International Cogal: Festum Prophetae

Artwork: @mcsqueak // Original photograph: Stephan Vanfleteren

It came to me in a moment of absolute clarity, the kind of clarity which only arrives to one in an oxygen-depleted state and at high speed – usually down a steep descent. It would be awfully nice to justify wearing my Molteni jersey, rather than having it hanging in my workshop all the time.

It had been suggested a few times already by the time the notion came to me last winter, that Velominati should organize an international Cogal on which all of us around the world would climb aboard our bicycles in honor of each other, and devote the day to riding. It is, after all, what we do; we ride our bikes. The rest is detail.

While the idea is simple enough, the selection of a date has proven positively futile. Summer on the Upper Half of the planet (you know the one – the one that matters) means VVinter for the Lower Half. When the Lower Half (you know the one, the one with all the convicts and Aztecs) is in summer, the important side is snowed in or sopping wet. You simply can’t choose a day that works for everyone.

The solution, of course, is simple: I unilaterally pick a date for the entire community and shove it down everyone’s throat by the virtue of being louder than almost anyone else (with the exception of the bloke sitting just behind me and to my left at the café; that is one loud-mouthed bastard, that.)

Being the type of person I am, with all the personality defects I have at my disposal, I was still perplexed by the selection of a date that holds significant meaning for all our community. January first, so we may ride off our hangovers. October 3rd, to celebrate Leiden’s liberty from the Spanish. Then the epiphany as I flew down Lighthouse Hill towards the shore of Puget Sound, where Pearl Jam and Sound Garden once rocked out in the weeds: the Velominati International Cogal will be held every year in honor of The Prophet’s birthday, June 17.

Every Velominatus is free to observe this day however they like. Take a holiday from work; declare an exemption due to your specific religious requirements. Ride on the day, in a way that helps you honor the way Eddy rode himself. Ride lots, was his sage training advice. I like to surprise my rivals, was his explanation attacking 70 or 80 or 90 or 100km from the finish. However you ride, on Festum Prophetae each year, we will honor The Prophet. We may also choose, as is customary with other holidays, to arrange within our immediate community to designate the nearest convenient day to observe the holiday. If taking the day to honor him is impractical on the 17th, designate a nearby day that works better for you.

Mark your calendars for June 17, Festum Prophetae*. Personally, I will climb aboard my steel Bike #2 fitted with tubular tires, don my wool Molteni Jersey and head out with only a bit of food in my jersey pocket and water in my bidon with the express intent to meet the Man with the Hammer. No mean feat, considering the Seattle Summer Cogal will have taken place only the day before. Two Cogals in one weekend: I can’t think of a better way to honor him.

Vive la Vie Velominatus.

*A special thanks to @ChrisO for helping determine the “correct” latin phrase.

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284 Replies to “International Cogal: Festum Prophetae”

  1. @the Engine

    @smithers

    @mrhallorann

    @frank

    @morten okbo

    Fucking badass.

    +1!!! I fucking love how stern everyone, even the kids, look in this photo. No fucking about..”We ride, and we ride far. And we do not smile.”

    Awesome.

    …all bar the dude third from left with the side on pose.

    For he is tremendously the only gay in the village.

    I suspect he advises all the others on the Rules – observe the strictly correct sock lengths, the length of the shorts (although the whitish ones at the back may be a little too short (or are they rucked up)- only the shades let him and his friend with the beard down – and of course his friends beard. Picture definition isn’t good enough to say whether all guns are indeed smooth but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.

    Could anyone find a picture of nine cyclists giving fewer points away collectively on breaches of the Rules?

    I love the richness of character in this photo. Gay or not, 3rd left looks gloriously fabulous and fucking KNOWS it. More power to him. Rigid in dead centre looks like he eats ball bearings for breakfast and always has seconds. Far right is my favourite of all. Looks like he takes any motherfucker on in a town sign sprint and doesn’t know the meaning of ‘lose’.

    And @Smithers, you do damn right to apologise for the peado comments. It’s clear as day these kids are their own children so you were bang out of order. Apology accepted however.

  2. @the Engine

    What you can’t see is the March drizzle blowing in off the Baltic – they’re doing well not be a funny blue colour.

