Author Archive | brett

My absolution. My altar.

Saved By The Bike

by / / 151 posts

Addiction is typically defined as a bad thing. Addiction to drugs, to alcohol, sex or even work is usually portrayed as a condition to be battled, to overcome. The same sources may recommend a strict regime of regular exercise and healthy living as the perfect antidote to the bad addictions that befall an overwhelming majority of…

welly 016

The Importance of Environment

by / / 41 posts

While all evidence points to the contrary, the 20th century’s greatest twatwaffle LE Gunderson may have got something at least half right after all. Of course it’s about the bike, otherwise we’d be runners. But there are other factors that contribute to what makes us Cyclists which can often be overlooked completely. Not the clothes…

20-Finestre-RTRVH6G-2005

Dirty Romantics

by / / 43 posts

We’re into day three of the Six Days of the Giro series, and it’s time to hit the dirt. If ever a Keepers Tour goes to Italy, then we’re doing this climb. No doubt. Climbing on gravel up a real mountain, what’s not to love? In fact, you could probably do an entire Italian Gravé…

This machine kills cobbles

Riding Ugly: Damien Gaudin

by / / 34 posts

The simple art of riding a bicycle can be undertaken in many ways. Watching the stylish commuters of Amsterdam going about their business in the most Casually Deliberate way makes you wonder if indeed anyone is actually going about any business at all. I don’t know how anything ever gets done in that city; everyone…

The Lion cooks up a helping of V-cakes for Faboo after dishing out the hurt on Le Carrefour de l'Arbre

Velominati Super Prestige: Paris-Roubaix 2013

by / / 347 posts

It looks so easy on the television. Well, no, actually it looks pretty bloody hard. We think we have some understanding of how they suffer, how their bodies can take the continual beating. But we don’t really know. Not even by riding these abominations they call roads twice in the space of a few days…

This is the real Ronde

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde van Vlaanderen 2013

by / / 276 posts

Imagine a world without the little things we take for granted; a house without a roof, a pub with no beer, a Keepers Tour without any clothes. The last one is a reality for me at the moment, five days in and still no trace of where the hell between Wellington and Paris my bag…

The Kapelmuur in January. Photo thenews.com

Cold Fact

by / / 108 posts

Wellington isn’t renown for its great summers; a mate is always quick to remind me that if the weather was perfect all the time, everyone would want to live here and we’d be overrun by Aucklanders (just like Aussies but not quite dumb enough to live in Canberra). As our summer goes into its last…

Emily Collins (NZ) has some form going

Velominati Super Prestige: Ronde Van Drenthe 2013

by / / 89 posts

Ok, so you guys and gals don’t miss a trick, but sometimes we do. In fact, we kind of specialize in it. @Bianchi Denti just texted me to point out, as others have done on site, that we have almost missed the next stop on the VVomen’s VSP calendar, the Ronde Van Drenthe. On International…

gw3

Anatomy Of A Photo: The Gents Of Wevelgem

by / / 73 posts

If you ever doubted for a minute that the hardmen of yore drafted the blueprint for The Rules, you need only look at these fine examples to be reminded that no matter how limited the resources they had to work with, they still managed to do a better job of Looking Fantastic than we ever could.…

1999-07-20-tour-de-france-fernando-escartin-4_3_rx812_c1080x810

Riding Ugly: Fernando Escartin

by / / 37 posts

Sometimes, getting the job done means doing it by any means necessary. Football coaches, who have just seen their team scrape out a win by a dour defensive effort and a lucky goal, refer to it as “winning ugly”. But any true Velominatus would rather lose photogenically than win ugly. In fact, our credo could…

129940463_6a541bcc8d_z

V Day

by / / 83 posts

Ah, February 14 is here again. A very special day for all of us. A day you don’t want to forget. A day when you make that extra effort to show the one you love just how much they mean to you. V Day. On this day, I will rise early, tiptoeing out of bed…

P1110710-620x413

Reverence: Malteni

by / / 121 posts

Cyclists can (and usually do) go on for hours as to why they ride their bikes, and most of their reasons can sound, well, a bit flakey to anyone not enamored with shaved legs and being done up in lycra. “I do it to keep fit”, “It keeps me slim”, “I’m a competitor, I love…

P1130475

Il Progetto: The Bozzie Is Single

by / / 68 posts

Let’s talk about bikes. Yeah, bikes are good. After all, they are “the central tool to our craft.” They are the reason we became Velominati, the portal through which we travelled to this life. When we were kids, we saw a bike for the first time; we liked the look of it, and when we…

Carbone.

Not Really A ReView: ENVE SES 3.4 Wheelset

by / / 68 posts

It was said by someone in the posts following Gianni’s excellent review of his tubeless system that an honest, long term analysis by a ‘real’ rider was most welcome. Well, you’re not going to get that here. You will get honesty, for sure, but ‘long term’ doesn’t come into the equation when a week is the…

'Tan' Dam skins up in La Vuelta

Return Of The Gumwall

by / / 142 posts

If you’ve been paying attention, you may have noticed that ‘useful’ things like practicality and functionality can often take a back seat to more basic pursuit of aesthetics and taste. If you haven’t, then your name might just be Paul. You may have also become aware that there is occasional flagrant flouting of certain guidelines…

IMG_0020

Anatomy Of A Photo: Professeur Pavé

by / / 81 posts

Despite being a bald, visually challenged Velominatus, I envy only one other man from the peloton past. The only man who could pull off the historically near-impossible chrome-dome/ponytail combination, and couple it with a pair of wire-rimmed reading glasses yet still manage to exude a lethal concoction of Gallic style, hardness and pure V that…

It looks so innocent.

Belgian Affirmations: Beer And Bloating On The Koppenberg

by / / 41 posts

The memories still foment in my mind. They don’t keep me up at night, but they are there, hidden in the recesses of my recall mechanism or whatever it is called, sitting there waiting, waiting to remind me of the darkest day of Keepers Tour ’12. The day of the Ronde, and the horrors that…

noimage

Velominati Super Prestige: Giro di Lombardia 2012

by / / 272 posts

Il Grillo gives it some stick in 06. Photo: actionplus sports images[/caption] Lombardia is a beautiful race. Taking in the majestic shoreline of Lake Como and climbing past the shrine to the Madonna del Ghisallo, its stunning Italian-ness bookends the Monuments along with Milan-San Remo which started them way back in March. And it’s a…

Nothin cheesy about this 'Burger. Photo: Canadian Cyclist

Anatomy Of A Photo: Hamburger with Extra Sauce

by / / 42 posts

The EPO Era threw up some surprise World Champions from the early ’90s to the mid ’00s. Riders juiced to the gills meant that the rainbow jumper could go to anyone who not only had the form on the bike, but their program sorted and the luck on the day. You could throw a dart…

Rui Costa leafs the opposition behind in 2011. Photo: Rob Jones

Velominati Super Prestige: Grand Prix Cycliste de Montreal 2012

by / / 120 posts

Ok, as some of you have been reminding us, this one slipped off the radar last year, and threatened to do the same again this time. Is it because it’s held in Canada? That despite a quality field and only two weeks away from the Worlds, it’s in Canada? That even though the course is…

Skip to toolbar