Velominati Community Profile Archive

Velominatus: the _farmer

Order: Level 1 Velominatus

A bit crap but love hills, Rule 5 all the way.

@the _farmer's activity:

The Velominati Super Prestige is a season-long competition wherein readers will be submitting their predictions for the top five finishers of each qualifying race.  In order to qualify, your picks via the VSP Picks form above the posts section of the VSP Event article pertaining to the race in question by the time the countdown clock goes to zero...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Never mind, found it. »

  2. Just so I can see how badly I’m doing, is there a complete list of standings so far? I just really, really want to see how much chance I have of spending my own money on wheels and bikes this year! The VMH will be pleased. »

Midweek in Belgium in Spring is a wonderful thing. Hordes of people come from seemingly nowhere to fill the bars and line the roadsides when presumably they’d usually be working, or at school, or some such. That the only ones who appear to be working are the bartenders and frites dispensers reinforces my belief that Belgium is the greatest co...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Rodriguez 2. Kwiatowski 3. Valverde 4. Costa 5. Mollema »

Wednesday sees the return of the women to the VSP. More notably, we see the return of Marianne Vos to the road. She’s won this race five of the last seven years. It makes me wonder if the rest of the field have already resigned themselves to racing for second. On the other hand, Vos hasn’t been racing of late and may not be as sharp as...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Vos 2. Borghini 3. Armistead 4. Johansson 5. Stevens »

The Amstel Gold Race, 251 km from Maastricht to Valkenburg, the hard way. There appears to be no flat sections longer than ten meters. There are thirty-four mean little climbs to ruin the legs. We have moved on from the real Spring Classics. There is no rest in this VSP; The Ronde and Roubaix were amazing but we must continue. Legs that are smoked...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Rodriguez 2. Kwiatowski 3. Nibali 4. Ten dam 5. Cunego »

It has been a brutal week for us Keepers, having decided not to hold a Keepers Tour this year. Watching the action from half a world away has been almost too much for us to bear, and I know most of the participants from last year must be feeling similarly. On Sunday, we would be escorted by our friends and guides, William and Alex of Pavé Cycling...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Logic says two or three together at the end, or even one by themselves, so do you pick an obvious winner then randoms for the rest of the places because the main hopes heads will be down and they let some no hoper (I.e a sky rider) go for the minor places… »

The grade is long and I am climbing away. I’m not going to Pantani this: I am not out of the saddle, not in the drops and not leaving everyone in my wake. The climbing gear was engaged a long time ago. There is progress, but I am not dancing up this climb. A little more cadence would really help here. If I could just get this mother-lover spinnin...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. @Teocalli Fuck that shit, if you can walk you can damn well cycle, you better have a damn good excuse! I have only come to a halt once on a hill, did I walk, did I fuck. Just took a few breaths and got on with the cycling. The rest of the world walk, … »

This needs no introduction. The Spring Classics are truly upon us. The course has been modified yet again, it is tougher? The riders make the race and the 2014 Ronde van Vlaanderen is loaded with racers who could win or make the Velominati VSP placings. Just to pick the winner will not be nearly as easy as it has been recently. There are small clo...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Does this work like the infinite monkeys thing, if enough of us get involved then someone will be right! »

  2. VSP PICKS: 1. Boonen 2. Van marcke 3. Cancellara 4. Stybar 5. Sagan »

Vlaanderen. Its no accident the Flemish word for Flanders starts with a V; there is nothing simple or easy about riding a bike here. If it isn’t wind, its steep bergs. If it isn’t tarmac, its cobbles. Most of the time, its all three. Oh, and the weather there sucks. In fact, Flanders doesn’t have weather – it has VVeather.De...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Stevens 2. Vos 3. Johannson 4. Arndt 5. Armistead »