    March drizzle? Looks pretty sunny and dry in that picture, judging by the contrast with the shadows… But Blue with that Orange kit would be cool. Totally complementary colours.

  3. @Buck Rogers
    I’d intended to put up some pics of the Mercian when I fixed it up, but never sat down and put buttons to interwebs until today.

  4. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @Buck Rogers
    I’d intended to put up some pics of the Mercian when I fixed it up, but never sat down and put buttons to interwebs until today.

    She’s a true belle.

    We’ll have to meet at least one more time before I leave TX this late August. I’ll ride my ’92 Team Motorola Merckx that is competely period correct and you can ride your gorgeous Mercian and we can slip back to the days of young legs and cycling memories that I am always chasing down the road just in front of me.

  5. @Buck Rogers
    Yes, please. I’d love to.

    I don’t know if this happens to you, but when I ride my old bike, I look down, and it’s as if 25 years hadn’t happened yet. My hands and arms are the same. My legs are the same. The bike is the same. The roads are the same. The different position on the bike instantly turns on long dark muscle memory and I fall into my old riding sensations as if they’d never lay dormant.

    I hope I can keep climbing into my little time machine for another 25 years.

  6. @versio
    When I ride my Mercian, it’s kind of like a cogal. I ride with memories that come so quickly and easily back to me. Memories of races, training rides, and conversations pop up and surprise me. It’s like a cogal with my young self and all of his friends.

    Mostly I ride my Mercian by myself, but I’m never alone.

  7. @Jeff in PetroMetro

    @versio
    When I ride my Mercian, it’s kind of like a cogal. I ride with memories that come so quickly and easily back to me. Memories of races, training rides, and conversations pop up and surprise me. It’s like a cogal with my young self and all of his friends.

    Mostly I ride my Mercian by myself, but I’m never alone.

    Really like Highlander, but on a bike instead? Sorry — you bring it out of me.

  8. A prayer to recite on the day, written by myself and @rigid in a drunken state on the day of Roubaix 2011…

    Our Father who art in Belgium
    Eddy be thy name
    thy cobbles come, thy hands are numb
    from pavé
    as it isn’t heaven

    Give us this day our daily V (five),
    and forgive us our rule violations,
    as we drop those who attack against us,
    lead us not off our line
    but deliver us from COTHO.

    For thine is the big ring,
    and the power, and the glory,
    for Eddy and ever.

    A-merckx.

  9. @Xyverz

    @the Engine

    What you can’t see is the March drizzle blowing in off the Baltic – they’re doing well not be a funny blue colour.

    March drizzle? Looks pretty sunny and dry in that picture, judging by the contrast with the shadows… But Blue with that Orange kit would be cool. Totally complementary colours.

    You’ve obviously not been to Denmark (especially Aarhus, which sits about 3/4 the way up the peninsula). You can be bathed in what looks like warming sunshine in the middle of Feb when the temperature would be lucky to be above 0.

    Had a look at their blog the other day, the @Rigid look-alike is the ringleader (also known as ‘Il Dottore’) & the one on the far left with the kid who has the 1000 yard stare downpat is the road captain. Looks like they made a trip down to Flanders recently too, the photos are pretty similar to what I expect happened behind the scenes on the KT ’12

  10. @Superman Sam

    @markpa
    Any idea who has the record for the ascent up Mt.Wellington?
    Richie Porte I thought had it, but then recall reading about a Tour of Tasmania some years ago when a young bloke named Cadel Evans smoked up there in under 40 minutes. One of the Sulzbergers might have a good time up there too, but reckon Matt Goss doesn’t.

    The fastest time for the Mt Wellington Challenge is held by Richie Porte (time 49:51 – avg spd 25.43 in 2008 – when he was a triathlete dabbling in cycling). Winners since have been Nathan Earle, Ben Grenda & Campbell Flakemore all of whom are either riding pro or semi-pro.

    Don’t know of any records for the ‘classic’ ride from GPO to top of mountain.

    There were numerous articles last year that referred to Phil Liggett watching Cadel Evans climb Mount Wellington 13 years ago and saying he could go on to win the Tour.

    Also saw that Cameron Wurf racked up a few Strava KOM’s when he was back home prior to Tour of Japan including Mt. W.

    So it’s certainly a climb to test yourself on. Not the steepest of climbs around Hobart but 20km of it will get to you.

