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Velominatus: roadslave525

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: London

roadslave believes that we don't choose cycling... it chooses us. He tried for 35 years to hide from his destiny, playing front-row rugby, and being too stubborn to admit he was too small to row, until he was dragged, kicking and screaming to the prologue of the 2007 Tour de France in London. From that moment on, he was hooked. He lives in London, has two children and a long-suffering wife, and believes that somewhere, deep inside of him is a perfectly competent cyclist waiting to get out. It's a work in progress... XXL in 2009, XL in 2010 and L in 2011... eventually he'll be wearing a jersey that doesn't cover his (by that stage, bony) arse. However, at that point he'll probably have to stop drinking bottles and bottles of red wine, his other great passion. His favourite rules are Rule 9 and Rule 12... Rule V is, obviously, compulsory. He never rides alone, because inside his head he hears voices: Jorgen Leth's voiceover man, Paul Sherwen, Phil Liggett. He secretly believes that 'Breaking Away' is a documentary, and that 'The Rider' is only a work of fiction.

@roadslave525's activity:

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with t...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @DCR This is Filmore Street, San Francisco.  The Rapha Cafe is at the foot of this awesomely steep climb.  I assume the keepers will be doing a flat out ascent after their book signing in front of screaming fans in the big ring? Beginning of May is ge… »

I would have to start training to even do a recovery ride. And I would have to own a cyclometer, HRM, and the unavoidable watt meter. And all that would tell me what I already don’t want to know. Ignorance is bliss until some teenager on a mountain bike gets by you and at that point you better not have a watt meter on your bike. Still, we hav...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @teocalli great article.  I too have a problem with recovery rides.  Its that my heart rate never stays in Zone 2.  My resting heart rate is 55 (which I’m pretty chuffed with – in 2007 BC (before cycling), when I weighed 107kg, my resting heart rate was 9… »

The 100th running of Liège-Bastogne-Liège takes place this Sunday. Danny-boy Martin will be marked heavily as the defending champion. Malmerde, and Phil Gil have shown they are peaking too. Froomy has thrown his hat into the ring, as he did last year but after last years 26th place, maybe it’s training. 263 kms, past winners include a long...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. Hoping this gets submitted this time »

Jump to: Scoring Guidelines • Prizes • Schedule • ResultsThe Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. should be ‘there’ rather than ‘their’ (obviously) in last post.  Would hate to irritate the pedants. »

  2. @Frank Hey, hope you are well.  I’m having some problems with VSP (and website in general)… in that posts aren’t showing up, and it isn’t allowing me to submit picks… it happened with women’s Flèche Wallone and is happening with La Doyenne…. have tr… »

The 100th running of Liège-Bastogne-Liège takes place this Sunday. Danny-boy Martin will be marked heavily as the defending champion. Malmerde, and Phil Gil have shown they are peaking too. Froomy has thrown his hat into the ring, as he did last year but after last years 26th place, maybe it’s training. 263 kms, past winners include a long...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Valverde 2. Gilbert 3. Mollema 4. Nibali 5. Froome »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Gilbert 2. Valverde 3. Kwiatkowski 4. Costa 5. Mollema »

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path, not the end. In pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we know of no end to the Path; each of us journey through an endless evolution of understanding and reverence. As such, The Word continues to be handed down from high upon Mount Velominis and The Rules continue to be expanded upon. Today we present you with t...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. Celebrity book signings; link ups with Rapha cafes on both coasts; foreword by Greg Lemond… where did it all go so wrong? Chapeau, chaps on your US publication.  UK first edition was a cracking read, and am sure this will carry on from where that left … »

  2. Chapeau, chaps on US publication date.  First edition was a cracking book, and sounds like this will carry on where that left off.   Love the V. V publication date… Day after Star Wars Day (May the Fourth be with you – boom). Celebrity book signings; li… »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. I tried, I really did.  But I can’t bet against Fabs when he has developed the ability to win, even when he isn’t the strongest (see RvV 14, P-R 13).  His positioning in the finale at Flanders last week (leeward side, on Vanmarke’s shoulder as Van Avamaet… »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Armitstead 2. Stevens 3. Van Dijk 4. Johanssen 5. Borghini »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. If Sep Van Marke does a top V again, I’ll kick myself VSP PICKS: 1. Cancellara 2. Boonen 3. Sagan 4. Devolder 5. Stybar »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. Should probably have put in more ‘Vans’, this being Belgium an all.  Vanmark is probably going to crush it now. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Degenkolb 3. Van Avamaert 4. Stybar 5. Stannard »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. Feck.  Gerrans.  Sorry Chava. VSP PICKS: 1. Cavendish 2. Degenkolb 3. Gerrans 4. Sagan 5. Stannard »

