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Velominatus: urbanwhitetrash

Order: Level 3 Velominatus

Location: North Vancouver, BC

A mountain goat in a gorilla suit

@urbanwhitetrash's activity:

Cogals (pronounce it correctly: kog-al) are meetings of like-minded misfits brought together by the promise of beer, preceded by a bike ride. Cogals are free, open to all, organized by our fellow Velominati and are always followed by consumption of post-ride recovery ales and merriment. These are gatherings of unbridled observance of Rule #4...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. « October 2014 »
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The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Attempt #4 – not from phone. My new commuter/gravel/dirt/snow bike. These photos are from her inaugural gravel ride in beast mode. Full fenders and slicks for commuting purposes. Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ »

I just got turned back from a ride. 5k from the house I realized my bits were getting too cold not only for comfort (in which case, apply Rule #5 and move on) but safety (i’ll take my vasectomy in the hospital, thank you very much). It’s a lovely sunny day, the only problems being the minus 12C temp, biting headwind, and leg warmers th...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Does the full site work? »

  2. Clearly, photo uploads can’t be done from a phone »

  3. Fed up with the lack of variance on my commuter/rain bike I opted to decommission it in favour of something that allowed more freedom. Freedom of what, you ask? Everything. Gone is the tight geometry and even tighter wheel clearance of a steel and carbon … »

In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. In honor of de Ronde van Vlaanderen, we will be hosting a Cogal in the urban Seattle area. Route to be determined, but plan on a moderately hilly opening 80km around Lake Washington and Mercer Island before hitting the historic cobbles on Captial Hill and Queen Anne near downtown Seattle. Total length of the ride is about 115km; but the last 30 are what really count.

    We’ll be leaving from Brouwer’s Café in Fremont at 10:05. No support vehicle is expected, but we’ll have lots of opportunity to refuel along the way. I will pre-ride the route a few days in advance and post GPX files and a queue sheet. The ride is intended to be no-drop, but due to the amount of climbing, we may break into separate groups before meeting back at Brouwer’s for post-ride recovery ales.

    Join us one and all to get a very minor taste what its like to ride de Ronde!

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - April 06, 2014
    10:05 AM - 6:00 PM

    Location
    Brouwers

    Cogal Details
    Route Details


Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest fri...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Ride the Cascades with the Velominati

    Those of you in the PacNW have likely heard of the (in)famous “Seattle to Portland” ride, or “STP.” It is produced by a large local bike club and sponsored by a large corporate health care entity. I’ve ridden it several times over the years, and it has its charms. But going for a bike ride with 10,000 of my closest friends has gotten…tiresome and cloying. When I first starting riding bikes a few years ago, STP was something of a challenge. A double century over two days seemed to be something epic, something life changing. At the time, it was something to aim for, and I’m glad I did it a few times with Mrs/Dr Eightzero.

    Last year was the last time I’m doing that ride. Oh, it was fun. Nothing Bad happened. The weather was perfect. We had a good time. But…if I hear “on your left” or “CAR BACK!” one more time, I’m gonna frame pump someone. Yes, I ride casually deliberately. Yes, I know there are cars on the road. But just stop it. I Obey Rule #59, so I don’t give a shit if you’re on my left. And actually, I do own the road. I ride as far to the right as is safe, and always actually look over my shoulder if I change lines. Thus, I am obeying not only the Rules, but the law in this state as well.

    The bike club wants $100 for this “fun” and while I understand it is a fund raiser for their various advocacy efforts, for $100 I get little in return. Some cheap-ass Costco snacks and bag transport. 10,000 people at a finish line “festival” means I wait in line for 20 minutes for a $5 beer, then there’s no where to sit to enjoy it.

    So, rather than go all eveyln STeVens further, I’ve decided a Cogal is just the antidote. Cogals lack everything I just described. Velominati are particularly good bike handlers. There’s no yelling on a Cogal, only V, V, and more V. When we recover, we fill the table with empty beer bottles in a comfy corner of a local brewery. Hence, the STV Summer Cogal in Arlington WA on July 12, 2014. If you plan on doing STP, well, have fun. STV is on that weekend, so you can’t do both. I hope you have a $100 worth of fun. STV, OTOH, adheres to the Keepers’ Cogal Principles: Open to all; Free to all. And Epic. Way Epic.

