Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: the Engine

Order: Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 Attendee

Location: Scotland

Social: Website

Mamil returning to the saddle after 20 years of doing other stuff like long distance running - what was I thinking

@the Engine's activity:

In most situations, silence is an ominous thing that signals impending doom. Having never been in any danger myself, I base this largely on my experience watching box-office movies. As a general rule, I use Hollywood as the principal source of information on all subjects as they relate to doom and politics, principally because I’m loath t...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @ChrisO What helped to finish me off at the end of me and @upthetrossachs big 360km London to York day out (ably supported by @mrsEngine) was that after about 12 hours I couldn’t eat without nausea – wasn’t cramping or anything so I was Well Hydrated bu… »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @Deakus Unless I’m shooting at you in which case you’re probably pretty safe »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @margc Oddly I find if mine comes anywhere near a YJA it kicks me in the bollocks… »

  2. @margc I’ve got a proper Chopper Johns original “Harden the Fuck up” one in black that never leaves my wrist – Jensie’s is a knock off copy. It really works – no one with a YJA would wear one that’s for shizzle. »

Bicycles and automobiles- can’t we all just get along? @Kah writes about this universal (do aliens have this issue also?) problem of us co-existing with humans in cars. We all drive cars too and have cursed the occasional cyclists for some good reason. Cars are our greatest threat. We can crawl away from our own bicycle crashes, thanks very m...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @ped I think its something to do with that well known Levantine dairy company Cheeses of Nazareth »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @Sauterelle Fuck my tits – we made it to the Wall Street Journal? I’m going for a lie down. »

Day 5 of the Six Days of the Giro continues with an impromptu VSP event.Lets have a look at where we are in the 2013 Giro. Wiggins must have spent time training in Luxembourg because he’s been descending like a Schleck when things get dodgy before disappearing into the team van to have a cry about it. Hesjedal has put in some good moves and...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @frank Synesthesia – I find it makes the world so much more interesting – expeciallyTwitter »

  2. @Buck Rogers You’re much cleverer than me… »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. Did we ever get a ruling on Ass Savers and their appropriateness? »

Day 5 of the Six Days of the Giro continues with an impromptu VSP event.Lets have a look at where we are in the 2013 Giro. Wiggins must have spent time training in Luxembourg because he’s been descending like a Schleck when things get dodgy before disappearing into the team van to have a cry about it. Hesjedal has put in some good moves and...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Nibbles 2. Mauro Santambrogio 3. Przemyslaw Niemiec 4. Cuddles 5. Fabio Aru »

Change creeps in slowly, it has a way of taking the seemingly immutable and eroding it over time. It’s inevitable; if the great canyons were carved from the solid rock of Mount Velomis by such a soft thing as water, then it should come as no surprise that the Velominati V-Kit would also change with time. As David St. Hubbins says, “Th...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. Just caught @MrsEngine heading for the gym wearing a pair of my sacred socks. »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @the Engine Hi Brett – thanks for coming back for me… »

  2. @frank Obviously I used a huge luge to slide gracefully to the back of the peloton. I’m now metaphorically hanging on to the team car changing my shoes and waiting for someone to drop back and ride me back in. »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH6YqAMKxD4 You all saw this ages ago right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uH6YqAMKxD4 »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @strathlubnaig The site is back and so am I! Thanks for the kudos – like you said you know you’ve ridden a long way when the Strava map shows the entire country. Anyone know the cure for a mangina? I seem to have developed one despite the shorts and … »

Twiggo is dreaming of a Giro-Tour double. He has sent out mixed messages about his Tour ambitions. Will he use the Giro as the ultimate Tour preparation or will be burn all his matches in May and hope he can find another pack for July? He has abandoned his successful 2012 Tour run-up strategy of winning every stage race he entered the previous spri...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. This may be the first time I’ve led anything in my entire life »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Scarponi 2. Twiggo 3. Uran 4. Cuddles 5. Henao »

We are the Keepers of the Cog.  In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.See also The Prophet’s Prayer. Continue reading...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. Calling fellow Velominati – @upthetrossachs and me have been thrown a curve ball by the spirit of Merckx – illness may cause us to lose our driver for the London – Edinburgh ride. Are there any UK Velominati who are available from Friday evening in Londo… »

Young riders rise through the ranks with such promise. We all know the story; the rider who borrows a bicycle and enters a local race and wins. He decides he might be good at going batshit fast on a bike. Mom and Dad buy him a klunker for his birthday and he takes out a license. He starts winning most races he enters locally and rises to the region...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @unversio Maybe Stalin and Kim Jong Little Un could learn some lessons off this. Mind you one of them would have to be not dead to learn the lessons. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @Chris I’m back – been a long day »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @tessar I always appreciated the signs being in three languages though – Israel is very good at telling you where you are and where you’re going in my experience. In Ireland the road signs are non-existent or useless. Just saying. »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. Next weekend I’m doing this with @upthetrossachs http://www.ratraceroadtrip.com/ - are there any Velominati along the route who’d like to wave at us? For that matter are there any Velominati who’ll also be doing it (obviously we’re doing the two day optio… »

  2. Right heading for the Pyrenees on the 13th of July for two weeks – based in the less fashionable Foix area there are some fantastic cols and quiet roads. Anyone going to be in that general locale about that time? Mrs Engine has said i can have as much as … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @tessar Is that road sign misspelled – I thought it was Mateh Yehuda? Or am I just lost? »

André Leducq was a complete French Badass, with a capital B. He was third, below Merckx and Hinault for Tour de France stage wins. Nicolas Frantz was an equally Badass Luxembourger. He rode to more victories than Frandy Schleck shall ever attain in a few lifetimes. He did win the Tour de France.The crowd is obviously pleased to have these thin, he...

@the Engine's posts:

  1. @eenies Nothing to do with any of this but were you one of the Fleet Feet people in the late 80′s early 90′s in Stonehaven? »