The Perfect Amount of Dumb

Welcome to the Kermis. It’s not a recycling, it’s a reintroduction. The idea is to repost an old article that still resonates today and see where it goes. We will endeavor not to abuse this feature.

I’ve referred to Frank’s fantastic Perfect Amount of Dumb article at least five times in my own posts. My reference is usually that I’m dumb but it’s cycling related dumb. I’ve got the dumb part covered, not the Motorcus part. I so love his unexpected title and the post, it needs to do another lap.

I was just watching Tyler Mini Phinney’s post Dubai TT interview thinking, this kid has the perfect amount of dumb to be great. He shops at the Big and Tall shop, so I like him already. And his brain is way up there, in the thin air, so he choses his words carefully, like climbers at 8,000 meters. He’s got It.

No American Cyclist has won a Monument. Abandy has won more Monuments than LeMan? Merckx forgive me for uttering that last sentence. Greg was our last best chance but this new Phinney-Carpenter hybrid might somehow, someday get on the stones, get really incensed, and prove he has the perfect amount of dumb.

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59 Replies to “The Perfect Amount of Dumb”

  1. What if i would like to send you some “paragraphs ” i have which i think you would love to read FranKeepers ? Where can i send it ?

  2. @Jamie

    On a totally different note, a friend and I may have exhibited very nearly the perfect amount of dumb on Saturday.

    • My buddy and I planned to ride with the Seattle Randonneurs on one of their winter training rides: Not dumb necessarily, but dorky to be sure.
    • Didn’t check the website morning of the ride to see that the ride was cancelled due to snow: The right amount of dumb.
    • Found one other guy in the parking lot who didn’t check the website either and decided that since it wasn’t snowing just then and since he had a queue sheet, we should ride anyway: The right amount of dumb.
    • Continuing with our new friend despite the fact that he got us lost before we were even out of town: The right amount of dumb.
    • Halfway through the ride, rolling over 30+ km of snow choked roadway resulting in brakes, cassettes, derailleurs, etc packed with snow and ice: The right amount of dumb.
    • Once again missing a turn (or three) and winding up in Puyallup Washington instead of back to our starting point of Auburn Washington resulting ultimately in a total of 130 km instead of the scheduled 96 km: The right amount of dumb.
    • Wrapping up the ride so late that we had to forgo the post ride malted recovery beverage to avoid incurring the wrath of the VMH: Unacceptably Dumb

    Jamie, dude, chapeau!

  3. @Teocalli I am in Summit County. A bit of a pedal away from the Butte. Enjoy, this season has been unreal with fresh snow. Be safe if you venture off piste, Avy season in full tilt.

  4. A bit left of topic this – but in my opinion on the shock and awe side of the perfect amount of dumb..  A local Aussie TV actor has just completed 15,500-odd K’s riding a zig-zag across the country – on a unicycle.  He raised $1.5m for cancer research, his sister is dying of the disease.

    Pretty fucking bit effort  …  see http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/samuel-johnson-sets-unicycling-world-record-for-his-sister-raises-14-million-for-cancer-research/story-fneuzlbd-1226826130251

  5. Immediately thought of this article after hearing Mini-Phinney’s comments after his win in ATOC yesterday:

    When asked why he decided to attack on the descent, Phinney said, “”Stupidity maybe? Sometimes you just have a voice inside that says go. I know I can go downhill faster than everyone else, mainly because I weigh more than everyone else. Something inside me said to go for it. I got to the bottom with a gap and said, ‘well, I’m committed now.’ I kept getting splits from the moto and it was looking good. The more I went the more painful it got, but I knew it would be worth it if I made it. It’s the best way to win, like that.”

    It was a pretty gutsy move. And a lot of fun to watch.

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