2009 Broken Chain Award: Douche of the Year
There are many strong contenders for this sought-after prize. First up, David Rebellin; he was nailed as a doper. Rebellin is a rider like Johan Museeuw, with a long list of impressive wins who finally ruins it all when he slips up and gets caught, all past results are in doubt. Young Schleck should have also won La Fléche Wallonne this year. Stephan Schumacher, where to begin, I’m not sure he should be considered for 2009 as he must have won last year’s award. Jesus he is the worst. In 2008, from out of nowhere beating David Millar in a TdF time trial, soloing off the front on mountain stages, caught twice and denies it. What a German tool. Jens Voigt should be asked to pistol whip him and put it on You Tube, or pay-per-view as I would pay quite a sum for that pleasure.
But the hands down winner this year has to be Danny-Boy Di Luca. Sure he is great one year and bad the next, what could that mean? Then in this year’s Giro, the Centenary Edition, always a beautiful race filled with crazy climbs and awful transfers, he is moronic enough to piss all over this race by doping his way through it. He rides away from everyone on the climbs, time trials better than most specialists, “oh the Pink Jersey gives a rider special power.” Really? Or he is all CERA’d up, denying clean riders stage victories. I have my doubts about Menchov but at least he beat Di Luca. Sure I bought into it, who would be so stupid to dope knowing you would be tested and they had already cracked the CERA code? Di Luca is evidently that stupid, and for that combination he will be mailed the rusty broken chain award.
A two year ban is not enough. We will have to watch that evil little bastard Riccardo Ricco this Spring. A rider who used to denigrate other professionals because they weren’t strong enough. If I was a professional who had to race against Ricco this Spring I’d be tempted to ride him into a nice stone wall during Milan-San Remo.
Again, pay-per-view, Jens, luger.
Without a doubt, DiDoosha. Now I’m off to do a few lines with Tornado (snort) Tom and pout with Big George Wah-capie.
@Marko
I could have gone on and on about 2009 but my medications won’t allow it. I was on a doper tear but you are on the right track, so many awards to be handed out. As I’ve said before, I love my George Hincapie but I certainly can’t fault a director (Matt White in this case)for saying chase his ass down, we don’t need that team in Yellow, they are killing us already. Sponsors are paying the salaries here.
Lance said George was pissed enough that he wasn’t talking to him afterward.
Funny, Hincrappy probably learned a lot of his douche ways from the master Pharmstrong…
I just punctured on my rollers. WTF. At least I didn’t land on my face.
@Marko
That could be a first. Rollers. You must be young. Sheeeeit, mine have not see the light of day in years. And my tolerance for the wind trainer was 25 minutes last time I tried. Better to move somewhere warmer so you don’t have to spend sweaty hours in basement/bathroom/hall on rollers. Good on ya though. Have you tried riding no-hands? Or removing a layer of clothing whilst riding? Chicks dig that.
@brett
Pharmstrong. Loves it.
@Marko
I bet the Garmin and Astana did it just to piss you off.
@john
Agreed. I found that I hated trainers so much, it was better to get fenders and lights and bitch it out on the road.
45 minutes was our max. Did an hour once and had to see a psychiatrist for weeks afterward.
@ John
Young? I’m quickly moving into middle age. I’ll be 40 in April which means I don’t ever really take my shirt off in front of the ladies. And riding with no hands will not be happening. I just figured out how to ride without my elbows in the door frame. These rollers are going to be the only way I can ride inside, flywheel trainers drive me bonkers.
@frank. Do they make fenders for -25 F? That’s what it is outside right now. That’s even too cold to ski.
@frank
Bitch it out on the road…loves it. I think the only reason I could ride the rollers for an hour when I was young was that I was not getting laid…at all. I remember having them set up in the dirt basement of a winter rental house because it was cold enough to ride stupid rollers down there.
@Marko
Soon enough Marko, once you get the flywheel effect going you will do it. And a few quality hours getting used to how sensitive the front end is to any wee perturbation.
29″ snow wheels/tires on mtb and bitch it out! That’s what the Dutch would do.
@Marko
Dude. Ouch. That be trainers weather.
Past results were never in doubt. He just didn’t test positive previously
Pere Fronk! Are you doing a broken chain award for 2011? What about the worst show of etiquette award (chaingate anyone from 2010?)
I do not have any single moment or person in mind, yet, just curious as to your thoughts on the less-than-stellar moments of 2011.
@Buck Rogers
I’d have to nominate the Grimplette for still banging on about chaingate in this months Cycle Sport Magazine. It may have been poor etiquette by Bertie but take the moral high ground and let it go rather than whining about it.
@Chris
Ohhhh, good one. I have not received my new CycloSport Mag yet.
That makes me think though not only that, but what about his whining about the descents during the Tour.
Although, to give him some credit, he did have a truly “Epic” ride on his breakaway day.
@Buck Rogers
Credit where credit is due, I’ve watched that stage over the Galibier a few times and it’s magnificent but I can’t help thinking that at some level he knew that he’d spent too much time looking fondly at his big brother and left the whole thing too late.
@Marko Lemme tell you about taking your hands off while on the roller: get too familiar, and then one day you’ll leave a huge skip mark on the floor, and an even bigger one in your bibs