    Sadly yesterday I got beaten by Mellifont St at 18%.

  11. Late to the party on this one chaps, but we can now be certain of one thing on an annual basis…

    – there will from now on, on the 17th July, mid afternoon, somewhere on the backroads of Seattle, a lanky retro cyclist, lying by the side of the road in a heap, with the hydration status of a prune, gibbering incoherently in Dutch USA, though caked dusty snot covered lips, “muthafucka, keep going, death or glory, Rule #5 etc”, with a blood sugar of 0.004mmol (normal range 4-7 mmol), beside his perfectly presented bike, carefully resting against a fence, immaculately lined up, should any passerby wish to take a photo of it, as he is ignored, gasping his final breath

    Some things are dead certainties – chapeau Fronk

  12. good grief, why didn’t the spellchecker pick up the June/ July typo….. hope I am spared…

  13. @smithers

    @mrhallorann

    @frank

    @morten okbo

    from denmark, we are with you!

    Fucking badass.

    +1!!! I fucking love how stern everyone, even the kids, look in this photo. No fucking about..”We ride, and we ride far. And we do not smile.”

    Awesome.

    …all bar the dude third from left with the side on pose.

    For he is tremendously the only gay in the village.

    Gold

  14. @Mikael Liddy
    You’re right in that I’ve never been to Denmark. Sadly, I’ve never been across the Atlantic. Been across the pacific 3 times, but never the Atlantic. I’ve otherwise been all over this redneck wonderland.

  15. Back to a familiar feeling in the legs, like Night of the Living Dead. They are well spent (yesterday) and still alive — cannot be stopped. So another ride to balance and test their resilience (today). Then comes Saturday morning A+ group ride. I have been waiting for this for awhile — to satisfy my no. 1 bike.

  16. @saam
    @Oli

    @smithers
    Don’t you think it’s a bit off calling a fellow Velominati and his friends “gay” and “paedophiles?” Pretty fucking well out of order, I reckon.

    Think you may have missed this part of the conversation.

  17. @morten okbo

    Buddy you’re a young man, hard man,
    Hammerin’ in the street, gonna attack the peloton some day!
    You got blood on yo’ face,
    You big disgrace,
    Wavin’ your Lion of Flanders banner all over the place.

    We will we will drop you.
    We will we will drop you.

  18. I have been thinking of Cogal course, looks like the date for the first Reckon ride has been picked. Any rules pertaining to the amount of allowable gravel roads that may be included?

  19. Sunday is a’comin’ fast! Wow.

    Shall be able to fit a ride in with one of my favorite riding pals. And…he just got a new Colnago. We typically go for No Sloping Top Tube Sunday rides, but I might make an except for this thing, which has a slightly sloping TT. It’s silvery grey and white with some Reynolds carbon wheels and Super Record 11. NICE!

    I’ll bring out my Casati or Tommasini. Should be nice weather here, sunny & not too hot.

    Hope everyone is getting excited, has a sweet as route planned, & will be riding with some good pals!

  20. Hey mcsqueak! From a purely looks point of view, I think level TTs are much nicer lookin’. I have a sloping TT bike & don’t catch myself staring at it much. On the other hand, a narrow-tubed traditional geometry bike, yes, I like that. Nothing too philosophical here, I just like level more than sloping.

    And, the NSTTSunday group was kind of a joke, but since we normally just ride on Sunday and don’t try to up the pace, it’s a good day to bring out the older steel steeds with fewer gears and leave the fancy carbon rigs at home.

  21. @Ron

    Haha, no worries I was just prodding you a bit.

    When I first purchased my current bike #1, I bought one with a sloping top tube (deemed “relaxed” by Felt) as I thought it would be more comfortable for me to grow into.

    I was mostly right. It’s been a good bike to grow with and I don’t feel it holds me back in any way, but yeah a nice horizontal tube does look just a bit better – I always feel like the back end of my bike looks a bit like a clown bike (i.e. undersized), with how far the tube goes down. The next bike I buy will probably have more traditional geometry.

  22. Also looking forward to a fine Sunday.

    Mate is expecting delivery of his De Rosa Protos (with Campag electronic) this week, so we’re hoping for a rain free day.

