Archive | The Rules

Photo: Jim Fryer / BrakeThrough Media | brakethroughmedia.com

FFS Friday: Rule #95 Violations

by / / 57 posts

This festering blight on the Cycling landscape seemed to start with cross-country mountain bikers, who often finish their race alone and have time to stop at the finish line, look around to see if there are any spectators in attendance, then bend over like a shaved praying mantis to struggle with the 7 kilogram heft…

We need to be tough on and off the bike.

Cut Like a Buffalo

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Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 Hour Rule suggests that mastering a skill comes down to an incredible amount of practice; however talented you might be, it is the cultivation of raw talent into skill that distinguishes between success and failure. To train is to practice, and every hour we spend devoted to our craft is one spent…

Paterberg

Guest Article- Number Crunching

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@Bea contributed this Guesty with the note below excerpted.  I know The Rules since before I started riding a bike. I mocked my cyclist-friend, asked him why he didn’t do triathlon and he answered with “Rule #42” and sent me the link to the website. Too bad I got that email while watching students during…

The boys discussing #43.

Rule #43

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I wonder if Rule #43 should be sublimated on our bibs too. It might be my most favorite Rule. Don’t be a jackass. But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road. As a Keeper on the Velominati site, it irritates me…

Today is a good day to ride.

The Fasting Ride

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I’ve been doing fasting rides on the weekend, before breakfast and maybe also before lunch, depending on how long the ride is. The longer the ride, the lower the intensity. Also the more likely I am to meet my old friend, the Man with the Hammer. I might bring an Emergency Gel, in its glass tube, but I…

Look good to feel good.

Rule #33 Dilemmas

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As I write this, Rule #33 is being hammered on over in The Rules. This is a hell of a Rule, demanding legs be kept shaven at all times. I believe for most Velominati “at all times” is a tough ask. No one is saying you have to shave the guns everyday, unless you have…

There are a few subtle indications of this not being  the right way to do it.

Doing It Wrong

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Cycling is a complex sport, one whose fabric is densely woven from the fibers of a Hundred Years War between evolution and tradition. The Rules were laid out in part to provide a path through the chaos, helping lead the disciple towards transcendence. In the words of Pablo Picasso, “Learn the rules like a pro, so…

Always store your bike in the mechanic's position: small-small to ease tension on the derailleur springs. Photo: Pedale.Forchetta

On Rules #26 and #65: Spring Theory

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To hold opposing truths in one’s heart is a beautiful thing; to find resonance within contradiction is a liberating force that opens one’s mind to a wide world of possibilities. Life lived in black and white is a bland, simple world, after all: everything interesting in life happens in the gray space in between. There is…

Disregard, or deference?

On Rule #30: In Defence Of The Frame Pump

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Going against the grain is something I think I’ve been doing with some degree of success for a good portion of my existence. A lot of people look at my life with a kind of disdain, mixed with a hint of envy and a dash of bemusement; how could I not have a wife/kids/mortgage and…

Mr Strack, Mr Merckx and The Rules

How Did We Get to Here?

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How did we get to here? Here is Frank, the founder of Velominati, standing next to Eddy Merckx. Eddy is looking at The Rules, in Rouleur’s book-zine format. Frank is in his best button down sweater, trying to keep his shit together. And it is not easy for him to do this as Rouleur has…

Your partner's better be better.   photo: Eroica Cicli

Rule #12: The Fine Print

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Rule #12. Someone was working overtime to come up with this beauty. One should always be dreaming about the next bike unless the next bike means divorce, restraining orders and/or living in a van down by the river. Velominati need and enjoy having some limits set as were are prone to excess in all things.…

Everything is so right.

The Aesthete’s Choice

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It has not escaped my attention that as I’ve evolved away from my original profession as a software developer and moved towards systems and solutions architecture and management, that I have tended to focus more on the theoretical aspects that support its fundamental principles rather than on the discrete activities that drive its execution. Being further removed from the work, it…

Misty Mountain Hop

The Nine Kit

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Riding in bad weather is an incredible experience assuming you don’t fall off and break your hip, or you don’t get hit by a car. Those realities aside, the weather adds a dimension to the ride that you simply don’t have on a sunny day, lovely as they are. The other day I was riding early…

Hold That Thought- image by ride2monza

Rule #55: Earn Your Turns

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I did go out seeking endorphins and inspiration. These articles don’t just write themselves. A climb and descent might just get enough O2 to the brain to knock something loose. Descending from our climb I did get inspired. An article about Rule #55; a descent is enjoyed so much more if you climbed it first.…

Rule #41 Violation forces Tour Champ to swap bikes.

On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

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Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time…

The Master

Guest Article: Testing Rule #12

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If Rule #12 does not smolder deep in your soul, you might not be a Velominatus. I’ll still be riffling through bike magazine porn, from the inevitable wheelchair, in the old folks home. Some of us have hidden new bikes from our better halves. Every known bit of subterfuge has been employed to downplay the…

Thirsty Work

Guest Article: Drink Properly

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Where would cycling be without the malted recovery beverage? Does El Pistolero crush a few pints after the Giro? A cold Spanish white wine just does not do it. That notion makes me angry just thinking about it. A good beer in a proper glass; it’s like a clean chain whizzing through the drivetrain, magic.…

Pantani shows how to do it.

Look Pro: Baller

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Whenever something tries to be something it isn’t, you wind up getting into trouble. Those Cutlass Cruisers in the 70’s and 80’s with vinyl wood panelling weren’t fooling anyone. Neither are those linoleum tiles in my kitchen; not one person in history has ever mistaken them for being marble. And Lycra has never tricked anyone into believing…

It is time to confess your sins.

On Rule #3: The Apocalypse

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With The Rules being officially published in three languages (English English, American English, and soon Dutch) and now also being offered in a large full-color format by Rouleur, it is time for the Keepers to accept the reality that Rule #3 is perhaps the most important Rule of all and one which must be enforced vigilantly, even…

Be these monks, or Keepers?

Guest Article- When Is a Sticker Not a Sticker?

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We are presently in the calm eye of the Spring Classics typhoon. Last weekend the Ronde blew through leaving more questions than answers and now this Sunday, blowing in the opposite French direction with just as much power, Paris-Roubaix. Between storms let us gather our inner cyclist and meditate upon our ancient scrolls of The…

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