  2. The start of the season.  Both the sun and the cherry blossoms are out, and – even though it is still cold enough for Flandrien best – there are people in shorts and flip flops in London’s parks.  All in all, it’s a time for dreaming… A time for optimis… »

I don’t know if its because I see something of myself in them or if it awakens some kind of nurturing instinct, but I always seem to find myself drawn to tragically flawed figures.Layne Staley and Marco Pantani strike me as two halves of the same whole; incredibly talented yet tortured with mortally addictive personalities, both set loose in...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. RIP Marco »

ChrisO is back with another installment of Suffering in the Desert. Enjoy. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @ChrisO Fucken spot on, mate.  Spot on.  Great job, great write-up.  Nails.  “The cracks in the pack ice. There may only be a few metres between each slab but it’s a hard swim from one to the other, and I’m feeling more panda than polar this morning.”  Po… »

I read recently that a number of Pros like to ride the turbo for an hour or so before having breakfast in the morning to jump start the old metabolic system. Which means that now I ride the trainer for an hour in the morning before breakfast. I think the Pros probably do it to lose weight, and I do it partly for that reason but also to burn off th...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @frank Guilty.  Although to be fair, I’m always talking about Looking Fantastic – just wish I could look it occasionally.  At least I’m not the one publishing articles on the inter webs about turbo trainers #nerd #yesiknow »

  2. OK, it didn’t work.  I’ll try pasting it as a picture, or @Frank, I’ll email you the spreadsheet.  Sorry for cluttering up feed… you might want to delete the above post. »

  3. I hope pasting in from Excel works, but @Frank you might find this table helpful – it is my own-derived power matrix for the Revolution trainer with gear down the left hand side, cadence across the top, and roughly what power that should translate to.  I … »

2013 was The Year of the Anti-V. In every other year, the Velominati Cogclave to decide the V and The Anit-V awards is full of curses and thrown pint glasses, usually in defense of each of our chosen V-Moments. 2013 saw the same scene, except this time it was for us having too many competing Anti-V Moments and when it came time to discuss the V-Mom...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @deakus I hear ya.  It’s like the stage to Saint Amand Montrond.  as David Walsh tweeted… “173km flat stage.  Cav wins in a sprint.”  If I’d taken that at face value (I.e. Been unable to read irony), would’ve missed one of the most exciting, strategic s… »

  2. Agree with all of the above, but do think Froome, winning solo atop the Ventoux, in the yellow jersey and the number 1, and then needing oxygen at the top, deserves at least a mention.  Last, and only time that has happened:  1970, a certain E Merckx.  Ju… »

There are many revered places in Cycling, places that are instantly recognisable, places that command their own special page in history and in our memories for the great battles held upon them. Most likely the names you’ll think of first would be the great mountain climbs of the Grand Tours, l’Alpe d’Huez, Ventoux, Zoncolan, Stelv...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. @brett Errr… Except Chris Hoy:   Www.hoybikes.com great article as ever, and I agree… Super design of those Ravito guys »

Every once in a while, you stumble across a quote that changes your outlook on how you approach life. Of course, this requires that one does a good deal of “reading”, which is a problem for me, as reading anything that isn’t Cycling-related feels the same as doing “work”. I do the odd bit of it nevertheless, and in a r...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. I’m breaking my self-imposed Internet embargo to say good job.  Really good job. Am SO stoked »

Before the New Year, it was my ride up Haleakala. At present, it’s Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2013. Before Haleakala, it was one of the various Cyclocross races and before that the Zoo Hill Time Trial. The targets change, but throughout my life as a Velominatus, there always seems to be a goal looming over the horizon which spurs me on. T...

@roadslave525's posts:

  1. AMerckx to that.   Le métier.  It’s a noble calling… Even if you lack the genes , fitness and physiology of the pros.  Training for the sake of training.  I’ll paint that bridge.  Whatever colour you want. »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

  • @DeKerr

    Indeed, great story. What year was it published? I could not find the date. Mentions Pharmstrong’s...

  • @Ron

    YES! Ron, we have a date with DESTINY!!! Or a ride, not sure which? Either way, some of us are going to do...

  • @kixsand best of luck. Have fun and ask lots of questions!

  • Holy fuck! Anyone have any hot deals on GoPros and helmet mounts?

    Or maybe small firearms and bibshort holsters?

  • @PeakInTwoYears hear, hear. I to am fortunate to ride in friendlier climes

  • One word, old mate…………camera.

  • Mindfulness–and let’s just pass right over the idea of compassion for the moment–isn’t easy when it’s hard. When...

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