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Velominatus: ten B

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: Sydney, Australia


A transplanted Canadian, living in Australia, having only recently made the transition from bike rider to cyclist, ten B has found the true purpose of his full set of Dutch genes: the conversion of V into movement in the finest tradition of Zoetemelk and Kuiper.

@ten B's activity:

Brett’s fine Nick Cave article got me thinking about music and cycling. We spend lots of time alone on our bikes. The bike is on autopilot, it stays upright from second to second, freeing up our brains to consider anything or nothing. Music might be the only riding companion we have but it has to be the right music. Being as Pro as possible is...

@ten B's posts:

  1. Even worse than a song is a fragment of one because you can’t remember the words. I did a double century last year, having heard a OneRepublic song in the car the previous day. “You’ve got something I need… Da da da dada da dada da da… And if I only d… »

For the simple reason that the Cobbled and Ardennes Classics are behind us, I have not alternative but to get back on my soap box about the Giro being the best of the three Grand Tours. Well, usually, at least. Last year’s race sucked the big one (even if it was supremely Rule #9), but for the most part it is the race that is the most c...

@ten B's posts:

  1. Hmmm… my picks seem to have disappeared. Here they are again! VSP PICKS: 1. Purito 2. Quintana 3. Uran 4. Cuddles 5. Dan Martin »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Purito 2. V-tana 3. The Medellin Mullet 4. Cadel 5. Roche »

The 100th running of Liège-Bastogne-Liège takes place this Sunday. Danny-boy Martin will be marked heavily as the defending champion. Malmerde, and Phil Gil have shown they are peaking too. Froomy has thrown his hat into the ring, as he did last year but after last years 26th place, maybe it’s training. 263 kms, past winners include a long...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @andrew Severs me right for not doing my homework! Nibbles in for the Pukinator. VSP PICKS: 1. Nibbles 2. Malmerde 3. Dan Martin 4. Gerrans 5. Gilbert »

  2. Porte has been quiet in his lead-up to the Giro. A bit too quiet if you ask me… VSP PICKS: 1. Porte 2. Malmerde 3. Dan Martin 4. Gerrans 5. Gilbert »

Wednesday sees the return of the women to the VSP. More notably, we see the return of Marianne Vos to the road. She’s won this race five of the last seven years. It makes me wonder if the rest of the field have already resigned themselves to racing for second. On the other hand, Vos hasn’t been racing of late and may not be as sharp as...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Armistead 3. Borghini 4. de Vries 5. van Dijk »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Philbert 2. Slagter 3. Costa 4. Malmerde 5. Betancur »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Gerro 2. Costa 3. Kwiatowski 4. Malmerde 5. Dan Martin »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. van Avermaet 3. Stybar 4. van Marke 5. Vansummeren »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Johansson 2. Armistead 3. Stevens 4. Borghini 5. van Dijk »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Faboo 2. Sagan 3. Boonen 4. Kristoff 5. Terpstra »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@ten B's posts:

  1.   VSP PICKS: 1. Johannson 2. Borghini 3. Stevens 4. van Dijk 5. Bronzini »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@ten B's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Haas 2. Gilbert 3. Faboo 4. Gerrans 5. Hansen »

Where: Montecatini Terme to Firenze, ItalyWhen: September 28 Continue reading...

@ten B's posts:

  1. Mariannacus! »

I suspect that whoever first put a set of downtube shifters on a bike immediately knew that while it was superior to having the shifter on the seat stay, it was a design that was going to be improved upon. Not only did it require being seated to shift, it also required taking your hands off the bars. Shimano got close with the introduction of the S...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @frank After further consideration, up and down the cassette works for me. Just like a bigger gear is on a smaller cog. You’ve lost a bit of cred anyway, @frank, what with being on the small ring in the article photo and all. »

  2. @ToeOverlap I’ve only heard of shifter failures on Rival. I’m thinking (hoping) that the Red shifters are stronger. I’m starting to get better at feeling if I’m on the top cog when I touch the lever, and follow-up with a quick upshift (downshift? Crap, we… »

  3. @scaler911 A mate of mine snapped off his shifter a few weeks ago – he chalked it up to too many phantom down-shifts when already in the granny gear. That’s about the only quibble I have with the bro-set – when I’m on the limit and my oxygen-deprived br… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @Jon Bissett Crap, I can’t believe I missed the continuation of this thread.  And the criterion is to be a pedantic douchebag. »

Seriously. Is it almost September? This was not the agreement, this was supposed to be an endless summer. And all you A-Holes down there in the Antipodes are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, enjoying longer days and shorter nights. I don’t need to tell you where you can take that, but it’s dark and it smells. I have no patien...

@ten B's posts:

  1. No surprises here. VSP PICKS: 1. Nibbles 2. J-rod 3. Hey now 4. Urangitan 5. Malmerde »

As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the...

@ten B's posts:

  1. I make it a policy to be able to fix at least two punctures whilst out on a ride. When I’m riding tubs, this means a spare under the saddle and a can of Pit Stop in the pocket (plus a mini pump). Which I use first is dependant on the size/nature of the pu… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @Jon Bissett Yeah, I looked that up on FB. I stopped reading when I got to the word “irregardless.” BTW, there are fewer Americans here than you might think. The dearth of conversation about Monster Trucks is a dead giveaway. »

Everyone knows that the quality of one’s character is measured by the size gear they can push, particularly when going uphill. It is also a well-established fact that no self-respecting Flemish Pro would ever ride a Compact, no matter what condition their knees are in or how ferocious the gradient. Which, by extension, means that Compacts are...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @piwakawaka It’s in the Brindabella ranges south of Canberra. If you Google Fitz’s Challenge you’ll find it. I did the 205km version last year on my old bike with a compact and 11-25. The last big climb was a one-hour symphony of agony. No real flat se… »

  2. I’m toying with the idea of getting a medium cage derailleur and an 11-32 for a particularly hilly 255km sportive in October. I figure that 9 hours of suffering will be enough without having to spend a couple of them below 50 rpm and whimpering like an ab… »

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@ten B's posts:

  1. Such a sad loss. Most of us have had close calls – some closer than others. The thread of grace from which we’re suspended is narrow indeed. Perhaps a subtle JKL on future jerseys as a memorial? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@ten B's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears If you’re really stuck, this might give you a good enough approximation: »

  • Wilkins is right about his role in his bike/car incidents. There’s 2 sides to the equation, always. As cyclists,...

  • One word, old mate … abridge!

    Fuck me that’s a long article. I really should read one someday around here.

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