Archive | The Rules

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Rule 43: Don’t be a Jackass

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Not being a jackass seems simple enough in spirit but can be difficult to operationalize. Waving to another cyclist because they are on a bike and not ‘the right’ kind of bike reduces your jackassness. But what if that cyclist is clearly riding his daughter’s bike to work because he probably got a third DUI?…

Rik van Looy, The Emperor, proving that Steel is Real

The Rule #5 Talk

by / / 490 posts

Have a look around to see who you find occupying your immediate vicinity. Presently, I am surrounded by a pleasant-seeming bunch. Some are even going so far as to appear happy or at least not displeased; all of them are pale and none of them fit. My attention is drawn, however, to a a portly…

The Badger had it worked out.

La Vie Velominatus: The Goldilocks Principle

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The Rules are about cultivating a passion for riding our bikes to gain the maximum enjoyment possible. This requires humility, for one thing, and devotion, for another. It requires a balance between focusing on progress and enjoying the journey. It demands a reverence for our history paired with a hunger for evolution. The Rules teach…

Tool of the Anti-Merckx?   Photo from head2totalhealth.com

Guest Article: Anti-Reverence? The Spin Bike.

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Our balaclava wearing friend, @Oracle, submitted this winter reflection on the V. The article is a little ripe, but for many, spring is still a long way off and the gym or a balaclava are the only solutions to some tough questions.  Yours in Cycling, Gianni — This past winter, I went round a bit…

Rule 47 is one of the most important additions.

New Rules

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The Rules – They were never expected to become this well known. Nor was the list ever going to get this long or be taken this seriously. The Rules were first suggested as a few basic guidelines just to keep some basic civility and decorum on the road. But we took it too far (as…

Photo: The Atlantic

Rule #5: Racing Hoogerland-Style

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Johnny Hoogerland, on receiving the Tour de France Rule #5 Award: I normally don’t drink that much beer anymore but having my first off-season beer in this glass makes it taste great. I moved to my new home and will find it a great place because it honors my way of racing. Fitting words from…

P1010595

Rule 8: It’s Gotta Be The Shoes

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What Gianni humbly omitted from his last article is that once he finishes ranting about sock color (actually, the lack of need for any color other than than white), he recovers quickly and we wrap up the Keepers executive board meeting with him tearing our legs off on the ride home from the bar with…

Evidence A  photo: Chris

Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

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Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.” You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of…

Fignon gets on with the job of being a Cyclist

On Rule #9: Love the Work

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Fitness. The rhythm, the feeling of precision in our movement, the sensations of The Ride. The temptation of knowing we might in some way control our suffering even as we push harder in spite of the searing pain in our legs and lungs. The notion that through suffering, we might learn something rudimentary about ourselves – that we might…

Madonna! What time is it?  photo:Reuters

Guest Article: The Ride Starts On Time. No Exceptions.

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In light of the first North American Cogal (a Cogal is a gathering of Velominati just like a Cabal was a gathering of Illuminati); this Guest Article by community lurker @gmoosh seems apropos. Except that obviously every ride starts at V past the hour. In this spirit, we have added Rule #87. Message from the Keepers…

Mountain roads in the Mount Rainier Valley

Where Angels Fly

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When you’re digging deeper into Rock and Roll, you’re on a freight train headed straight for the blues. – Jack White The analog for this in Cycling is that as we dig deeper into cycling, we’re headed for The Mountains. Suffering is the altar of our sport, and Rule VV emphasizes the experience: the pain…

Paul Sherwen lays down The V in the late Seventies

Paul Sherwen

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Paul Sherwen is generally seen as Phil Liggett’s counter-point, dutifully keeping the iconic duo’s race commentary on course, helping to convey to the English-speaking world the sport of Professional Cycling. Liggett, of course, has undeniably helped shape this great sport  for Anglophones across the globe, having been the English voice of this sport since before…

Rule5AwardHoogerland

Tour de France Rule #5 Award: Johnny Hoogerland

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Rule #5AwardHoogerland” src=”http://www.velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Rule5AwardHoogerland1-620×465.jpg” alt=”” width=”620″ height=”465″ /> Not an absolute; the beauty of Rule #5 is the graduated scale upon which it is measured. Rule #5 means to push yourself beyond the signals your body sends to stop what you’re doing, usually with ever-increasing urgency. It means to disobey reason and to surpass physical boundaries…

treAmichi

Guest Article: Reverence – Rule 33 For the Risk Averse

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We’re going to take advantage of our break in the Velominati Super Prestige to get a few articles out that have been sitting in the queue but haven’t had the opportunity to see the light of day due to the busy race schedule. Besides, we’ve spent the last two days bemoaning a couple skinny kids’ lack of…

The sturdiest seat post clamp in the world?

Irreverence: Starting with Rules 48 and 49

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My work has me spending much time on college and university campuses.  Among the myriad fads that are sweeping the dirtbag and hipster college student sets these days is riding the retro bike around.  My feelings on this fad is “more power to them”.  I’ve got no qualms with college students on meager incomes recycling…

Spiderman rides again.  Photo: John Peake

Breaking the Rules: 33

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There’s been a lot of talk around these parts lately, a lot of strange, crazy talk. Grown men discussing their weight and height and BMI, discussing how sensitive we are to the offence caused by the terms with which we describe our female riding (and life) partners, grown men talking about other stuff that probably isn’t…

Imagine this, but with white bibs or worn-out Lycra. Not good.

Don’t Be An Ass: Just Say No To Bad Lycra

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I didn’t think this article would ever need to become reality. I thought we could safely file this one in the “Obviously Not Allowed, Fucktards” bin alongside the Rules for reflectors, kickstands, and recumbents. But I stand corrected. I’ve been playing around with clever, subtle ways of phrasing this, looking for the right touch to…

bow-to-your-sensei

On Rule 2: Cycling Sensei

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My buddy Chris wants to buy a road bike.  His primary reason for this is to improve his fitness after splitting his patella in half on a rock while skiing a couple weeks ago.   He believes that riding a bicycle, after his arduous healing process is complete, will be easy on his knees and provide…

Obree in the initial stages of innovation. Photo via obree.com

Breaking the Rules: Graeme Obree

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I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Innovation is ugly, inelegant. By it’s very definition, it is carried out with almost a kind of contempt for The Rules. With no regard for aesthetics, it is a domain ventured into by the casually courageous and mentally frail. It comes in fits and starts,…

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