Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: scaler911

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: Vancouver WA

Cat II (USA Cycling), Cat III (OBRA), also weekend warrior/ armchair cycling critic.

@scaler911's activity:

The Elasticity of Time: The Hour

The Theory of Special Relativity states that time for a moving object passes more quickly than for a stationary object. Einstein, in deriving this theory, demonstrated great insight and creative power for which he is considered perhaps the greatest mind in human history. If he had owned a set of rollers, however, he’d be considered a common...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @minion The owner of Veloforma said that they have the largest ava plastic track bike on the market right now at 59cm. At least I think I recall him saying that. »

  2. Nice job on the edited video. The spinning V Cog is a great touch. That happen during pizza, or back at de Casa? I also have been thinking that next year, maybe 2 of us should make a run at it. Always wanted to have a go at the hour since it’s the one and… »

The Bikes

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @minion Those rigs were like riding a tuning fork or a chunk of railroad track. Climbed like a raped ape tho, soooo stiff at the time. The shop where I cut my teeth as a wrench sold those and Bianchi. And a short stint with Softride. »

Merry Festum Prophetae

This photo is perhaps the greatest of all time; it shows The Prophet riding in the 1969 Ronde van Vlaanderen, kit and machine perfect. Rule #9 conditions in abundance. He’s gone off the front with some 80km left to race, which predictably sent his directeur into a rage. Ordered to return to the bunch, Merckx calmly suggested he go screw hi...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. What I did yesterday: covered breaks for my teammate that’s high in the series (and attacked. a lot): »

  2. @Marcus Prolly #5. Behind a few of the “most venomous shit on the planet” critters you have there. »

  3. @asyax Dooode! I prefer riding close to semi trucks over seeing off leash dogs while out on the whip. Bummer. @Daccordi Rider Reason #175 I don’t want to live in Australia. I’ll never get crashed by a Kangaroo here. Ever. »

  4. @Nate That’s dead sexy right there. Whacha going to kit it up with? Or is that a surprise? »

  5. @wiscot Well, you may want to ask @G’rilla where his priorities ended up that night. Happy birthday Eddy! I’ll celebrate by launching myself off the front in a shot for glory at the “Monday Night Master’s Weekly World Champs”, then follow with a tasty b… »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @unversio Sorry to hear about your friend. Always tough. We lost a teammate early in the season. Sympathy’s are with you……. »

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Chris Awesomeness squared! She’s got the focus for sure. Great job!! »

  2. @ChrisO Ultimately I don’t think he did the ride on the Power Tap wheel. Switched out at the last minute to one with a different rear cog (a 14t in case you wondered). But I think that next time, even with his reluctance to use a Garmin, it’ll be easie… »

The Rules

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @scmtns Well you sound like a really fun guy to hang out with. Next time your in town, you’re more than welcome to come out on a team ride with me and my boys (or our women’s team which I’m sure could more than handle you). I promise that we won’t even … »

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Wow. What a day/ night. So I had to keep the swearing to a minimum since just at the top of the track, and near the end, there were a lot of kids around. Alpenrose is a dairy and “family fun time” place. Of course, it’s been decided, that like Haleakala,… »

On Rule #43: Notes for Bike Inspectors

This week’s Guest Article comes from our friend, @blacktoolpower (l) and our editor Drummond Moir (r). In anticipation of our book’s imminent release, these two donned their lab coats and headed out to the streets of London to assess the state of Rule Compliance in the city’s commuter crowd. Always remember: leave this kind of ins...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. Fan-fucking-tastic! I wouldn’t have the Jacob’s to do that in Portland. (replace “walking” with “riding”). »

Festum Prophetae: The Impossible Hour

Update: You can watch the live stream (assuming it works from the velodrome) on the Velominati channel at USTREAM. When you log in, you’ll first see my little test video of my puppy eating grass. Please disregard me yelling at it. That never happened.I have always considered myself to have a good imagination, something I attribute half to my...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Buck Rogers I often wonder how Frank keeps his cool when we’re all pissy about VSP picks/ errors. I’d never volunteer to do what you’re doing. »

  2. @Patrick It is. Except for stuff like this: And this: »

  3. @Rob Me. And G’rilla. We’ll be yelling encouraging stuff at him like “my grandma can ride faster than that, and she’s got a broken hip”. You know, being supportive. »

  4. @Rob We have more strip clubs and micro breweries per capita than anywhere in the country. There isn’t a virgin within 1000K of Portland. »

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2013

The mighty VSP generator has been switched on once again. The mil-spec hydraulic fluid has been changed since the Giro. A new power take-off belt has also been installed. And the punch card reader has been refurbished.Broome and Berti are already riding the Critérium du Dauphiné. The top contenders prefer the Dauphiné for the decent recovery all...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy 24.9 mph= 40kph 134.8 miles = 216.9 Km 9483ft = 2890M That help? »

V to the Vth Degree

La Vie Velominatus isn’t a part-time gig. La Vie means the life, and The V is my life. Otherwise, I’d be Some V Velominatus, some of the time.Even when I’m not riding my bike, like the last two weeks (for reasons which don’t really matter, and offering them only renders them excuses), I live La Vie through other avenues. Eve...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @minion My father in law works for Foster Farms (which for non-Americans is where a metric to the nth shit ton of our chicken comes from). He oversees the “grow out ranches” where the chicks go from fluff balls to dinner in 43days. I went to work with h… »

  2. @mcsqueak Was just at the grocer and Mrs. Scaler purchased (for the weekend): pork, beef and bacon (which of course is better pork). I can also lop the head off a chicken in the back yard if that’s not enough animal protein for after the attempt. That … »

On Rule #12: Graveur Robber

I find it interesting to observe the chasm between parties engaged in a conversation, particularly in response to questions being asked. I’m thinking, at present, of the question, “How many bikes do you have?” My feelings in response are nothing short of complex and maybe a bit confused; reservation that I feel I should have a mo...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @TommyTubolare That tol is the bomb diggity. I need to get me one. The shop I wrenched at had a couple. Saves a ton of work when stringing cable. »

  2. @frank Tell you what I see. The only other Blue that I know about besides tri bikes in Ironman. And that’s a beautiful thing. »

Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de Suisse 2013

The mighty VSP generator has been switched on once again. The mil-spec hydraulic fluid has been changed since the Giro. A new power take-off belt has also been installed. And the punch card reader has been refurbished.Broome and Berti are already riding the Critérium du Dauphiné. The top contenders prefer the Dauphiné for the decent recovery all...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. As I just told the Dutch Monkey, this will make you want to sell all your kit and take up knitting (from yesterdays ToS): Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

On Rule #12: Graveur Robber

I find it interesting to observe the chasm between parties engaged in a conversation, particularly in response to questions being asked. I’m thinking, at present, of the question, “How many bikes do you have?” My feelings in response are nothing short of complex and maybe a bit confused; reservation that I feel I should have a mo...

@scaler911's posts:

  1. @frank dude. (in a tone not conveyable in text). That’s a beautiful whip. And I’m saying it again. If there’s room, you should bring it with you this weekend, just so I can have it in the shop. @chipomarc Good for you. You must have no soul if you th… »

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