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Velominatus: wiscot

Order: Guest Contributor

Location: West Bend, Wisconsin

I got my first bike at age 2 and have always had one since. My first real bike was a massive steel blue Peugeot at the age of 14. Subsequently replaced by a red Holdsworth, a team-colors Raleigh and a ruby-red Colnago, the latter joined by a neon-pink Cougar TT bike, a metallic green Brian Rouke winter bike and a blue Specialized mountain bike. All steel and all gone to new homes now. I joined the Johnstone Wheelers Cycling Club at 18 and became a dedicated time triallist, riding 30-50 club and open races a year. In 1989/90 I was a founding member of the short-lived VC d"Or which included velominatus and short-lived COTHO teammate Brian Smith. I also raced regularly against another real Velominatus - Graeme Obree - in the 1980s and beat him twice - once in a 10 and once in a 50. Rumors that he stopped to have a drum up at the turn are probably true. Moved to the US in 1990. Buggered up my back (working for a bike shop ironically) in 1993. Took several years off. Back riding since 2006 in Wisconsin and logging 8000+ kilometers each of the last three years.

@wiscot's activity:

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. I know it’s just the angle of the shot, but doesn’t Stannard look like he’s riding a bike that more than a tad too small? »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @unversio Are Conan and Vino related? You know Conan’s hair is juiced . . . »

Before Tomac and Ned, before LeMond and Big Mig, there was Bob Hannah. For a young lad obsessed with motorcycles as well as bicycles, the ‘Hurricane’ was the epitome of style on a bike. His bright yellow Yamaha YZs and matching head-to-toe kit set the bar and inspired me to emulate not only his style on the bike, but off it too. If onl...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @PeakInTwoYears Tell me about it! I live in SE Wisconsin -  home of HD. You know it’s getting nice out (I’ve been on the bike for months already) when the Harleys are brought out of hibernation. Some keep the pipes legal and quiet. Others ascribe to th… »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @frank The nerd with no ice cream looks like he’s wearing a pair of “X-Ray Vision” glasses he got off a Bazooka Joe bubblegum wrapper and is saying “Hey! These things don’t work! The Chicks are still wearing clothes. What gives, bro?” Ice cream boy sp… »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. Oh, one more thing. I can’t tell you how happy I am that Nibali has not become the yellow turd. Just the maillot jaune, the rest is standard team kit. That’s class right there. Compare it to Quintana in the Giro who became the pink turd to the nth degree…. »

  2. If you listen very carefully, you can hear Wiggo chuckling. Plan C for Sky? Everyone knows their alphabet starts and stops at the letter A. Maybe they should just tell Geraint to go fucking crazy. Seems as good a plan as any. Nibbles? Dominator. Mind you… »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @frank Not just the shades, but the Rivat shoes too. One of the top 5 most stylish riders of all time. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Geraint Maybe it’s his head that’s tilted . . . Teocalli – Congrats – yup, screen-grab that sucker! »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Chris It’s appropriate that Froome has a bug-eyed look with the white shades as he is the spider-humping-the-lightbulb. Geraint Thomas needs to be let off the Sky leash – why do I always feel that he’s too often put “in service” rather than getting it… »

  2. Quick, someone post a pic of Assos girl! Guy Fieri? Twat to the power of infinity and purveyor of overpriced shite. Still wearing my white sunnies on the bike. »

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it t...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Puffy A tad too much information! (emoticon here) »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. Spare a thought for Gino Bartali tomorrow – a true giant – on and off the bike. The last paragraph is a gem: “When I asked my father why I couldn’t tell anyone, he said: ‘You must do good, but you must not talk about it. If you talk about it you’re taking… »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Ccos True. Wearing bike sunnies off the bike is like wearing trainers with a suit. »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. I can’t believe this! This will blow the VSP up for sure: http://www.theonion.com/video/breaking-tour-de-france-on-hold-as-cyclists-ride-o,36474/ »

  2. @Geraint Sorry to hear this. He may be out of the race, but he’s won himself a ton of fans and respect from his peers. To ride with the Broom wagon revving the motor behind you for 60kms cannot be fun – although in a perverse way it may have been motiva… »

I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypo...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. Love my white Serfas shades. Great size and shape for the face and good lenses. Not the best in helmet vents, but oh well . . . I have other pairs (including a vintage pair of Bolle Razor Edge) ones which are still serviceable. First pair of cycling speci… »

Rule #33- Legs are to be carefully shaved at all times.This is one of the Rules that really defines the term Cyclist to the Velominati. Discussions about Rule #33 flare up on the site occasionally, burn brightly then smolder out. Between faces and legs, it is a lot of man-scraping. Rule #33 is a task master. Compliance is one thing, defending it t...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. Timely and great piece. I’m a year-round leg shaver. I get some decent veins showing up on the lower legs when I get fit and like to show ‘em off – fuzzy hair would hide that. Saw a woman rider on Saturday on an organized ride. At the back of her right le… »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Steampunk This might be a questionable option re the seemingly strong French resurgence, but, assholes like Tricky Dicky V aside, I  think the French ran a lot cleaner than a lot of nationalities during the 90s and oughts. Maybe now that the playing f… »

  2. @Steampunk Agreed, agreed, agreed. I love how riders are going for it – like Nibbles in Stage 2 or Gallopin today. A lot of riders, especially French ones, would have been happy with a day in yellow. That’s not enough for Gallopin. After munching down a… »

  3. Talansky is home inside the time limit. Awesome ride! I hope he gets some good rest in the next few hours. Chapeau! »

When it comes to Rule Compliance, we have at our disposal three viable options. The first is to Obey the Rules. That one is pretty straight-forward because we wrote them down for you and also went to the great length of writing a book on the subject, partly as a public service to those suffering from insomnia. But The Rules are full of apparent...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @Owen Is that the Mini-Phinney version of Prancercize? And is that a COTHO cockring he’s wearing? »

Yes, this makes three Guest Articles in three weeks, but we run the show around here and we do what we want. Especially when it comes to solid, 24-karat gold Cyclist/Rock star comparisons. Especiallier when it comes from none other than Keeper Jim’s lovely wife and food-writer celebrity, Jess Thomson. Its cute seeing the family come togethe...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. @VeloJello You do know we’ll hold you to that! »

Attention all Velominati. The Tour VSP is going on line and it should be a good one. Sure, between Froomy and Bertie a person could hedge their bets but Moviestar is all in for Valverde, BMC for TeeJay, Astana for the Shark and Garmin is finally committing to a team leader in Talansky. Some other teams (ahem…Trek Factory Racing for one) have...

@wiscot's posts:

  1. Almost as much carnage in the VSP as the actual race! Hate to put Valmerde in there but the bastard just won’t fuck off and die. Ol’ man Horner will grind away to 5th. TJ will redeem himself. Porte will try, try and try again to beat Nibbles, but there wi… »

  2. @Ccos No, but picking Froome just jinxed you! He’s away hame tae his mammy, remember? »

  3. @sthilzy You do know Froome’s out, oui? »