     

  23. Starting life on the big rings tomorrow. (Quint voice) I’m talkin’ ’bout workin’ for a livin’ on a 54 n’ 44 to 11 n’ 21. So, farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies.

  24. @markpa

    Also looking forward to a fine Sunday.

    Mate is expecting delivery of his De Rosa Protos (with Campag electronic) this week, so we’re hoping for a rain free day.

     

     Ho-lee-sheet!

  25. @Blah

    @xyxax

     xyxax = XXX? Ya!

     I owe you big time.  My recently penned novella, recounting the story of a German love-parade organizer struck down in his prime by tuberculosis (kind of Burning Man meets Thomas Mann), tentatively entitled “Mein Cough”, has just found a new title!

    See yalz on Kindle.

  26. @xyxax

    @Blah

    @xyxax

     xyxax = XXX? Ya!

     I owe you big time.  My recently penned novella, recounting the story of a German love-parade organizer struck down in his prime by tuberculosis (kind of Burning Man meets Thomas Mann), tentatively entitled “Mein Cough”, has just found a new title!

    See yalz on Kindle.

     It’s what I do. No problem.

  27. That in response to @markpa’s post.  For some reason the quote button didn’t work.

    The words could apply to @Sauterelle’s post as well save the bit about the tissue…

  28. Agreed Mouse.

    I love De Rosa bikes.

    I hope Markpa’s mate is a good rider. De Rosa is one of the few where it makes me slightly sad to see a beautiful bike ridden by someone unworthy, whereas with others I can appreciate the fact that a lesser rider has chosen the bike because of the superior qualities (myself included).

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen one that didn’t just look beautiful and make me want it.

  29. BTW, and this is the sort of thing that can get one into trouble in my part of the world, so I will choose my words carefully…

    Frank has chosen June 17 as the Festum Prophetae… and it is Merckx’s birthday.

    By a strange coincidence this year (because the date moves each year in the Islamic v Gregorian calendar) June 17 is the day of Isra and Miraj, when Mohammed rode the lightning steed Buraq to Jerusalem in one night and then to heaven to speak with God and the other prophets.

    What’s more I get a day off work to celebrate, so I can tell people I will be wholeheartedly observing the Feast of a Prophet.

  30. @mouse

    OMFG!

    That’s beautiful.

    I need a tissue…

     

    @mouse

    That in response to @markpa’s post.  For some reason the quote button didn’t work.

    The words could apply to @Sauterelle’s post as well save the bit about the tissue…

     Those two posts are worth the price of admission alone… and a +1.

  31. @ChrisO

    BTW, and this is the sort of thing that can get one into trouble in my part of the world, so I will choose my words carefully…

    Frank has chosen June 17 as the Festum Prophetae… and it is Merckx’s birthday.

    By a strange coincidence this year (because the date moves each year in the Islamic v Gregorian calendar) June 17 is the day of Isra and Miraj, when Mohammed rode the lightning steed Buraq to Jerusalem in one night and then to heaven to speak with God and the other prophets.

    What’s more I get a day off work to celebrate, so I can tell people I will be wholeheartedly observing the Feast of a Prophet.

     What amazing symmetry. Enjoy your day, and Merckxspeed. 

    Thanks again for helping come up with the name; your knowledge is most admired.

    @mouse

     If you’re having issue with the reply/quote – hit reload or empty your cache. We have a new commenting system and its hard to purge everyone’s browser of the old guts.

    And, at @brett‘s request, the +1 badge goes to you this week. Cheers.

  32. A Psalm to sing for the Festum:

    from the Cyclist’s Psalter

     

     23

     

    Eddy Merckx is the prophet; I shall not abandon.
    He maketh me to spin in the big ring;
    He leadeth me across the Flemish mirror.
    He restoreth my climbone;

     

     

     

     

     

    He leadeth me on the path of the V for the V’s sake.
    Yea, though I ride the pavé on this Sunday in Hell,
    I shall fear no puncture,
    For Merckx is with me;

     

     

     

     

     

    Thy cadence and thy tuck, they comfort me.
    Thou preparest a lead out before me in the presence of my wheelsuckers;
    Thou anoinest my head with a bidon;
    My helmet runneth over.

     

     

     

    Surely the Man with the Hammer shall draft me all the days of my life,
    But I will attack in the breakaway of Merckx forever.

     

     

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