This is the kick off of the VSP for women’s racing, though the women have already kicked it off with the Ronde van Drenthe in the Netherlands. Now it’s down to Northern Italy, Varese, by Lago Maggiore, but this is a climbers course, more in the mountains than by the lake. And yes, Sunday is also Gent-Wevelgem for women but Trofeo is par...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Johansdon 2. Stevens 3. Armistead 4. Pooley 5. Vos »

Evolution doesn’t really seem to be part of the picture anymore, at least not where humans and our direct reports are concerned. We control an astounding number of genetic defects in ourselves, our pets, and agriculture while Science and Technology give Natural Selection swirlies in the locker room.Take exercise-induced asthma, which is a con...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. @Puffy I’m half way there then as one ankle is fixed in position. However I see a flaw in the argument as that leg now has next to no calf muscle whereas cycling is developing the other one nicely so obviously the ankle and therefore calf muscle is con… »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. I can’t resist this but having been trawling through the stories on the site, I came across this quote from Frank. “Besides, pro’s don’t wear jeans, and they don’t wear white helmets that look like hollowed-out bowling balls” Quite apposite I thought fo… »

The Kemmelberg is a brute. In my opinion, its the hardest of the cobbled climbs in the Spring Classics; it has a high speed tarmac approach that saps the guns of their snap. The transition from tarmac to cobbles is awful, the stones are very badly laid throughout and if you don’t hit it just right, you’ll come to a standstill. The cobbl...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. VSP PICKS: 1. Spartacus 2. Stannard 3. Boonen 4. Vanmarcke 5. Sagan »

Het Volk (it will always be Het Volk to me) and now the Strade Bianche may well mark the sentimental beginning to the season, but those are specialized, pre-season races that appeal mostly to riders who are preparing for bigger objectives later in the year, such as the Cobbled or Ardennes Classics. Same goes for Tirreno Adriatico and Paris-Nice; t...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Can you delete that double post »

  2. Oh well! »

  3. VSP PICKS: 1. Sagan 2. Cancellara 3. Degenkolb 4. Van summeren 5. Gilbert »

We are the Keepers of the Cog. In so being, we also maintain the sacred text wherein lie the simple truths of cycling etiquette known as The Rules. It is in our trust to maintain and endorse this list.The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Forgive me keepers for I have sinned! I rode with an EPMS! However Merckx has had the last laugh. My legs have been rubbing on it and ruined the finish on the inside of the thigh, lesson learnt! But given that VMH insists I carry a first aid kit due to th… »

I wasn’t anywhere near old enough to hold a driver’s license but my dad had already bought me a motorcycle. It was a late seventies BMW R100 RS, dark blue. I loved that bike; I polished it fortnightly even though it never left the garage. I spent hours sitting on it, twisting the throttle and squeezing the clutch, diving in and out of t...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. @Gio Local bike club runs a session once a week at the local outdoor velodrome, road bikes only, but going even at 30kph seems fast when there are 10 of you in a group Ok who am I kidding, I’m doing 30 all the others are at 33+. I think to myself, och … »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Nooooooooo, I’m not THAT stupid. The winter bike NEEDS new wheels. N1 WANTS new wheels, therefore new wheels for the Domane, put Domane hoops of granite on the winter bike. Hey presto everyone’s happy, VMH thinks I’ve only bought one set of wheels, wherea… »

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. And none of this is ringing alarm bells? »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@the _farmer's posts:

  1. Wheelsmith are suggesting ambrosio evolution and ambrosio hubs. Sounds a bit heavy duty though! I just thought the ksyriums looked quite nice and for £470 you get xksion tyres as well »

  2. Well, Seeing as all of the suggestions are scarily expensive I have been looking on the bay! Nearly nailed down a set of ksyrium s but they slipped away so watching some bontrager RL that are 25% of new price. Failing that LBS has ksyriums with xksium ty… »

  3. Reading up it looks like excellight may be a bit light for me at 95kg, or rather I would be too heavy for them, especially at 28 front and rear »

  4. Found a pair with 28 spokes, is that enough for 95kg? »