to try throwing it way down field and see if somebody can come up with it in the end zone. Great set of prizes! VSP PICKS: 1. Evans 2. Contador 3. Sagan 4. Froome 5. Voeckler »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@ralph's posts:

  1. @CanuckChuck Do you want the authors to burn the edges of the pages, or are you hoping for them to sing the text of the book in the company of a choral group? Or am I just one of those Internet Dweebs who makes pointless fun of typographical errors?!? »

  2. Copy ordered as a gift for my sister, who is one of those people who ride a bike but is not yet a Cyclist. (Last picture I have of her shows her proudly attired in the YJA, and latest email indicates that she doesn’t feel comfortable removing a QR rear wh… »

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days can we understand the scale of the thing...

@ralph's posts:

  1. Paying my money and taking my chances. VSP PICKS: 1. Chavanel 2. Boassen Hagen 3. Cancellara 4. Hushovd 5. Roelandts »

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag (filled with V-Kit, shoes, helmet, everything) is. The other thing that h...

@ralph's posts:

  1. Apologies if this has been answered, but I’m trying to scare up a video feed for the US in advance of the race actually starting. I have a subscription to Cycling TV, but evidently that’s going to get me a 5-minute recap of the race, which hardly seems li… »

Gent (Deinze)-Wevelgem, it starts with 130 km of cruising around Belgium and Northern France followed by a flurry of bergs and then a final 38 km of  flatter riding to the inevitable sprint finish. How hard can the climbing be if Super Mario got over them? Ask the riders from KT 2012, (the ones not in the following car) and they will tell you...

@ralph's posts:

  1. With Easter almost here it didn’t seem right to pass over (!) somebody named Jesus. VSP PICKS: 1. Peter Sagan 2. Filippo Pozzato 3. Mark Cavendish 4. Edvald Boasson Hagen 5. Jesus Herrada »

If I spent half a summer riding with one hand on the tops and one on the hoods, I spent the other half riding with each hand deliberately gripping the hoods differently. As any young Cyclist growing up in the United States in the late 80s, I had a major thing for Greg LeMond.I imagined Greg to be the perfect Cyclist, as youth often does of their...

@ralph's posts:

  1. @Spun Up I’m going to go out on a limb here and state that any hood position copied from a picture of The Prophet cannot, by definition, be in violation of The Rules. »

Finally, we have Milan-Sanremo. I hope pedale.forcetta is ready to shoot some pictures, especially black and white because it will be cold and possibly wet. Throw in a little wind and a race of this distance will weed out the less hardy. Recently, but not too recently, this race would be won out of a decent size field sprint. And yet, besides Fabs...

@ralph's posts:

  1. Does @Gianni get some to wear the Understatement Jersey for the following lines from the race description? Of course, the race also weeded out Boonen, who appeared to be one of the Hardy Belgians (sorry for the redundancy), so I’d say it was more than a… »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

  • One word, old mate…………camera.

  • Mindfulness–and let’s just pass right over the idea of compassion for the moment–isn’t easy when it’s hard. When...

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