    As is the tradition with the Settle Summer Cogal, we start and end at a Brewery. In this case, the Skookum Brewery near the Arlington Airport. A short spur away from our loop into the North Cascades, we are taking the route listed as one of the 75 Classic Washington State rides.

    We plan casually deliberate, and will have a periodic regrouping at a couple of the small “towns” as there are several places to refuel and rewater along the route. It is my experience that for long, epic rides like this, company to chat with during the ride is much desired (just not 10,000 people that think that going for a 100 mile ride is life changing, and thus all have stern looks of concentration like they think a freeway overpass is the Fucking Stelvio.) Still, I expect the occasional double-pacelines to form, and we can hammer along a bit, but comraderie is best served on the road.

    We need an early start: V past 8am PDT, and the ride starts on time. Start/End: Skookum Brewery, (360) 652-4917.

    Route Directions are here.

    We may make a few detours to get supplies. The best roads are a little off the beaten commercial highways where there are stores, supplies. Note this is route is Grand Fondo distance – longer than a (Imperial) Century. As a loop, there is no turning back – you’re committed, so bring supplies and a plan. IOW: Epic.

    Casually Deliberate, but multiple groups may form. Take particular note of distances and opportunities for refuel/ rewater. This is not an urban ride. It is spectacularly scenic, and while it is long, it is not overly vertical, and therefore very doable for those us that are always Too Fat to Climb.

    VLVV -Eightzero.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - July 12, 2014
    8:05 AM - 9:00 PM

    Location
    Skookum Brewery

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

My trouble isn’t with being a good descender; it is with cornering and stopping – and sometimes both. Or, as G’rilla puts it, “Descending is like sex; how good I am at it has nothing to do with how much I enjoy it.”Descending is demanding and requires great skill. It is not a time for resting or taking it easy; getting...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. @Frank If this rule is making its way into the North American version of The Rules, does this mean I can put Published author on my resumé? »

Growing up, I imagine my dad did his fair share of worrying about me getting into trouble with chemicals and girls. Like with most problems in life, the solution lay in Cycling; training encouraged healthy behavior and once my dad convinced me to shave my legs, no one needed to worry about the girls anymore.Cycling caused its fair share of problems...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. I am rouleur with delusions of grimpeur »

Come Ride the VVhidbey Island CogalWe rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0. Continue reading...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Come Ride the VVhidbey Island Cogal

    We rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0.

    We rode in 2012. The wind and rollers killed us all day.

    It is now 2013. Do you love the work? Do you miss TMWTH? Do you enjoy riding some of the most gorgeous island routes Western Washignton has to offer? If you answer with three (trois) yeses, then this Cogal is for you.

    We plan the same route as 2011 and 2012. A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 5, 2013. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse, 124 2nd Street Langley, WA 98260

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 05, 2013
    10:05 AM - 5:30 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2. Come Ride the VVhidbey Island Cogal

    We rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0.

    We rode in 2012. The wind and rollers killed us all day.

    It is now 2013. Do you love the work? Do you miss TMWTH? Do you enjoy riding some of the most gorgeous island routes Western Washignton has to offer? If you answer with three (trois) yeses, then this Cogal is for you.

    We plan the same route as 2011 and 2012. A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 5, 2013. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse, 124 2nd Street Langley, WA 98260

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 05, 2013
    10:05 AM - 5:30 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  3. Come Ride the VVhidbey Island Cogal

    We rode in 2011. @cyclops killed us all at km 0.

    We rode in 2012. The wind and rollers killed us all day.

    It is now 2013. Do you love the work? Do you miss TMWTH? Do you enjoy riding some of the most gorgeous island routes Western Washignton has to offer? If you answer with three (trois) yeses, then this Cogal is for you.

    We plan the same route as 2011 and 2012. A no drop, casually deliberate ride on October 5, 2013. Bring your directions, the road has choices, and maybe (maybe) you don’t want to get lost. Bring supplies, as Coupeville is the only, but most logical place for refuel and rewater.

