Author Archive | brett

The Kapelmuur in January. Photo thenews.com

Cold Fact

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Wellington isn’t renown for its great summers; a mate is always quick to remind me that if the weather was perfect all the time, everyone would want to live here and we’d be overrun by Aucklanders (just like Aussies but not quite dumb enough to live in Canberra). As our summer goes into its last…

Emily Collins (NZ) has some form going

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde Van Drenthe 2013

by / / 89 posts

Ok, so you guys and gals don’t miss a trick, but sometimes we do. In fact, we kind of specialize in it. @Bianchi Denti just texted me to point out, as others have done on site, that we have almost missed the next stop on the VVomen’s VSP calendar, the Ronde Van Drenthe. On International…

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Anatomy Of A Photo: The Gents Of Wevelgem

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If you ever doubted for a minute that the hardmen of yore drafted the blueprint for The Rules, you need only look at these fine examples to be reminded that no matter how limited the resources they had to work with, they still managed to do a better job of Looking Fantastic than we ever could.…

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Riding Ugly: Fernando Escartin

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Sometimes, getting the job done means doing it by any means necessary. Football coaches, who have just seen their team scrape out a win by a dour defensive effort and a lucky goal, refer to it as “winning ugly”. But any true Velominatus would rather lose photogenically than win ugly. In fact, our credo could…

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V Day

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Ah, February 14 is here again. A very special day for all of us. A day you don’t want to forget. A day when you make that extra effort to show the one you love just how much they mean to you. V Day. On this day, I will rise early, tiptoeing out of bed…

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Reverence: Malteni

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Cyclists can (and usually do) go on for hours as to why they ride their bikes, and most of their reasons can sound, well, a bit flakey to anyone not enamored with shaved legs and being done up in lycra. “I do it to keep fit”, “It keeps me slim”, “I’m a competitor, I love…

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Il Progetto: The Bozzie Is Single

by / / 68 posts

Let’s talk about bikes. Yeah, bikes are good. After all, they are “the central tool to our craft.” They are the reason we became Velominati, the portal through which we travelled to this life. When we were kids, we saw a bike for the first time; we liked the look of it, and when we…

Carbone.

Not Really A ReView: ENVE SES 3.4 Wheelset

by / / 68 posts

It was said by someone in the posts following Gianni’s excellent review of his tubeless system that an honest, long term analysis by a ‘real’ rider was most welcome. Well, you’re not going to get that here. You will get honesty, for sure, but ‘long term’ doesn’t come into the equation when a week is the…

'Tan' Dam skins up in La Vuelta

Return Of The Gumwall

by / / 142 posts

If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that ‘useful’ things like practicality and functionality can often take a back seat to more basic pursuit of aesthetics and taste. If you haven’t, then your name might just be Paul. You may have also become aware that there is occasional flagrant flouting of certain guidelines…

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Anatomy Of A Photo: Professeur Pavé

by / / 81 posts

Despite being a bald, visually challenged Velominatus, I envy only one other man from the peloton past. The only man who could pull off the historically near-impossible chrome-dome/ponytail combination, and couple it with a pair of wire-rimmed reading glasses yet still manage to exude a lethal concoction of Gallic style, hardness and pure V that…

It looks so innocent.

Belgian Affirmations: Beer And Bloating On The Koppenberg

by / / 41 posts

The memories still foment in my mind. They don’t keep me up at night, but they are there, hidden in the recesses of my recall mechanism or whatever it is called, sitting there waiting, waiting to remind me of the darkest day of Keepers Tour ’12. The day of the Ronde, and the horrors that…

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Velominati Super Prestige: Giro di Lombardia 2012

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Il Grillo gives it some stick in 06. Photo: actionplus sports images[/caption] Lombardia is a beautiful race. Taking in the majestic shoreline of Lake Como and climbing past the shrine to the Madonna del Ghisallo, its stunning Italian-ness bookends the Monuments along with Milan-San Remo which started them way back in March. And it’s a…

Nothin cheesy about this 'Burger. Photo: Canadian Cyclist

Anatomy Of A Photo: Hamburger with Extra Sauce

by / / 42 posts

The EPO Era threw up some surprise World Champions from the early ’90s to the mid ’00s. Riders juiced to the gills meant that the rainbow jumper could go to anyone who not only had the form on the bike, but their program sorted and the luck on the day. You could throw a dart…

Rui Costa leafs the opposition behind in 2011. Photo: Rob Jones

Velominati Super Prestige: Grand Prix Cycliste de Montreal 2012

by / / 120 posts

Ok, as some of you have been reminding us, this one slipped off the radar last year, and threatened to do the same again this time. Is it because it’s held in Canada? That despite a quality field and only two weeks away from the Worlds, it’s in Canada? That even though the course is…

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Breaking The Rules: #29

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As we gingerly assembled outside the gite, the Belgian sun shining for the first time in the three days we’d been in the spiritual home of cycling, the conversation was muted; what do you say to a legend of the sport, an apostle in his parish about to hold a sermon on two wheels? I…

"It's a quiche Florentine, I swear..."

Evanescent Riders: L.E. ‘Juan’ Gunderson

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The name Laurence Ernest Gunderson is not one that the general public know too well, at least before the events of the past week. The US cyclist was relatively famous within the sport, but ask Joe Average who he was and you’d be met with a blank stare. But now, he’s back-page news on newspapers…

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The Works: The Official Treasures Of Le Tour de France

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If you’re looking for doping scandals, controversy, or lanky Brits with questionable dress sense calling people wankers, then this book is not for you. If you are looking for a comprehensive collection of memorabilia and interesting tidbits on the history of the world’s largest sporting event, then look no further than this beautifully presented tome.…

From a Fiat to a Ferrari

Evanescent Riders Of The 90s: Bjarne Riis

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I know what you’re thinking. How can one label Bjarne Riis an Evanescent Rider? He was a champion, he won the Tour, and went on to become one of the leading Directors Sportif in cycling. Yeah, well, just because he hung around long enough to get the right program and then jagged a job as…

Reverence: Vittoria Open Pavé CG

Reverence: Vittoria Open Pavé CG

by / / 147 posts

Normally The Keepers reserve our Reverence articles for products we’ve used for years, or with new stuff that has had at least six months of duty. Riding the cobbles of Belgium and Northern France can put most gear (and bodies) through six months of abuse in just a few weeks, so in this case the…

Copybook under the arm technique. Photo: José Sandoval/Velorazzi

Spitting Image

by / / 84 posts

When I was but a young Velominatus, my poor mother was often horrified/embarrassed/disgusted by my typical boy’s habit of sucking back the mucous from the back of my throat and swallowing it… yes, I know, now you’re disgusted too. Taking me to seek a cure from the good Dr Edwards, he let her down somewhat…