Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: starclimber

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

Location: Delta BC

Coming soon, but not soon enough. There's some humour buried in that.

@starclimber's activity:

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. 6th’d or 7th’d, and I thought him likely to win, but I’m never picking him to win, ever. Fuck the VSP. »

Given the fact that everyone over-tightens their pedals to the crank arms, one needs a long lever to get too much torque. Rule #94 decrees using the correct tool and using it correctly. While the proper tool has always been available, it is up to us to evolve, to understand the difference between right and wrong, between vice-grip and open-ended w...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. @Gianni Exactly that: snugged down, and just barely. Never, EVER had one come loose. »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. The finale looms…. »

  2. Let it be. VSP PICKS: 1. Gilbert 2. Kwiatkowski 3. Malmerde 4. Moreno 5. Costa »

Wednesday sees the return of the women to the VSP. More notably, we see the return of Marianne Vos to the road. She’s won this race five of the last seven years. It makes me wonder if the rest of the field have already resigned themselves to racing for second. On the other hand, Vos hasn’t been racing of late and may not be as sharp as...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Please and thank you. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Van Dijk 3. Johansson 4. Armitstead 5. Longo Borghini »

What, another guest post? Seemingly yes, but in fact we are keeping to our every-other Friday guest post schedule. We must Keep The Schedule! @Harminator’s post about pigs was the little seen “pop-up” article; a confluence of Paris-Roubaix, Orchies pigs and Jupiler beer. These things go very bad, very fast if not served quickly. @...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Black shorts would have made that photo banal. »

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. @Mike_P Yeah, I’ve seen that dude pull a no hands track stand at a traffic light. Bit of a real deal right there. »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. @andrew Stellar. That shot of Gerrans? Not a gram of excess on that character. »

  2. Well, that was rather excellent. Vanendert disrupted an otherwise near-psychic top 4 picks. GODDAMNIT! he wrote, grinning. »

  3. Geraint Thomas also gone. Glad I fourth guessed Rodriguez from 1st to 5th. Race is simmering nicely. Now to see if the 2nd and 3rd guess removals of Iglinsky and Fitschleck stab me in the back. »

  4. Riders selected using only the finest, time-tested, second, third, and fourth guessing. VSP PICKS: 1. Gilbert 2. Gerrans 3. Malmerde 4. Kwiatkowski 5. Rodriguez »

Holland. Not known as a hilly country, this. I have relatives who live “at elevation” near the Kinderdijk, where I took this photo. They live at 3m above sea level. Right. Known more for wind than we are for hills, then. In fact, one of the many (many) interesting things about the Netherlands is that while most countries use windmills...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. @frank Fastidious naked-ass bitch slapping required for ‘kim’ ^ »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Kristoff flatted at a bad time (aka the Arenberg), had to chase from over a minute back, badda bing, badda buh-bye. »

  2. There’s a result I can live with. Wildly unpredictable and completely enthralling. CHAPEAU NIKI! »

  3. Attackarama. Fucking stellar. »

  4. Holy FUCK, is this gonna be a huge velodrome sprint!? »

  5. Underestimated the wrong guy, again, have we? »

  6. 1 down, 4 to go. Without some luck, you can’t win this thing. »

  7. Spartacus and Tommeke into the velodrome after Tom just barely survives Fab’s blazing attack, which puts enough road between them and Kristoff’s group to allow a very narrow win for Boonen. VSP PICKS: 1. Boonen 2. Cancellara 3. Kristoff 4. Van Avermaet … »

@Harminator just submitted this little gem of a tale. It is too timely not to share with Paris-Roubaix looming. VLVV, Gianni Continue reading...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Let’s not start a boar war…. Beautiful succinct article. »

Here stands a man. A quiet man. A hard working man. A Belgian man. A man from a life of grit, cold, and rain.Here stands a man who has chosen a life of hard work and sacrifice; a hard life even within the context of Cycling. A man who spends long hours in the wind and in the rain, in the service of his team. A man who despite those long hours in...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. I wonder if she wasn’t simply a very slow old woman, and became trapped on that island by the pre-peloton entourage. Cars and motorcycles streaming by to either side….grim. »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Sagan kills himself chasing a curiously fading Faboo, with Tommeke glued to his wheel. The less thrashed Boonen punches out a tires width win while his faithful attack dog Niki brings up the rear, only to be just nipped at the line by the ever-close Chava… »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Guess this will be streaming live, right? Oh well. VSP PICKS: 1. JOHANSSON Emma 2. VAN DER BREGGEN Anna 3. ARMITSTEAD Elisabeth 4. AMIALIUSIK Alena 5. TUCKER HALL Lauren »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@starclimber's posts:

  1. Speaking of animated, Devolder has been prominent last couple of races. »