You have to love your bike.

Guest Article: The Cyclist’s Creed

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Do we love our inanimate objects too much? I don’t think so. I remember getting home from yet another Sunday ride, completely ruined. I had to thank my bike for getting me home again. I love my bike. Modern centaurs, we are not Cyclists without out bikes. @gaff sent this in from Sweden. He does not feel this is perfectly rendered so please help him rework this to something we can all chant in unison. 
VLVV, Gianni
I rode a local race the other day. After the race a bunch of us that spent the race in the same group throughout were drinking a post-ride coffee. During that, one rider had a short monologue in reverence of his noble steed that was kind of over-the-top-funny, as well as really heartfelt. The same night after I came home I was reading “The Bikes” section here and had the idea of writing an alternate version of “Rifleman’s Creed”, known from the U.S. Marines in general and the movie Full Metal Jacket in particular.
So here it goes:

This is my bike. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My bike is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My bike, without me, is useless. Without my bike, I am useless. I must ride my bike true. I must ride better than my opponents who are trying to wear me down. I must overtake him before he overtakes me. I will…

My bike and I know that what count in a race is not the time we spend leading the race, the silence of the drivetrain, nor the color of my socks. We know that it is the winning that count. We will win…

My bike is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its wheels and its gears. I will keep my bike clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will…

Before Merckx, I swear this creed. My bike and I are the defenders of our craft. We are the masters of our kind. We are the true meaning of my life.

So be it, until victory is ours and there are no opponents, but behind us!

There’s also a story about the events when an individual started rolling up his sleeves during a club ride. But that’s for another occasion…
And this, just because.

// Guest Article // Reverence

  1. good one and awesome

  2. Excellent and spot on, but I’m not getting one of those hair cuts.

    On a side note, sometimes when disciplining my kids I have to severely edit the Lee Ermey-style rant playing in my head before it reaches my vocal cords…

  3. @Ccos

    Excellent and spot on, but I’m not getting one of those hair cuts.

    On a side note, sometimes when disciplining my kids I have to severely edit the Lee Ermey-style rant playing in my head before it reaches my vocal cords…

    That would be fun. Line ’em up and give ’em some R. Lee Emery…”I bet the best part of you, etc”

  4. What, you shouldn’t talk to your kids like that now??

    Nice one, Gaff.

  5. “This my rifle, these are my guns, this is for fighting these are for fun”

  6. One of my bikes has gone to LBS for a repair. I now just look up at an empty space on the garage wall where it hung.

    Hours I spend like that, just looking and remembering…..

    Perhaps I just need to go for a ride

  7. Well done. For those who haven’t seen FMJ please realize this is an adaptation of a quote: “only two things come out of Belgium – beers and queers and you don’t look much like a beer to me so that narrows it down!”.

    As soon as Full Metal Jacket was mentioned I couldn’t get the actual quote out of my head. :)

  8. i had these printed up a couple of years ago having messed around with the wording but was never that happy with it

  9. Good news! My wife is getting a horse. Which, as you might understand, means that I can motivate buying yet another bike.

  10. @gaff

    Good news! My wife is getting a horse. Which, as you might understand, means that I can motivate buying yet another bike.

    A horse! More likely you will never be able to afford anything ever again?

  11. @Teocalli

    @gaff

    Good news! My wife is getting a horse. Which, as you might understand, means that I can motivate buying yet another bike.

    A horse! More likely you will never be able to afford anything ever again?

    At one point last year my mum had 3 horses. Pretty good way to eat and shit out any inheritance I might have otherwise expected.

    The thing that really sticks the knife in is that I’m outrageously allergic to horses.

    Anyway, bikes. Yeah. I like bikes.

  12. Celeste. Campy. Work stand. No one else is allowed near the the small corner of the basement that is mine.

  13. My bikes, my spare wheels, my unbuilt frame hang/stand in the garage. I get real edgy when someone is in there and I typically gravitate out there to make sure all is good. What are they going to touch? Are they standing too close to #1, which is leaning properly but maybe still knocked over? Unfortunatly, the laundry is in there too, so “Her indoors” gets an entry pass. (Never hinder those washing/ironing your laundry) but the kids on the other hand not so much. For some reason, they have a pile of toys (sporting equipment) that “has to be in there”. I’ve put it right at the door so they don’t really have to go in, but i’m still not happy about it.

  14. @nobby

    One of my bikes has gone to LBS for a repair. I now just look up at an empty space on the garage wall where it hung.

    Hours I spend like that, just looking and remembering…..

    Perhaps I just need to go for a ride

    I spent quite a bit on a custom set of wheels, 2.5x more than I planned. I was smitten upon opening the box. Oh they were a thing of great beauty and wonderment with the custom decals and all, but then horrified to discover the front had a bunch of concentric marks on the rim and it had to go back. The rear I kept, consoling my self by glueing on a lovely gum wall tubular. I hung on the peg waiting for it’s mate and they both to be fitted and ridden.

    That was late august. I am still waiting deliery on the replacement front. I spoke to them today actually, looks to be another three weeks. So, every morning and afternoon I enter the garage to either retrieve or return a bike, glance up at the lonely wheel, and sigh. I maked their build date on the wall calendar here at work when I ordered them. It was a long two weeks. They were going to help me win the club championships. The season is now over. I glance up at the calendar and marvel at how long ago that was, I picture the wheel hanging in the garage and wonder at how long i must continue to wait until I get to enjoy their song of tubular, carbon, and asphalt.

    No one shall accuse me of being impatient from now on….. no one. Mum always said “great things come to those who wait”

  15. @Teocalli

    Nah, you can kill the horse.

  16. @Mark Elliott

    @Teocalli

    Nah, you can kill the horse.

    Keep you in burgers for a good while I suppose.

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