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Velominatus: slatanic

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Ireland, up from Kellys house.

@slatanic's activity:

White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long som...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. White bar tape, the cognoscenti’s choice…. »

When done correctly, Cycling can be both the hardest and dirtiest of sports. We relish in the glory of returning from a ride, battered by the four winds and soaked by the seven rains; our bodies, faces, and machines covered in the reasons why most people might stay indoors. Given that, there is something almost cavalier about submitting to the delu...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. Unless your beloved is a Bianchi (Celest only please) then bar tape must be white, anything else shows how much you take you beloved for granted…. Black tape is truly is a sad sight in the eye of a cognoscenti :(   »

Brett’s fine Nick Cave article got me thinking about music and cycling. We spend lots of time alone on our bikes. The bike is on autopilot, it stays upright from second to second, freeing up our brains to consider anything or nothing. Music might be the only riding companion we have but it has to be the right music. Being as Pro as possible is...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. Music on the bike is out. Full stop. Music while warming up for a hill-climb TT or some other act of self mutilation ………. Then is can only be…. SLAYER.>> How anyone can listen to the haunting so… »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. Roman Kreuziger has always looked classy drilling it at the head of the pelaton or on a mountain side. Nico Roche is 100% rule compliant on the bike, looks fantastic at all times.  »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. 1. Moreno 2. Gilbert 3. Valverde 4. Kwiatkowski 5. Martin pow….. that just happened…. »

What, another guest post? Seemingly yes, but in fact we are keeping to our every-other Friday guest post schedule. We must Keep The Schedule! @Harminator’s post about pigs was the little seen “pop-up” article; a confluence of Paris-Roubaix, Orchies pigs and Jupiler beer. These things go very bad, very fast if not served quickly. @...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. The photo is Kelly going up Patrick’s hill in Cork. Just in front of him was Sean Yeats suffering even more!!  It’s a classic photo of 2 real hard men putting it up to each other…. »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Van Avermaet 2. Stybar 3. Vanmarcke 4. Cancellara 5. Degenkolb »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Fabian Cancellara 2. Tom Boonen 3. Peter Sagan 4. Ian Stannard 5. Alex Kristoff »

“Are you havin’ a dig at me?” It’s a good old phrase that one. I hear it occasionally, usually in response to some jest, part of the banter that me and my friends enjoy on a regular basis. It can be used as an off-the-cuff remark, clearly meant in a jocular way, or can carry with it a more sinister edge, a way to make a poin...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. @slatanic Ha ha ha … what have I done :) To better explain myself: The idea of this type of dig is not to drop your riding partner but to put a bit of a “squeeze” on them  in the name of cruel fun. The idea is to stay shoulder to shoulder the whole ti… »

  2. To dig with panache you must be on the tops & casual dilebret in motion. Just before you subtly raise the pace it is always the done thing to ask the person at your side a question, preferably about themselves or their bike. These questions always get… »

  3. Ha ha ha ha …… one of the best written articles yet :)  »

I don’t know if its because I see something of myself in them or if it awakens some kind of nurturing instinct, but I always seem to find myself drawn to tragically flawed figures.Layne Staley and Marco Pantani strike me as two halves of the same whole; incredibly talented yet tortured with mortally addictive personalities, both set loose in...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. »

  2. “As much artist as athlete…….” »

  3. »

It’s been said before, but it bears repeating: the shoes say an awful lot about the rider. More than they’d like them to in retrospect, I’m guessing. Here we have the Prophet, looking mighty dapper, congratulating the unexpected victor in the form of Charley Mottet in the Grand Prix of his own name.A first glance at the photo reve...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. “Because nothing says I’m a penny pinching hardman like winning La Doyenne with shoes held snug with a liberal application of duct tape”   »

It is with an especially acute understanding of pushing oneself to ones limits, having just completed my second assault on Haleakala, with which I select this Guest Article, a first contribution from community member Scaler911. Especially acute in this case meaning that reading this account reminds me that I have no idea how to suffer on a climb...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. It has been said that the falling off/oxygen/ medical assistance was a plan to get Roche off the mountain earlier (By helicopter) & back in the hotel earlier to start recovery for the following day. Delgado was delayed on the mountain for ages giving … »

Il Lombardia, this is the race of the fallen leaves. This fall classic is a beautiful race in a beautiful region of Italy. The arduous route may change year to year but what does not change is the Italian need to win this thing. There is some national pride at stake here after the Italian men finished off the podium in Firenze. Bergamo to Lecco, 24...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. V. Nibali 2. Purito 3. D. Martin 4. J. Fuglsang 5. R. Uran »

There was no need for Rule #74 until the cyclometer showed up on our handlebars. According to the late Sheldon Brown, the cyclometer has been around since the early 1900s.“Star-wheel cyclometers, such as the Lucas unit, suffered two serious problems. They made an annoying “tink-tink-tink” noise. At high speeds, the star wheel would s...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. I had one of these when I was about 8. It was the strava of its day. I covered hundreds of km’s just to see the numbers roll around. A neighbour had one too, so it was a “to the death contest” to see who had the highest mileage covered at any time……….. »

The home ground of Manchester United Football Club, Old Trafford, is colloquially known around the world as the Theatre of Dreams. It holds a revered place in the hearts of the club’s supporters, and even those of other teams; it’s an icon of football, and sport in general. Millions have gone there to watch their heroes play, but how ma...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. Its not even just being on the same roads as the greats, you can get to feel the pain & experience a taste of what it must have been like on the big day (Without the charged crowd)…….. Having giving a lifetime reading & watching these famous r… »

  2. Living the dream……….. Pretending to be Pantani on Ventoux. Scoring the winner in the world cup final wouldn’t compare. »

  3. Kicking a ball around Old Trafford would never look or feel as good as this!!!!! »

No words survive here, only echoes. Echoes of our hopes, of our plans, of our failures. What we thought we might do when we came here is little more than a shadow; it flickers on the walls for a moment and when we turn to look, it is gone. Doubts swell up and bounce off the walls until they become so loud they can no longer be heard.Once we’ve en...

@slatanic's posts:

  1. Just back from the Pain Cave……….. »