I like definition, to place things in a box and tightly seal the lid. It makes me feel comfortable, like another of life’s little mysteries has been stored away for safe keeping. I also love ambiguity; it is the space wherein all interesting questions are asked; the unknown is life’s greatest beauty. You might say that makes me a hypocrite but I prefer to think of it as a paradox.

The subjective choices surrounding aesthetics are an obvious target for this peculiar neurosis of mine, and therefor I am bound by blood to draw hard lines by which I judge with a harsh and heavy gavel. These are lines that may never be crossed until such time that I change my mind, in which case there will be a loudly articulated logic tree defending the change.

And so it is with the choice of sunglass frames which, obviously, should always be white.*

The first mistake the Pedalwan makes when trying their hand at Looking Fantastic is to overmatch their kit. Everything the in monochrome from tops to tails, throughout with the same dominant colors. It isn’t the worst place to start, much better than an uncoordinated hodgepodge for certain, but the eye needs some balanced variety; some disruptions to give it something cling to.

Cycling has a lot happening from an aesthetic point of view; bicycle frames, wheels, tires, shoes, socks, gloves, bar tape, saddles, bidons, helmets, jerseys, shorts, whirring guns…each offering its own shape, design, and color palette. Geometrically, we have variety covered. But when it comes to colors, the sky’s the limit (so long as the shorts are black). We are free to get creative and let different color combinations play off each other. But in the midst of all that noise, the eye needs a lightening rod, something neutral to to take the charge off all that Awesome. This is where white sunglasses come in: they offer a neutral contrast point to the technicolor delight that is the Elite Cyclist.

Looking Fantastic is an art. There is no user guide, no App for That. The choices you make are your own and are in themselves less important than your confidence in them. But never underestimate the grounding power of White Lightning Shades.

* This applies strictly to cycling-specific activities and does not include being shirtless on the beach wearing obnoxious square white shades to try to impress the babes. Also, in case you’re that guy and you’re reading this, the girls at the beach who are sunbathing with their bikini top untied are onto your plan to play frisbee right next to them in the hope of startling them and getting them to sit up quickly. Seriously, its not their first rodeo; try something else. Like not being such a dingbat.