    In keeping with the ferry schedule and change in season daylight, we plan a V past VV start. Note that coin operated showers are available at the Langley marina. Bring quarters. Mo’s Pub and Eatery in Langley has post ride food and malted recovery beverages, including the kind that come from a far off land renowned for its Islay and Highland (inter alia) versions.

    Ride directions here

    Start/end: South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse, 124 2nd Street Langley, WA 98260

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - October 05, 2013
    10:05 AM - 5:30 PM

    Location
    South Whidbey Island Commons and CoffeeHouse

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. @mikael the whole shooting match or just the rubber? The rubber I picked up from wiggle.co.uk, they’re more than Probikekit, but PBK didn’t have 25’s. Wiggle is having a sale on them in 23mm, $55.28CAD which is criminally cheap. I paid $78CAD each for t… »

It’s funny what goes through your head at 3am when you’re woken by a cat. Especially if that cat’s name is Lars, and he was named after the Metallica drummer (not by me, he’s my VMH’s cat). I prefer to call him Jan though, as Jan has always been my favourite Ullrich. So last night Lars woke me up, and unable to get ba...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. if you weren’t feeling old before, last week, …and justice for all was released 25 years ago! Like many out there, the whole napster debacle turned me off Metallica for along time, it was Master of Puppets which brought me back, which is still their fi… »

The Bike. It is the central tool in pursuit of our craft. A Velominatus meticulously maintains their bicycles and adorns them with the essential, yet minimal, accoutrement. The Rules specify the principles of good taste in configuration and setup of our machines, but within those principles lies almost infinite room for personal taste.It seems in s...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Thanks for the comments all, I’m waiting on a new KMC Superlight in gold to show up. If anyone is curious I’m running the Vittoria Corsa SC in 25’s, so smooth and so fast »

  2. The difference between you and me, when I obey the rules, I make it look good! 6.9kg for 60cm frame ain’t too shabby. 1.16kg for the wheels (Reynolds thirty two tubs laced to CK R45) Slideshow: Fullscreen: Download: Powered by DM Albums™ … »

 Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842 Continue reading...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  2.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  3.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  4.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

  5.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

Each of us throw a leg over our top tubes and submit ourselves to the open road in recognition of the risks involved. These risks include those of a puncture, crash, damaged equipment, disability, and – ultimately – death. We try to be vigilant, we ride assertively yet defensively, and we hope for the best. We take every reasonable precaution t...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. RIP Jon »

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. Who was wearing the V kit on the STP this weekend? »

 Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842 Continue reading...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1.  

    Description: Route (well, mostly): http://app.strava.com/rides/19358842

    The Triple Crown Cogal will start riders from Musette Café, in the heart of Downtown Vancouver, British Columbia. We’ll ride across the Second Narrows Bridge, out to the darkest depths of North Vancouver, through some scenic rainforest before tackling the only hors catégorie climb in the area, Mount Seymour. We’ll top up water bottles at the bottom. From there the ride will head up through Lynn Valley Headwaters, and wend its way over to Grouse mountain, the shortest of the three climbs. A brief, caffeinated respite will follow at Delany’s in Edgemont Village will happen after the descent down Grouse. The ascent of the British Properties is next, affording the riders stunning views of Vancouver as we spin our way through one of Canada’s most elitist neighbourhoods. Lastly, the ride will continue to the west and ascend Cypress, the final climb of the day. To cap the ride off we’ll cross Lion’s Gate Bridge and cut through the always lovely Stanley Park. Apres Velo activities will happen at the Lions Pub.

    The ride can be described as ~130km of suffering. 3000m of climbing over six hours. It hurts. A lot

    Dutch Keepers are welcome to come, as the Dutch are quite familiar with running to Canada.

    Event Details

    Loading Map....

    Date/Time
    Date - August 24, 2013
    8:05 AM - 5:15 PM

    Location
    Musette Caffe

    Cogal Details
    Route Details

    Ride Classification

The Ride. It is the cathedral of our sport, where we worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. It is the end to our means. Indeed, The Bike may be the central tool to our sport, but to turn the pedals is to experience the sensation of freedom, of flight. It is all for The Ride.The world is overflowing with small, twisty roads that capture ou...

@urbanwhitetrash's posts:

  1. @Mikael Liddy Nope, older dude. Super nice guy, pretty good photographer to boot. »